


Abomination

by SupernaturalAddict



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas still has his wings, Castiel is Innocent, Daddy Crowley, Dead Parents, Dean Being an Asshole, Dean Hates Love, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Death, F/M, First Blade, Fluff, Implied Bisexual Reader, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean, Jealous Sam, Multi, No cheating, No ones in a relationship, Other, Pet Names, Possibly Unrequited Love, Pretty Boys, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Public Sex, Sex Is Fun, Smut, The Darkness - Freeform, demon/angel, not canon, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:02:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 71,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11303436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalAddict/pseuds/SupernaturalAddict
Summary: What happens when the girl sent by the king of hell falls in love with the Winchester who refuses to love. What happens when she gets rejected by the older Winchester and she releases her inner demons. What'll happen when the boys find out shes really a demon/angel hybrid after only finding out herself shortly before. Even being raised by the king of hell to know you were at least half demon didn't prepare you for the roller coaster of loving and hating Dean Winchester. You only just begun to realize how much of an abomination you really were.A/N I do not own any of the supernatural characters.





	1. Only the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing fanfiction and I've been working with the idea in my head for awhile, it may not be great but feedback would be great. It's going to be in parts and I'll try and post when I finish each.

You stood standing in front of the bathroom sink forcing yourself not to look into the mirror. You had to keep yourself from showing what you were, an abomination, the way you were acting surely they could tell. You had one goal set by your adoptive father, to watch over them and report anything they may have been doing to catch him off guard. He said you were different then the rest of them, the demons, even if you didn’t quite know what he meant.

“Y/N?” you heard a knock on the door with a deep voice on the other side that sounded concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, just needed to freshen myself up a little,” you say as you look up at yourself in the mirror, eyes as black and shiney as onyx. “I will be out in a moment.”

You heard a soft growl on the other side of the door before you heard his deep voice again, “just hurry okay?”

“Okay,” you say turning to the door. “Just don’t start without me.”

All you heard in response was a groan and a thud only assuming he had thrown himself restlessly on the bed. You turned yourself back to the mirror and forced your eyes to turn back into the beautiful (Y/E/C) that drove men and women alike insane. You reached up to pull the ponytail undone that had been holding your (Y/H/C) hair out of your face and sighed as you normally had done after a long night hunting. You had blood on your hoodie and the front of your tight black jeans, all you could think about is how you almost let them see what you were. All you could remember is the breath taking pleasure you had felt taking that creature's life, even when after long dead you continued to butcher it.

As you unzip your hoodie and slide it off, leaving you in only your tight white tank top that you could practically see through, you started to hear another groan, only having more of a deep frustration and footsteps coming towards the bathroom door once more.

“(Y/N) what’s taking you so long?” he muttered deeply.

“You want me to look somewhat good, don’t you?” you smirked as you remembered how much waiting upset him. You let out a slight purr of excitement when you heard the handle start to move. “You don’t think I’m smart enough to lock the door when I want my alone time, silly hunter.”

“You also forget that if I wanted to kick the door down right now I could.” he growled at you.

“And yet you haven’t, because deep down you love when I build the sexual tension,” you chuckled softly and heard a soft mumble for a response, not that you could make out what he was saying.

You stood directly in front of the door now almost forgetting the real reason you had been in the bathroom, to hide your true self from the man you have been having sex with for the past 8 months. The man you’ve known and desperately craved for over two years.

“Go sit on the bed.” you said sternly, trying not to let on that the impatience in his deep was starting to turn you on slightly.

“What do I get out of it?” he said curiously.

“Do it and find out,” you heard the footsteps again and a softer thud then before. You unlock the door and open it slowly, putting your hand against the door frame to lean slightly against it. “Good boy.”

His head was looking down at his feet before he heard your voice again, his hair was short and a light sandy brown, spiked up slightly from when he always would run his large hands through it and suited his ruggedness perfectly. His jawline was sharp almost as though you could cut yourself on it. His cheekbones were beyond perfect and his eyes were the most piercing shade of emerald green you’ve ever seen. His body was almost to perfect as well, so sculpted and tight. He wasn’t wearing the red flannel he had been wearing earlier only his tight black t-shirt and his jeans. You could see almost every well defined muscle under his shirt, muscles you knew very well due to the fact your hands and tongue have touched almost every single one, many times.

He started to stand as you walked towards him. “Winchester, my orders were very clear. You sit back down, now.”

He smirked, it was almost enough to let him do as he wanted, almost. “Are you going to make me, sweetheart?”

You stopped a few feet from him, even now he towered over you. He was handsome, strong, and tall. All the things you’ve always liked in a man's physical appearance, but it wasn’t just his looks that drew you to him. He was kind and gentle, he would never admit to it if you said that out loud to though.

“Well?” His voice brought you out of your trance.

“You know, I could say that I would force you down onto the bed but we both know how that would work. You would grab me and instead do what you wanted,” you smirked looking up at him innocently. “Or I could gently lead you om to the bed and make you think I’m going to do things you always love.”

You could see the deviant smile form on his face as he looks at you with his beautiful green eyes. “I sense another option coming.”

You raise your right hand to your chin and move your gaze slightly to the right of him. “Or I could just tempt you with what you could have and tell you no until you do as I say,” your eyes meet back with his and a smug smile crept over your lips.

He doesn’t budge and looks at you with a stern gaze. “Mhm, sure sweetheart.”

He was calling your bluff, to bad for him you weren’t. You moved both hands to the waistband of your jeans slowly unbuttoning and unzipping them, never breaking your eye contact with him. “Suit yourself big boy.”

You bent slowly pulling your pants down as you went and slowly coming back up to step out of them. He kept his gaze to you as you turned around and lifted your arms slightly, with your back to him. Lifting your arms like you did caused your tank top to lift above your hips where the hemline had been sitting snuggly, showing your black lace thong to him. You start stretching slightly to the left and right before finally bending yourself forwards. You could hear a growl in delight, you knew he always loved how you looked bent over, even better over his knee or as he thrusted his dick inside of you.

“O-okay, if I sit down are you going to stop teasing me and do what I want?” you could hear a slight annoyance in his voice. You looked back at him with your lip curved slightly into a crooked smile.

Slowly standing up right and turning around you purred softly. “I just might,” you moved your hands down your torso slowly and grabbed the hem of your tank top, lifting it off of you slowly. You wanted to show yourself off the the man in front of you. In this moment you didn’t care what you were, all you wanted to do was torture this sexy man in front of you.

You pause slightly as you think about how long it’s been since you’ve actually had sex with him, and realize it’s almost been two weeks since you had been just alone together. You were normally sharing a room with him and his taller younger brother at the nasty hotels, so there wasn’t much privacy. For some reason the younger of the brothers had decided to get his own room tonight.

“You’re killing me you know,” he growled and watched as you finished pulling off your tank top. He bit his plump bottom lip as he watched your breast bounce slightly when you brought your arms back down to your side. You had on a black bra with a little red lace on its trim didn’t leave much to the imagination, it pressed into your breast snuggly and made your boobs almost pop out of it with even the smallest of movements. You knew he would like it because of that reason alone, made it hell during hunts but it made him gleam with happiness when he saw it on you.

He ran his big hand through his hair and back down his face, you couldn’t help but watch his bicep and forearm muscles flex. He finally sat back down on the bed. “Good boy,” you couldn’t help but say as you walked over to him. A playful smile took over his mouth as you stood in front of him and ran your hand through his soft hair. He started to kiss your stomach softly and moved down to your hip, along the waistband of your thong before pulling it into his teeth. As he let go and moved his tongue along your waist you felt a heat run through your stomach and down into your core.

He grabbed your hips roughly and looked up into your eyes, his eyes had darkened with lust and at the same time a spiteful rage that you knew deep down you loved. “You're bad to have kept me waiting (Y/N).”

You moved onto his lap, straddling him and put your hand on his stubbled chin keeping his face in your direction knowing he wanted to bite and nip at your chest as soon as you were on top of him. “Did daddy not like his little toy making him wait?” you moved your face next to his and pressed your lips against his ear before whispering, “Does daddy hate it when his little toy told him what to do?”

You could feel his grip tighten on your hips and his jaw clench, but before you  could do anything else you bucked his hips into yours and the next thing you knew you were on your back. He grabbed your wrists and pulled them above your head roughly holding them there with one of his hands as he worked his belt buckle with the other. “(Y/N), you’re going to wish you didn’t tease me like you did,” he snarled slightly while pulling his belt from his pants. “Now you’re going to listen to me, or this belt is going to leave a nice red mark on that round ass of yours. Understood?” he set the belt next to him, bent in half slightly.

You nodded and sighed softly. “Yes daddy.”

He bit your neck roughly and moved the hand not holding yours in place up your thigh. “Good girl,” His hands warm, quick movement and his low rumbling tone into your neck made you shiver. You could feel him smile into your neck as he started to rub your through the little fabric there was, feeling him slowly move the fabric to separate the lips of your pussy.

You let out a soft moan as he bit your jaw softly and moved his thumb over your clit, making sure to rub it softly as to torture you as much as he could. “Mm, daddy’s toy is nice and wet already. Do you want daddy to fuck you (Y/N)?” he growled into your ear and you replied with a nod.

He moved his hand that had been holding yours down to your breast, almost becoming to impatient as he pulls your bra down and letting your boobs spill out. He kissed down your neck, licking your skin gently as he moved down your boob taking your nipple in his mouth, sucking it softly. “D-daddy..” you let out a soft moan.

He bit down on your nipple softly and looked up at you. You knew he could tell that the gentleness of his touch on your clit was driving you mad, so much you almost regret making him listen to you. He released your nipple with a soft wet popping noise, you could see the satisfaction in his eyes. “Yes sweetheart,” his touch seemed to be getting harder but still as slow as it was.

You bit your slip slightly looking at him, bucking your hips into his hand wanting him to touch you more. “Please, D-daddy.. I want m-more…”

He started to moved down your body further and stopped all movement with his hand, making you whimper.  You felt the bed shift more as he sat up. “Look at me (Y/N),” you looked up at him as he smiled, you pouted slightly. “I want you to touch yourself.”

You hesitated for a moment until you saw his brow furrow, you didn’t want the belt tonight so you complied with his demand. You started to pull down your thong halfway expecting him to help but when he didn’t you finished taking it off on your own, you knew if sex was the final goal for the night he was probably going to just rip them off and you’ve become fond of this pair unlike the others.

“Yes, sir,” you moved your hand into your crotch and started rubbing softly looking up at his pleased facial expression.

“Good girl, now I want you to make yourself climax for me as I watch you.” 

You bit your lip and started to rub your clit softly, slowly getting faster. You hated but loved at how dominate he got when he wants something. You slide one finger in your entrance as you rub your clit harder, closing your eyes and pressing your head back into the pillow underneath your head. You barely hear his own moan from the satisfaction of watching you over your own.

As you got closer to coming you rub yourself faster, opening your eyes to see him standing next to the bed. You had been too busy enjoying your sensation to notice the weight had lifted from the bed. He was shirtless now, his muscles more defined without his shirt on. You couldn’t help but stare at his perfect body, moaning louder as you reach your climax. His abs were hardened and you could see faint scars from the few times hunts went south but you still thought even those were mouth watering. His chest was chiseled and his shoulders were wide, almost making his body a V shape from there to his waist.

As you start to come down from your climax he leaned down slightly over your face and grins. “As much I loved watching you please yourself, it’s my turn. Hands and knees,” you looked at him slightly confused and dazed until he raises his voice. “Now (Y/N)!”

You quickly realized what he had told you to do and did so, you made sure to spread your legs far enough to rest between them if that's what he wanted to do. When you heard his zipper and the soft thud as his pants hit the ground you couldn’t help but smile. All you wanted was thick cock inside of you and before you knew it a whimper left your lips.

His callused hand ran down from your back down onto your ass and massaged it softly, you moved back into it as much as he would let you and you could almost swear you heard a soft groan coming from him. The next thing you knew you felt the tip of it pressing against the entrance softly as one of his hands ran up your back to your hair, leaving the other firmly on your ass.

He gripped your hair tightly and pulled your head back making you look at him. “What do you say, princess?” you see his lip perk up in a smile.

You could see his evil grin even in his eyes, lustful and angry much like they always are when he’s like this. You bite your lip and meet his gawking gaze whimpering softly wanting him to fill every inch of you. “Please, Dean,” you finally say as calmly as you could.

Before you knew it a hand had struck your ass firmly and left it throbbing. You hear a growl come out of his throat as he pulls your hair harder and presses his lips to your ear. “You know what you’re supposed to call me when I have you like this (Y/N). Now try that again before I use the belt,” he whispers it softly but his deep raspy voice in your ear sent shivers down your spin.

As you try to answer his demand you felt a sharp pain in your neck as he bit down into it, leaving it purple and knowing it would bruise. It was a good thing you're able to will yourself to heal quickly.

He growls again gripping your sore ass cheek roughly making a knot form in your throat. You swallow roughly as you push into his hand. “Please, daddy. I-I need you inside of m-me,” you say shakily.

You can feel him smile into your shoulder before sliding the head of his dick inside of you, making sure you adjust before trying to go in further. “Fuck, (Y/N). How is it even possible to be this tight again?” he groans into your back.

As he slides it in slowly inch by inch you let off soft moans allowing him to know that you were enjoying his thickness. You push back into him urging him you were ready for his full force but when he was fully in he just kept it there, you could feel it throbbing and you were sure he felt the tightening around himself when you became impatient. “Da-daddy, pl-please” you manage to let out with a broken tone.

“Say what you want baby,” determined to keep one hand in your hair tightly he reached around in front of you, grazing your pussy gently.

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t scream anymore, daddy,” you say sternly as you press yourself further into him but at the same time urging him to touch you with his strong hand.

He pulls it out slowly making you let out a whimper thinking that he wasn’t happy with your pleading, until he thrusts it back into you with full thrusts. He has a way of leaving you on edge until he gets what he wants, but you love it.

“Oh GOD,” you scream as he continues to thrust into you, harder and harder with each one. He pulls your hair and makes your body come up with him until you were on just your knees, back against his strong chest.

He kissed your neck and moved the hand that had once been in your hair to your breast, kneading them in his hand. He started to slow his pace a bit that left you needy and curious all at once. Dean rarely ever was actually affectionate but you didn’t blame him because you knew of his past, although you did crave his touch. Especially his kiss, which of all the things you’ve done together kissing was not one. He always kept his affection mean and sexual, never loving even when you craved it he was always the one calling the shots. He often used his strength against you, if only he knew what real strength you had and that you only let him do those things because you wanted them.

As he kept his slow pace he moved his hand not on your breast to your stomach, digging his strong fingers into it tightly. “Tell me I’m the only one who gets to fuck you, princess,” he growled in your ear thrusting into you deeply.

“You’re the only one who gets to fuck me, daddy,” you purr as you lean back against him as much as physically possible.

“Good,” his tone was soft for a moment before he groaned and started thrusting into you harder again. He used the hand on your stomach to keep you in place as he kept going faster and harder.

You started to moan loudly as he hit your g-spot almost screaming, getting closer to the edge. He moved the hand he had on your breast to your neck and started to choke you softly. “Such a good little slut for daddy,” he groaned into your neck as he felt you tighten around him. “Come for me, princess.”

Just like that you were coming for him, his demand pushing you over the edge you were on. “Daddy, o-oh god,” you screamed loudly.

He pushed you back onto your hands and knees, gripping your hips tightly as he pumped into you as hard and fast as he could. His hands so tight on your hips you could almost feel the bruises form, but if felt so you didn’t care and soon you were already on the edge again. “You’re going to hold it sweetheart, until I’m ready,” he said as he felt you clenching around his thickness again.

All you could do is nod in response as you forced yourself to hold your climax, but his hard movement into you hitting all the right spots had you wanting to come more then anything.

He ran his hand up your back and gripped your hair again pulling it tightly. His breath had gotten heavier and his voice was deeper. “Alright princess, come for daddy,” you could almost hear the smirk on his voice.

You let yourself release as you felt the bucking of his hips start to lose its rhythm and the warmness of his own release just made yours feel so much better. “Mmhmm, daddy,” you moaned as you pressed back into his making sure not to lose any of the feeling he had given you.

He groaned and patted your butt softly signalling you he was done. You bit your lip as he pulled out of you, enjoying the last feeling of him inside of you before finishing pulling it out of you. “Now that was a good girl,” you could hear the smirk on his lips in his voice.

You moved over to the side of the bed to let him lay down and soon felt the urge to sleep flood you. “Dean?” you whimpered.

“Yeah sweetheart?” he asked as you felt a blanket cover your body and the bed shake softly as he laid down next to you.

“Were you concerned when I took that much anger out on the vamp tonight?” you rolled over to face him.

He put his hand on your cheek, cupping it gently and smiled softly, you could even see the smile in his eyes. “Of course I was, Sam and I both were, but that’s because we care about you (Y/N),” he said almost sweetly. “Are you alright? I mean do you know why you let so much anger out like that?”

You couldn’t help but stare into his eyes for a moment, wanting nothing more than to kiss the kind man in front of you, but you knew better. “Thanks Dean, and no I don’t really know why. It’s almost like I just felt the need to do it,” you lied to him. You knew exactly why you did it, the demon inside of you wants out, the goodness in you almost let it. You wanted blood.

“Well, talk to me if you need to okay sweetheart? I mean it,” he smiled again before removing his hand from your cheek.

“You know I will.”

“Good,” he huffed as he rolled over to face the other direction. “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

You couldn’t help but stare at him, even it being just the back of his head. Did Dean Winchester just show and say he actually genuinely cared about you? No, he couldn’t. You were just a hunting companion and friend to both brothers, but also a fuck doll for Dean, right? Maybe he did though and maybe he would actually show that to you in more ways than one. Has the man you’ve known for years gone soft? No, he’s Dean fucking winchester, he only goes soft for his brother and the angel. Why do you care so much if Dean did care?

You shook your head semi violently to break your trance and roll over to face the other side of the room, back to back with Dean. He was one of the nicest men you’ve come to know. He made you smile and laugh, a thing very hard to do knowing where you grew up. You both loved the same unhealthy food and classic rock music. You even could out drink him half the time, of course you have a little different of blood to alcohol tolerance not being all human

You ran your hand over your face trying to cloud your thoughts with anything but him. Nothing seemed to work.

You looked over your shoulder and smiled at him as you saw his body move slowly, hearing his faint snore. Maybe it isn’t just in a normal way you care about him, maybe you lov- no you couldn’t. You scrunched your face and swallowed deeply.

 You’re in love with Dean Winchester.


	2. Reminiscing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up the next morning because Sammy is to impatient, but all in all you remembered the day you met the Winchester boys and how different it might be if Dean wasn't the one who made his move...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at summaries. Please let me know what you think! I would appreciate feedback greatly.

You woke to a knock on the door and your name being called. “(Y/N)!”

You groan and sit up in the bed, wiping your eyes. All you could think about was how much you wanted to shoot who woke you and how badly you craved a cup of coffee.

The knock on the door started again and you hear the voice once more. “(Y/N)! Are you and Dean even up and dressed yet?” the voice sounded irritated.

It took you a moment to realize it was Sam, the younger brother of the Winchester you had just lain with. “Give me a minute to wake up, holy fuck Sam!” you snapped finally.

The knocking finally stopped and you heard a loud sigh from behind the door to your hotel room. “Just hurry up and get ready please. I would like to get to the bunker before night hits.”

“Okay!” you groan and remove the covers from your body. You threw your legs down from the side of the bed and stood up stretching.

The younger Winchester was still standing at the door and you rolled your eyes. “(Y/N), I’m sorry I woke you,” he said softly.

Sam was always the softer one of the two brothers, almost like a giant teddy bear. You sighed. “Give me a second and I’ll let you in,” you said as you realized the only thing you had on was a bra from last night, Dean never fully took it off of you. Frantically looking around the room for your hoodie you remembered that for one it was covered in vamp goo and two it was in the bathroom. The bathroom door had been shut and the shower running, meaning Dean was taking a shower and the door was locked. He didn’t like people walking in on him in any case, the only time you could see him naked is when he decides to fuck you. The thought of the last time you tried brings a smile to your face, he was embarrassed and tried to cover himself as much as possible, what a dork.

You tried to find your tank top but also remembered that your pants were bloody and gross still too. If you had spare clothes you’d be fine but Dean didn’t let you bring any. Jackass. Biting your lip you debated using the blanket on the bed but decided against when your eyes wandered to the red flannel now on the floor. Perfect.

It was Deans and he may not like you wearing it, but at this point you didn’t have much of an option. It covered the necessary places it needed to, although you only buttoned a few of the bottom buttons, leaving your bra slightly exposed. “Good enough,” you said to yourself quietly and walk over to the door.

You open the door and see Sam facing the opposite direction staring out over the balcony. “Hey big boy,” you sighed before he turned around. He was handsome, but more boyish than his older brother. Though Dean was taller than you, Sam stood even taller still. His hair a bit dark chestnut brown, definitely longer being that the tips touch nearly down to his shoulders. His muscles larger and more defined than that of his brother as well. Sam's eyes were a beautiful shade of hazel, although you never really got lost in them like you did the emeralds of Deans. If you didn’t know they were brothers you would have never guessed.

“Hey, (Y/N),” he smiled softly when he made eye contact with you.

“Come on in, Dean's showering and doesn’t know I’m in his flannel. I would very much appreciate your backup in this considering my clothes are dirty and bloody. Also, I don’t really have any other options,” you giggled softly. You noticed him glance down not realizing he hadn’t even looked at your body until you said something about it. Sam was sweet.

His eyes can’t help but stay on your body as you watch him, but curiously enough you don’t tell him not to stare. You had always been fond of both brothers, in terms of being attracted to both anyways, Dean just made the first move on you when it came to being more than friends, well fuck buddies.

You smiled and couldn’t help but think back to the day you met the Winchesters.

 ….

Your adoptive father sent you to watch them, but it ended up to be them watching you. You wore a tight black dress that clung to your stomach and reached down a couple inches to cover your thighs, clinging to them so the dress wouldn’t raise up. It was strapless and allowed your cleavage to show wonderfully, when you looked into the mirror before leaving to go to the bar they were at you couldn’t help but think “I’d tap that.” You wore dark blue stilettos to match the handbag you used that night, making you another few inches taller, though not much compared to the brothers. Your hair was longer than, laying flat against your head and shoulders. Dad said to make the boys want more but leave little to imagination, it was perfect. The only thing that could ruin how you felt about yourself was the irritated skin on your hip where your father had made you get the anti possession tattoo.

You could almost hear his light british toned voice in the room with you again. “The boys need to believe you’re a hunter like them, that’s why we trained you to fight like we did. The tattoo is just a mere cherry on top, so if by chance one of them is to your liking and you choose to sleep with him, he’ll see it. I’m not going to be sending anything dangerous to prove yourself to them, at least not yet. Use it to your advantage, my pet,” encouraging you to have sex with one of them, dear old dad. He may have been the King of Hell and encouraged you to do stupid shit, but he loved you like his own.

Smiling at yourself in the mirror you just shrugged off the irritation and remembered that it wasn’t your only tattoo, the irritation won’t last long with how fast you can heal. “Off to the bar,” you huffed to yourself as you walked out of the bathroom and out the front door.

When you got there you could sense them inside, realizing your power was stronger than you had thought. Then maybe dad had thought.

You walked up to the front door and opened it, having a rush of hot air hit your face. The smell of cheap booze and the sound of classic rock filled your senses. Looking around you tried to spot who you thought the Winchesters were, no one ever showed you what they looked like and even though you could feel their presence, it was new feeling to you so you didn’t even know where to begin to start. All you could do is hope your instincts were correct, at least for now. 

Having no luck finding anyone who had the features of Sam and Dean that had been described to you, you gave up and just went to the bar for a drink.

“I.D. please,” the bartender asked and you handed him your license, fake either way but it worked. “What can I get you miss (Y/L/N)?” he smiled down at you, his eyes taking a moment to glance at your cleavage.

“Whiskey,” you smiled at him sweetly. You watched the bartender turn around when you heard footsteps come up from behind you.

“Nice choice in drink, although a pretty girl like you doesn’t look to be the type to drink the hard stuff,” his voice was deep and husky, but yet it was attractive and sent small chills down your spin, even with how hot the place was.

You move your hand to brush your hair behind your ear as the bartender brings you your glass. “Thank you,” you say shyly as he winks at you.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who finds you appealing, sweetheart.”

“Although I appreciate the compliment, I don’t appreciate being hit on,” you turn to face the man speaking to you.

Your eyes opened wide as the man who stood before you was how the other demons described as Dean Winchester, at least you assumed. “Something got your tongue?” he smirked confidently, seeing you gawk at him. He was a lot sexier then you had imagined.

You swallow roughly. “Not at all,” you stand to walk past him. Thinking to yourself “Play it cool, play it cool.”

“Well, before you walk away from me for good, do you mind if I get your name?” you could hear him follow you.

Turning to face him you sigh and remember why you were there, you needed them, him to like you. “My name is (Y/N),” didn’t seem fit to lie to him.

“A pleasure, I’m Agent Stark. I’m in town on a case,” he takes your hand and kisses it softly, sending heat down your body. At the same time you had to force yourself not to laugh at the name he gave you, Stark the name of a famous marvel superhero. What was Sam going to tell you, Rogers or Banner.

“The pleasure is mine, Agent Stark,” you smile and look at the man who stands almost towering above you. “So, Agent, are you with something along the lines of FBI?”

“Now that would be classified information miss (Y/N),” his eyes looked at you intently, they were gorgeous.

“Of course, my apologies agent,” you removed your hand from his and turned to walk away.

“(Y/N), would you care to join my partner and I for a few drinks. On me of course,” you stopped and smiled before turning around.

“Well, who am I to deny you the pleasure of my company,” you smiled at him softly, showing a small amount of your bright whitened teeth. “Especially being a man as handsome and charming as yourself.”

He held out his arm for you to grab it, so you did just that and followed him over to the table where a man who looked like the perfect description of Sam sat. He too more attractive then you could have even dreamed. “You know I don’t normally appreciate being hit on either,” he growls softly. “But I’ll let it slide for a beautiful woman like yourself,” you smirked to yourself knowing how full of shit he was. After all he was the one always sleeping around, so you were told.

You almost started to blush as he pulled out a chair for you to sit at the table. “Are you going to introduce me to your handsome partner, agent?” you watched him sit in the chair next to you, then turned your attention to the handsome younger brother.

“(Y/N), this is Agent Banner.”

You reach your hand over the table shake hi partner's hand, while at the same time trying to contain your smirk as much as you could. You fucking knew it, they were for sure Sam and Dean Winchester. “It’s a pleasure, (Y/N),” he takes your hand gently in his and you can’t help but stare into his lovely hazel eyes.

 ….

“(Y/N), is everything okay?” Sam said as he placed his hand on your shoulder, it was calloused but softer than Deans normally was.

You placed your hand over his as you came out of your trance. “Just perfect Sammy,” you smiled and stood on your tiptoes to kiss jaw line, considering that's what you could reach. “Thanks for asking,” you were always more affectionate with Sam, even as just friends. Things would be much different if he had been the one to make a move on you first, instead of sleeping with Dean you may have ended up sleeping with the younger Winchester. In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind it if you did have sex with Sam. Hell, he may have wanted more from you then head and a quick lay.

He smiles softly and squeezes your shoulder gently, but quickly released it when the bathroom door opened. Sam didn’t like being affectionate with you in front of his brother, in fear that it may upset him. After all, you were Deans, even as just a fuck toy.

“Mornin’ Sammy,” he smiled with his eyes closed, shaking the towel against his head to dry his hair. He was only wearing black boxers that clung well to his body, making his v-line look amazing.

“Morning Dean,” Sam shook his head while looking at his brother, thinking exactly what you were. Dean Winchester is to dweebish for his own good sometimes.

“Morning princess,” he threw his towel across the room and hit you in the face softly with it. He glanced over at you quickly and then back at Sam who had gone over to the table in the corner to pack up reports from last night's hunt.

“Dean, can you get dressed so we can head home?” Sam looked back at his half naked brother while throwing a backpack over his shoulder, filled with the reports he had just put away.

“Sure thing Sammy boy,” he jokingly slapped Sam on the back and reached onto a nearby chair that held his jeans and black shirt. As he got dressed you watched him closely, all of his muscles clenching and moving underneath his snug shirt as he put it on. “Have you seen my flannel?” you heard him ask sam which made you quickly blush. He obviously didn’t take a good look at you yet, a part of you hoped that he would enjoy the view once he did. “(Y/N), give me my flannel, please.” 

You looked down and sighed softly, of course he didn’t like it. He never liked anything that remotely felt intimate other then putting his dick in you. “All of my clothes are covered in blood and you didn’t let me bring a bag with us, saying it would cause your baby too much stress,” you said irritated.

“Well, you either wear the blood covered clothes or ride home naked. Give me my shirt,” he walked up to you with his hand held out.

You started unbuttoning the shirt when you heard Sam clear his throat. “(Y/N), wait a sec,” he gave you a small smile and walked over to the bag sitting by the door. You didn’t see him even put it there.

Dean scoffed as Sam pulled one of his own shirts out of his bag. “Sam, you don’t have to do this,” you say sweetly as he handed it to you.

“It’s fine really,” he smiled at you and rested his hand on your shoulder for a slight second giving it a small squeeze. He was always nicer to you then Dean when it came to your actual feelings. Sure, Dean was nice to you most of the time unless it had anything to do with intimacy, he treated you like an acquaintance when he wasn’t your fuck buddy.

“Thank you, Sammy,” you stood on your tiptoes and hugged him. As you felt one of his strong arms wrapp around your waist tightly Dean scoffed again. “I’ll be right back and then we can leave,” you let go of Sam and looked up at him, giving him a soft smile before turning to walk towards the bathroom. Dean stood in front of you and had a dirty look on his face as he watched you, you gave him your best resting bitch face. “Jackass,” you said quickly before walking past him.

You walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind you, letting out a huge sigh. You took off his flannel and set it on the counter of the sink. Why did you have to be dumb enough to fall in love with someone you know will never love you back? He hates the thought of love, the only people he loved are dead except for Sam, you’re just an easy lay for him after a hunt. Why do you stay knowing who he is, the moment he gets bored with your body he’ll move on to another warm one. You just had to hope that wasn’t the case.

You grabbed his flannel and opened the door a crack, throwing it out to Dean. “There, you can have your shitty shirt back,” you shut the door quickly and heard footsteps coming towards it, stopping right outside the door.

He let out a soft growl and you could tell it was Dean. “Watch your language sweetheart, and best not let me catch you wearing my clothes again. You hear me?”

You swallowed hard and nodded almost expecting him to hear it before realizing he couldn’t see you. “Yes, sir.”

The last thing you heard was a pleased soft grunt before feet walking away again. You didn’t get why you were so afraid of them both, they of course didn’t know it but you were as strong as them, stronger even. If one of them did anything to hurt you in a way you didn’t like, you could easily fend them off. Maybe it was because of all this time being with them both you knew they were family, and you didn’t want to disappoint them.

You shook your head in attempt to uncloud your thoughts and put on the shirt Sam let you wear. It was slightly bigger than deans due to Sam being taller, but you didn’t mind it all that much due to the fact it covered you much better. You smiled a little as you picked up the hoodie you had left in the bathroom the previous night and sighed, “time to go home”.

You walked over to the door of the bathroom but stopped yourself for a moment and thought. “Maybe if I can make him see I’m not just a fuck toy for him, he’ll see he loves me. Genuine and unconditional love.” You bit your lip softly, you knew what you were going to do. You were going to take control of him for a change, show him you aren’t a weak girl like he thinks you are. Like you show him you are when you pretend to be lesser than him. Maybe then he could be intimate with you like you craved.

You opened the door and saw Sam and Dean getting ready to leave the room. You looked around for the remainder of your clothing but noticed it hadn’t been where you last saw it. “(Y/N), I grabbed your clothes and put them in my bag,” Sam looked at you while he spoke gently.

“Thank you, Sam, but you really didn’t ha-” you began to say before he cut you off.

“I know,” he winked and walked out the room leaving you with Dean for a short minute.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I should’ve asked first if I could wear it,” you walked over to him as he picked up his duffel.

“Just don’t let it happen again,” he looked at you scowling slightly. “Sammy should’ve just let you ride naked though, it’s a real shame. I love seeing that body of yours,” he smirked and winked at you.

You sighed softly smiling at him gently, just when you were starting to think he had gone full jackass, there he was being sweet to you again. It may have been a comment about your body sexually, but you took it.

“Maybe if I’m in the mood later, daddy,” you pat his cheek and walked out of the room in front of you, you could sense his eyes looking at your ass a little to long as he walked behind you. You decided to walk a bit slower as you walked down the stairs to the parking lot, that's when you felt his strong hand grope your ass softly.

“Don’t tempt me, sweetheart,” he growled in your ear as you made it to the bottom step. He walked past you and you couldn’t help but let your own eyes linger down. His ass looked toned in his tight blue jeans, lord have mercy, why did he have to create such a creature like Dean.

He went to the back of his beautiful 67’ Impala to put his bag in the trunk and you couldn’t help but follow. You watched as he bent over and his thigh muscle flexed under his jeans. You couldn’t help yourself and you gripped his ass softly. He stood up quickly turning to look at you, his brow furrowed and you could see he didn’t enjoy you groping him much.

You got closer to him, almost touching as you could feel his breath hit your face as he started to breathe heavier, angrier. “Listen here, Winchester,” he started to open his mouth to protest, he hated when you called him that, but you didn’t let him. “When we get back to the bunker, if you want it, I’m the one who calls the shots. Got it?”

“You wanna bet,” he grabbed your wrist firmly.

You smirked slightly and pulled out of his grasp like it was nothing, he looked shocked. “Bet.”

He looked at you like you were crazy and had something to hide so you just smiled, patting his groin softly. His jaw twitched slightly like he was about to say something, but before he could you had already walked over to the back door of the Impala and gotten in.

Dean walked past your door and opened the driver side door, hesitating slightly before getting in. When he did finally slide into the driver's seat of the impala his gaze met yours in the rear view mirror. You smirked at him deviously before leaning forward with your arms as a head rest on the front seat of the car. “Well, boys,” you paused and let your tongue work its way out of your mouth, grazing your dry bottom lip. “Let’s go home.”

Dean turned his head slightly to meet your gaze and smirked, turning the key in the ignition. “Yes, Ma’am.”

You patted his shoulder gently and turned to kiss Sam on the cheek. “Hurry, because I miss my angel,” you chuckled softly before sitting back in your seat for the long drive home.


	3. Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pit stop and a text makes you remember the day you met the blue eyed angel. Did you just learn that Sam was a deviant?

You had been on the road for about 4 hours when Dean finally decided it was best to stop for gas. “Alright, everyone outta the car.” Dean said as he turned the key in the ignition.

“Ugh,” you stretched your arms and sat up from where you had been laying in the back seat. “Why are you choosing now to stop, I told you I had to pee an hour ago, you dick.”

“Need gas,” he was already at the gas pump getting ready to fill up the impala when you got out. “By the way sweetheart, you might wanna fix the shirt. I love seeing your ass and all, but I don’t think the little kids in there should see that much at their age.”

Your eyes opened wide realizing the shirt had risen up your back and quickly pulled it down as far as you could. “Mother fucker,” you basically yelled at him as his lip curled in a snarky smile. “You know all too well this is your fault, if you would have just let me bring back up clothes.”

“Not my fault you got your clothes covered in blood. Should have been more careful, princess,” the smirk that was present on his lips was just making you increasingly more angry.

Before you could respond you felt a large hand on your shoulder stopping you. “(Y/N), I have a pair of sweatpants you can put on until we get back to the bunker,” you turned your head to look up at the tall figure standing next to you. Sam was looking down at you smiling gently, his dimples defined on his cheeks. “I should have offered sooner.”

You smiled at him. “You’ve already been nice enough to lend me a shirt, you don’t need to do that.”

He let go of your shoulder and moved to the trunk of the car. “I know,” he said as he glanced back at you, opening the truck to pull out a pair of sweatpants from his bag. “I’d feel bad if anyone got the wrong idea.”

He held out his hand to hold them out to you and you blushed slightly taking them. “Thank you, Sam. They might be too big but they’ll work,” you quickly put them on and rolled the waistband as much as you could to keep the pants up. You looked down at your feet seeing that the pant legs were still past them.

“We’re almost home, you won’t have to wear ‘em that long,” Sam chuckled softly as he watched you bend down to roll up the pant legs.

“They’re perfect, just gonna grab my shoes and my phone before I head in. You guys need anything?” you walked past Sam and back to the back seat of the impala. 

“Nope, I’m good,” Sam just held up a granola bar from his pocket as you turned back around to face him. 

“Alright,” you leaned back against the side of the car and put your shoes on. “Dean?” 

“Nah, I’m good. Just hurry it up sweetheart,” you looked back at him in time to see he had already finished putting the gas cap back on. 

“Be back in a flash,” you smiled at them both before quickly making your way to the bathrooms that were on the side of the building. Your phone was off since yesterday before the hunt so you decided now was a good time as any to check it. 

As soon as you had opened the door to the bathroom and shut it your phone started going off with notifications. You couldn’t help but sigh, it was always when you couldn’t talk when you were the most popular. 

You did your business and washed your hands before looking at all the missed messages. The first one that caught your eye was from Charlie, your best friend. 

 _“(Y/N), is everything okay? I haven’t heard from you in a few days.”_  

You chuckled softly, you and Charlie didn’t have a lot in common but you were both absolute nerds. That’s why you were such great friends, that and she cared when you didn’t message her for weeks at a time.

 _“I’m fine, just been out hunting with the boys. Glad to know that if you’re texting me you’re good.”_ you responded. She was the only person you really talked to that the boys knew about, even if they always tried to snoop on your phone and laptop.

You closed out of her contact and looked at the other messages. The next few that caught your eye were from your dad's mother, Rowena.

_“Tell your father and those boys of yours to leave me alone. I love you darling but I can’t have them always asking me for favors even when it involves you. - Regards”_

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, love was something she had no idea how to feel. Your dad often told you stories of when she would try to sell him for three pigs, but went on about how he was a handsome child worth more.

You looked at the next text from your loving grandma. _“Almost forgot to mention, I’ll be in Florida for the next few weeks. Figured I’d let you know so you can tell your father, I’d rather not talk to him right now. He’s still upset about the whole trying to kill him thing.”_

You just shook your head and thought to yourself. “Yeah I would be too, you may be a witch but you don’t have to act like a bitch.” You didn’t even bother responding to her and just closed the message.

You noticed majority of the few that were left from your dad, dear old dad always did love to check in but before you opened his you noticed one from Castiel. You couldn’t help but smile, he rarely ever called you let alone texted, normally he would try to call the boys.

 _“(Y/N), when will you be returning. I found some movies that I thought you might like, one I’ve actually happened to watch before. I think you would like what the pizza man does to the babysitter.”_ you had to fight yourself from laughing. Castiel was innocent and you loved him for that reason alone, hell you may be part demon but you always had a soft spot for him. You remembered Sam telling you about how Cas’ only experience with sex was that porno and the chick that killed him.

You just shook your head smiling and responded. _“We will be home in a few hours. Just, uh, don’t start watching that one without me. Okay?”_ You knew all too well it was porn, but you also knew how much you enjoyed watching it with others. You’d never admit to it though.

With how often Cas did things like this, especially in attempts to make you happy you couldn’t help but think about the first time you saw the blue eyed angel.

….

You woke up in the motel they were staying in after meeting the boys at the bar, they offered to let you stay with them due to the fact you were “Shit Faced”. You knew you could hold alcohol better than most but you needed to get an in with the boys, they loved a damsel in distress.

You faintly remember once you got to the motel they offered to let you wear their clothes, you almost refused but remembered you didn’t want to sleep in the tight ass dress you had on the night before. Which would explain the over sized green flannel you had on with only your panties on underneath.

“(Y/N), glad to see you’re awake,” you were sitting up at this point rubbing your eyes.

“I feel like death,” which wasn’t an understatement, you knew all too well how it felt to be on the brink of death. Never really understood how your body could heal the way it did, even after being stabbed in the heart with an angel blade, more than once.

Your eyes had barely adjusted when you felt a cold breeze next to you. “Who is this, Dean?”

“Her names (Y/N), thought you could tell being an angel and all,” he answered. He sounded far away, almost like he was outside but he was only on the other side of the room.

When you finally got your eyes fully adjusted you saw and man in a tan trench coat standing over you, he was tall much like the brothers but not as much. He put two fingers on your forehead and looked at you with a puzzled stare. “I can’t, I can’t even read her thoughts,” he slowly removed his hand and looked at you questioningly. It took you a moment before you could fully take him in, he was attractive. His messy raven black hair was brushed back and had slight volume to it. His eyes were a piercing blue that seemed to be even prettier than Deans emerald greens. His jaw was defined with light scruff and his lips were plump but almost chapped. “What are you?”

“Excuse me?” you stood up quickly, almost daring to get in his face. He was the angel your father had warned you about before letting you leave the confined space of your room, in hell. However, he did also make sure you were highly warded so you wouldn’t be detected. Looks like it worked just fine.

“I can’t read your thoughts and I can’t tell if you are human or not,” he tilted his head slightly to the right, squinting his eyes in your direction.

“Well sweetie, I promise you I’m nothing special,” you smiled innocently at him and reached up to pat his cheek. When your hand made contact with his skin you felt a light spark rush through your blood and quickly pulled away. You looked at your hand and then looked up to make eye-contact with the blue eyed angel. “I’m just a little ol’ hunter,” you shook your head and lifted the shirt you were wearing and pulled your panties down slightly to give him a look at your anti-possession tattoo. Luckily it was no longer red so it didn’t look fresh anymore. “See?”

His cheeks quickly flushed pink and he turned around quickly to face Dean. “So, are you going to tell me your name, oh angel of the lord.”

“My name is Castiel,” he began to walk to the other side of the room where Dean was sitting.

“It’s a pleasure Castiel,” you smiled sweetly in his direction and moved to the bathroom of the room. “And by the looks of it, you and Sam saw the tattoo last night while I was changing?” you looked to Dean before walking into the bathroom.

“Yeah sweetheart we did, figured you were a hunter like us,” he said before taking a long drink from his coffee.

“Well you figured right handsome. Did you also figure out I knew you weren’t real agents?” you were in the process of searching the bathroom for your discarded dress. “Stark and Banner, I mean really. I’m not dumb, Iron Man is one of my favorite Marvel characters. Not to mention I’ve seen the news, knew you were the Winchesters”

“So you’re a nerd too?” you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Some might say that,” you just shrugged to yourself when you finally found the dress hidden on the floor behind the door. “Helps make me more of a catch to a variety of people, men and women alike my friend.”

You shut the door softly before starting to unbutton the flannel shirt you had slept in. You heard a slight choke and then a chuckle from the other room. “Did you just say women?”

“You’ve never heard of someone being bisexual? It’s all about pleasure for me buddy,” you chuckled softly to yourself as you finished pulling off the flannel and putting your dress back on from the previous night.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and attempted to fix your hair when you heard the faint knock on a door. “Dammit Sammy, did you forget your key?” Dean huffed and got up from where he was sitting to go and open the door for his not so little brother.

Just as Dean opened the door for the hotel room you walked out of the bathroom. The brothers were talking quietly to themselves before turning to face you. Your eyes darted between the hazel and green eyes staring at you. “Everything okay boys?”

Sam cleared his throat while his eyes took in the way your dress hugged all the right places. “We have to take care of some things for the case we were working on, do you have anywhere you need to be? We can drop you off on the way.”

You smiled gently at the younger Winchester. “I appreciate the offer Sam, but I think I’d like to get to know your angel boy a little better if that’s alright,” you looked back to Castiel innocently.

Before Sam or Dean could protest Castiel spoke up, seeming almost excitable. “I can take her where she needs to go when she asks, I don’t mind staying.”

Sam and Dean glared at Castiel for one moment before looking to each other. It was Dean who spoke in his gruff, husky voice. “Yeah, okay. We left a card on the table for you (Y/N). Call us if you ever need anything,” he smirked slightly and you looked into his eyes, it almost looked as though his eyes were filled with lust and something else. Could it have been jealousy. No, not possible, he’s Dean freaking Winchester.

“Sure thing Dean-o,” you couldn’t help but smirk back at him. “Stay safe boys, I’m sure we’ll see more of each other real soon.”

You heard them both chuckle softly before turning to exit the room, finally leaving you alone with the angel. You couldn’t help but test your limits of the warding. If dad wanted you to stay with the Winchesters you had to get past their guard dog.

You turned to face the angel who had a serious look on his face, although you could see his eyes glancing up and down your body. “So angel boy, what do you do for fun?”

…

You were quickly brought out of your memories by a loud thump on the outside of the door and a deep voice. “YOU ABOUT DONE IN THERE?”

You shook your head and opened the door quickly. The man outside who had been knocking was taller and much wider than you. He had a full face and a dark salt and peppered beard. “All yours big boy.”

He scoffed and walked past you practically slamming the door shut. “YOU’RE WELCOME ASSHOLE,” you couldn’t help but yell and slam your hand against the door hard. The only reason you stopped was because you hear a soft crack. You realized you probably should break the door down just because he was an asshole, so you huffed again, kicked the door softly and walked back to the boys.

You were about halfway back to the impala when you heard your phone ring, recognizing the ringtone you quickly looked around to see if the boys had seen you and ran back to the other side of the gas station. Catching your breath before answering the call.

“Hello?” you kept your voice low incase someone could hear you.

“Hello Kitten,” you rolled your eyes at the pet name the british voice on the other line called you.

“What do you want Crowley?” you said irritatedly.

“Now is that anyway to talk to your father?” you could hear him making a tsk tsk tsk noise on the other end.

“Now is really not a good time, we just finished the hunt. Had my phone off and hadn’t had time to answer your texts. What do you need so urgently?” you rolled your eyes when you heard him chuckle.

“Can’t I just check in with my favorite person to make sure she’s alright, what kind of father do you take me for (Y/N)?”

“The kind that used to be crossroads demon.”

“Right, anywho. I just wanted to check to make sure the boys don’t suspect what you are, I heard about the little incident with the vampires, love,” his voice sounded sincere.

“No, but even if any of them did. Dean didn’t seem to mind last night.” you smirked slightly remembering the events of the night before in the hotel room.

“Oh yes, almost forgot that squirrel was the one you decided to bed with. You realize we once had a bromance, it’s quite awkward for me.” you could almost hear the disgust in his voice.

“Well for starters, Dean was a demon then and now he’s not. He may still have the mark which makes him more of an asshole, but that’s beyond my point. Human Dean and you never had an actual friendship… But who knows, maybe I’m just fucking him out of spite to piss you off,” you chuckled softly.

The was silence for a minute before you heard a sigh and a soft laugh on the other end. “You are your father's daughter.”

“You taught me so well, but anyways I’m fine. They’re fine and we’re on our way home, I’ll text you when I’m out of sight from the boys. Let me know if you have any other things you need taken care of in the meantime,” you looked around your surroundings before making your way back to the front of the gas station, knowing the conversation was almost over.

“Will do my pet, stay safe.. I love you,” you could hear him faintly say the last part.

You shook your head and giggled slightly at his awkwardness. “I love you too, Daddy. Bye.” you quickly hung up when you saw Dean standing next to the impala looking at you.

You looked around but didn’t see Sam anywhere, but as you got closer to the impala and Dean you felt a strong hand touch your shoulder, making you jump.

“JESUS FUCK,” you turned around quickly with your hand over your heart and saw the 6’4 moose standing in front of you hunched over laughing. “You ass.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), really,” he stood straight slowly, looking down at you trying not to start laughing again.

You glared at him so hard that if looks could kill, Sam would have died right then and there. “It’s not okay, one bit.”

He chuckled softly and leaned down so his lips were only about an inch from your ear, you could feel his warm breathe against your neck and if made chills run down your spine. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise,” his voice was husky and thick. It almost sound as though it was laced with lust. “Also, whoever your Daddy is, he’s a lucky guy.”

Before you had any time to process what Sam had said he was in the passenger seat of the impala, smirking at you. You must have looked as confused as you felt when you looked over at Dean, who looked just as dumbfounded as you. He shook it off quickly though, not knowing truly what his little brother had said to you. “Come on (Y/N/N), let’s go.”

As you walked over to get into the backseat of the car you couldn’t help but get lost in thought. Did Sam really just say that? Did he hear your conversation with Crowley or just that last part? Would Dean be upset if he knew Sam had said that to you, would he be jealous?

You shook your head quickly as you slid into the backseat and watched Dean start his baby. You had to know what Sam meant, just not with Dean around. Dean could get upset and hurt Sam for talking to you like that, but what if worse then that, he simply didn’t care. What if you were just an easy lay to him? No that couldn’t be the case, could it? You and Dean had been only sleeping with each other for the last 8 months, at least you were only with him. Were you only a piece of ass to him? So many questions you had to get an answer to.

You sighed and leaned against the window of the back seat and stared into the sky. You just hoped what you thought wasn’t true, you knew if he hurt you, you wouldn’t be able to control the demon inside anymore. It made you wonder, what made it so easy to fight it before you met the Winchesters. You needed the truth.

You needed to know who your real mother and father were, even if it meant hurting Crowley. You needed to know how to fight the urges that just kept growing. The blood lust, the anger, it all kept growing. You needed to know why it was getting worse the longer you held it in.

You needed to know what truly made you such an abomination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry it's taken a little longer for me to finish chapter 3 then I wanted. I hope it's alright, I'm trying to build up the relationships between the three boys and also help build more back story for our reader. let me know what you guys think


	4. Sexual Tension is a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Dean misreads a situation and how do you handle yourself when you see what he did in retaliation? You both can be pretty stupid with your emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst, Fluff, and smut await you. The plot thickens.... I know it's long but please stay with me.

Your POV:

It took another 3 hours to get back to the bunker, totaling a 7 hour drive from where the hunt had taken place to home. You couldn’t wait to get back into your own clothes after taking a hot shower, maybe relieving some stress yourself. Especially after you encounter with Sam at the gas station.

When the impala finally pulled into the garage you were out the door before it was even in park. “DIBS ON SHOWER FIRST,” you chuckled and gave them both the finger while you entered the bunker to run to your room.

It only took you a few minutes to make it to your room and as soon as you opened the door you saw your blue eyed angel sitting on the bed with a laptop. You couldn’t help but smirk at him and walk over to your dresser. “Heya Cassie,” you opened your top drawer in search for a pair of panties. 

“Welcome home, (Y/N),” he glanced your way slightly and then looked back to the screen on the computer. “Bees are so fascinating don’t you think?”

You shook your head and laughed softly. “You and those damn documentaries,” you turned your attention back on the drawer you were searching through to find your black cotton panties. You needed comfort more than confidence right now. “I’m going to take a long hot shower before we watch any of those movies, okay?” you quirked your eyebrow waiting for a response.

“That is fine, I can continue watching this film about how honey is really made,” you hummed your response and threw your panties to the bed when you found them and continued to your next drawer to find a shirt. You were so preoccupied you didn’t realize that Castiel had been watching you intently, taking in your body as you swung your hips back and forth trying to make up your mind.

You finally decided on a long black shirt that normally would sit just above your knees, covering what it needed to. You grabbed it and quickly shut the drawer turning to face Cas, who looked almost guiltily at you. “Whatcha think Cas, pants or no pants tonight?” you giggled as his eyes shot open wider. You never really minded changing or being around Cas in minimal clothing, he never really showed an attraction to you nor did seem to mind.

“Whatever you think will be most comforting to you, (Y/N),” he quickly looked back to the screen to continue watching his documentary.

“Alrighty, thanks for the input Cassie,” you walked over to him to gather your panties you had previously thrown on the bed. “I’ll be back soon, don’t start that pizza man movie without me,” you shot him a quick grin and kissed his cheek, accidentally hitting the corner of his lip. You had felt a spark on your mouth but quickly ignored it and left the room.

You walked quickly to the shower room and shut the door, not caring whether or not it was locked. You looked up into the mirror and stared at your reflection. “What the hell is going on today, first Sam said something almost defiantly and I could swear Cas was staring at me, almost hungrily,” you said to yourself and shook your head. It was all just your imagination, right?

You sighed and started to undress. As you got the shirt off and unhooked your bra, having a feeling as though you could breathe again, you remembered the radio you had put in the bathroom. You decided music may help your mood too.

You quickly turned on the radio and went over to turn on the shower, you had the radio on so loud you didn’t even hear the door open and shut.

When the shower was to your liking you pulled down Sam's sweatpants you had been wearing and got in. Just as you thought you heard a footstep the radio changed songs and you were instantly back to paying attention to your shower, singing along with whatever you could.

As you washed soap from your hair you had an uneasy feeling that you were being watched, but you quickly dismissed it as paranoia.

 

Dean POV:

Dean had finally gotten to his own bedroom and flopped down on his bed with a loud huff, landing with his face in his pillow. Mumbling something about how great it was to come back to his own memory foam bed, it always seemed to do a great job of remembering him. 

He quickly let out a sigh and rolled over onto his side, staring at the empty spot on the bed. He could still smell you on the bedding and pillow. He couldn’t help but think about how much he enjoyed sharing the same bed with you after long nights of hunting and even longer nights of exploring your body. He wished he could man up and tell you how much you actually meant to him, but he knew he couldn’t. He had to keep you at arm's length in order to keep you safe. Sure you could handle yourself, better than any other hunter he had come in contact with, but he was poison. Anyone he openly loved died. He couldn’t lose you.

Dean quickly sat up and stretched, allowing him to crack his back and let out a content groan. He decided to keep being selfish, letting himself have you even if it wasn’t in the intimate way he wanted. Hell, he didn’t even know if you felt the same about him other than the physical attraction.

He knew you were beautiful, everyone knew you were for that matter. He’s seen how people look at you, even his damn brother and Cas looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. How he had ever gotten so lucky as to have been the one you chose to give yourself to he would never know. You practically knew everything about him and yet you still looked at him with innocence, almost as though what he’s done didn’t scare you.

Dean stood up and started to walk towards his door, he needed a drink in order to keep all of these feelings buried. All he wanted to do was take you in his arms, kiss you with enough passion to make your knees weak and tell you he loved you. He just couldn’t do it and yet he couldn’t end the late night booty calls with you.

Dean had exited his room and was making his way to the kitchen when he heard a door close behind him. He quickly turned and saw Sam exciting the shower room.

“What were you doing in there Sammy?” Dean raised his eyebrow, questioning his brother.

“I thought I left something in there, turns out I was wrong,” Sam quickly turned and walked the other direction to avoid any more confrontation with the older hunter.

Dean huffed and watched him walk away before quickly making his way over to the room his brother had just exited from. When he was about to open the door he was quickly taken aback by you quickly opening the door.

“DEAN!” you exclaimed loudly, clutching the fluffy white towel you had draped around your body with one hand and holding a black shirt in the other. “Jesus Christ, you scared the crap outta me,” you quickly hit him with your shirt laughing. Your (Y/H/C) was still damp and was sticking to your face and neck. “Wait a second, are you what I heard while I was showering? You know if you wanted a quickie in the shower all you would have to do is ask, sweet cheeks,” you winked and pushed past him to go back to your room.

“What do you mean you heard something?” Dean quickly followed behind him, feeling his chest ache with something he was all too familiar with. Jealousy.

“Hmm, maybe I was just being paranoid,” he looked at you questioningly even though your back was turned to him and you couldn’t see him. “Coulda swore I heard footsteps over my music, guess I was wrong if it wasn’t you trying to be a perv. 

Dean stopped walking and clenched his fists at his side. He knew instantly what you heard. Sam had been watching you shower. He was so drawn by his anger he barely heard you talking to him. “As much as I love talking to you in just a towel and panties I have a date with my favorite angel and a stack of movies. Our little play date I promised is gonna have to wait handsome,” he looked up at you in time to see you give him a suggestive smirk before walking into your bedroom and shut the door.

Dean growled softly and started walking to his original destination, the kitchen. He would just have to confront Sam later, when the mark wasn’t burning as hot.

When Dean finally got to the kitchen he knew instantly he needed something stronger than a simple beer. He cracked open a bottle of whiskey and sat down at the table.

...

Dean didn’t know what time is was when he finally decided to go back to his room to turn in for the night, he just knew he was good and drunk.

He ran his hand through his hair as he made his way down the hallway to his room, only stopping when he heard something off. The sound seemed to have been coming from your room, he just shrugged and started walking again only to stop when he was right outside your door. Then he heard it again.

There was moans coming from the other side. He quickly shrugged it off, figuring it was just a scene from the movie you and Castiel had been watching. When he was about to start walking away again he heard a louder moan and then a scream. He instantly knew the scream was yours. The next thing he heard made his blood boil.

“CASTIEL!”

 

Your POV:

You had simply just been enjoying watching the porno with Cas when a very intense scene had come on. Making you blush brightly. 

“(Y/N), are you blushing?” Castiel looked at you with his head tilted to the side.

“What!?! No, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just hot it all,” you chuckled and fanned your face with your hand.

“I know you’re lying, why are you blushing? Is the pizza man slapping the babysitters rearend making you uncomfortable?” he looked at you more seriously, squinting his eyes slightly.

You looked down to your lap where you were sitting with your legs crossed. “No Cas, it’s not making me uncomfortable at all. I’m just hot,” you chucked softly. You weren’t exactly lying, you just weren’t exactly telling the truth either. How were you supposed to explain to an angel that it was turning you on.

“(Y/N),” Castiel said sternly. “Just tell me, or I’ll simply make you,” he looked at you with a deviant smirk spread on his lips.

“I’m telling you the truth Cas, I promise,” you looked him in the eye.

“Alright, you asked for it,” before you had a chance to respond Castiel had you pinned on your back on the bed. His legs were over your own in a straddling position on your thighs and his hands were on your side. “I’ll give you one more chance to surrender and tell me why you were blushing,” he looked down at you with a small smile that you could see in his eyes. When you looked into his eyes you could see his pupils dilate slightly and he almost looked hungry.

Before you could answer your breath caught in your throat as his hands ghosted over your sides through the thin shirt you were wearing. You could feel something tightening in your stomach as warmth spread throughout your body and before you could realize it your cheeks were an even brighter shade of red. “Cas…” you swallowed thickly and shook your head slightly. In the dim light from the laptop and your lamp on the nightstand you couldn’t help but notice the way it bounced off of his perfect skin. The way his lump, slightly chapped lips looked when he smiled down at you. How incredibly beautiful his baby blues were even while they were being swallowed by blackness. And who could forget his messy raven black hair that looked so tempting to run your hands through it.

He didn’t give you a chance to say anything else before he was grabbing at your sides, tickling you without mercy. You couldn’t help but letting out a scream while trying to push his hands away, all but begging him verbally to stop. “I warned you,” he growled slightly.

He kept moving his hands and you screamed out his name. “CASTIEL!” you kept trying to squirm out of his grasp when all of a sudden you heard a loud slam of a door. Castiel immediately removed his hands from your sides and sit up quickly, just before you heard the sound of glass shattering. Castiel glanced at you and then back at your door before quickly disappearing.

You huffed and pulled yourself up on your bed. “Well this can’t be good.”

...

It had been a few days since you had last saw or even heard from Castiel. You only assumed that it had something to do with his heavenly duties, if only you knew what happened after he left. Dean had also started getting distant, well more distant than normal. Normally by now he’d be trying to get into your pants, again. Your angel and the man you loved were both practically ignoring you, and you had to admit it hurt like a bitch. You never did understand why you felt human emotion considering what you were, half demon and all, but you did and you couldn’t stop it.

So here you were sitting in your hotel room that you would be sharing with both Sam and Dean while on this hunt. The dingy eggshell colored walls were stained with cigarette smoke. The gross puke brown colored carpet looked as though it had seen its fair share of stains. There were two queen sized beds in which you assumed you’d be sharing one with Dean. You just happened to take it upon yourself to claim the one closest to the door, you always felt safest near the exit, just incase you had to make a quick getaway. There was a little fridge in the corner of the room right next to the bathroom door. The small table in the opposite corner already had all of your notes for the hunt scoured across it and their duffel bags were sitting atop the two chairs. Yup, this place was a dump. At least the beds weren’t too stiff, nothing like Dean's memory foam one though.

You layed back on your bed and pulled your phone out of your pocket hoping you’d received some form of message from any of the boys. The only message was from Sam asking what you wanted to eat from the diner they had gone to when Dean got to antsy to sit and do more research on the case. A simple salt n’ burn was what they said but we still hadn’t figured out where the ghost had been buried to burn the bones.

_“Nothing, not hungry,”_ you sat your phone down on your chest and waited for it to beep with a response.

A few minutes passed until it finally beeped. You pulled it up from your chest and looked at the screen.

_“Are you sure? I haven’t seen you eat anything for a couple of days,”_ you couldn’t help but laugh softly, Sam was always the one who tried to look out for your health. Truth was you didn’t need to eat with what you were, of course you did occasionally to keep them of your back even if it wasn’t something you enjoyed.

_“Positive, I had some chips earlier,”_  you hated lying to him but you also needed him off your back.

_“Alright (Y/N), just don’t want you to pass out on us while we’re out hunting is all,”_ his response was almost instant.

You decided to tease him a little, just to make him feel better about the situation. _“Sammy, I’m fine. Really. Besides when did you pay attention to what I stuff into my mouth?”_ you couldn’t help chuckling a little at that.

While you were waiting for a reply you decided to get back to your research. You stood from the bed and went over to the table leaning against it, shaking your butt slightly while reading the spread out papers. You were so into the reading you didn’t even hear the door to the motel open and shut. You were lost in reading one of the obituaries you had missed when you heard someone clear their throat, causing you to jump slightly. 

When you turned around clutching your chest you were greeted by two distracted Winchesters. If you didn't know you were wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a black tank top you would’ve felt naked under their stare. “You know it’s not nice to sneak up on a girl like that boys,” you huffed slightly and ran your hand through your hair.

Dean just rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom, barely acknowledging your presence. You glanced towards the now closed bathroom door and then back up at the younger Winchester, raising one of your eyebrows at him in question. “Don’t even ask, he’s been like this the past few days, I’m sure he’ll mention what’s bothering him eventually,” he looked at you with those soft eyes you’ve come to love. “And (Y/N)?”

You looked down at your feet scratching the back of your neck, something you always did when you were uncomfortable. “Yeah?”

“Nice blue thong,” he smirked at you and took a few steps towards you, grazing his hand on your arm softly before walking past to the table.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the comment he made and quickly walked to the other side of the room. You didn’t realize that it your shirt had ridden up while you were bent over like that. ‘Great’ you thought, probably the reason behind Dean so rudely walking into the bathroom. Then again why did he have the right to be upset about anything, the man has barely said two words to you. He didn’t even argue with you when you brought a backpack with spare clothes like he normally did. He just gave you a side glance and continued to ignore you.

“Hey, (Y/N/N),” Sam said abruptly, dragging you out of your train of thought.

“Hmm,” you hummed your response while going and grabbing your hoodie from your bag.

“I think this is just what we needed to find the body,” he said while holding the paper you hadn’t finished reading above his head. “Says here the the ghost we’re hunting was buried on a farm about 10 miles from here, she was murdered and they dumped the body there. The family decided to just bury her where she lie I guess,” he shrugged setting the paper down, getting up to grab his jacket he had thrown on the bed he would be claiming for the night. 

“Well, let’s grab your brother and go,” you smiled at him while you slipped your hoodie over your head, not realizing you gave him a great view of your cleavage when you lifted up your arms.

He coughed, trying to clear his dry throat. “DEAN, LET’S GO,”

Dean quickly opened the bathroom door still completely dressed and walked straight for the door, opening it and running off to the impala. This was going to be a long night.

…

“DEAN,” you screamed trying to hit the ghost with your iron rod. “HURRY IT UP WILL YA SKIPPY,” you turned around just in time to be thrown across the field, hitting your back against a tree, hard.

“I’M TRYING, FUCK WOMAN,” Dean yelled back while he and Sam tried to pull out all of the remains from the grave.

You groaned in slight pain, pulling yourself up from the tree, thanking your dad you healed quickly. You luckily had moved away from the tree in time before the ghost hurled some sort of farming at your head. “WHY DO I ALWAYS GET GHOST DUTY YOU ASSHATS,” you quickly ran at the ghost hitting it with your iron bar quickly, making it disappear, giving you a short window before it would come back.

“BECAUSE I’M THE PRETTY ONE,” Dean yelled back while dumping the salt on the bones while Sam doused them in lighter fluid.

“I WAS BEING RHETORICAL YOU MORON,” you ran towards them, before you even got a chance to see it the ghost threw Dean away from the grave while moving towards Sam. “I GUESS YOU’RE NOT SO PRETTY ANYMORE,” you couldn’t help but laugh at him. He landed in a giant mud puddle face first and his ass was sticking up in the air.

You made it over to Sam in time to see him swing his iron at the ghost again causing it to disappear, giving you time to pull out your lighter and light the bones on fire.

You stood next to Sam out of breath watching the ghost become engrossed in flames. “You alright?” you huffed turning towards Sam.

“Yeah, are you? You really took a beating,” he looked you up and down placing a hand on your cheek.

“M’okay, just outta breath, the bitch was feisty,” you chuckled and smiled up at him, in which he quickly returned with a full dimpled smile.

“YEAH I’M OKAY TOO,” Dean yelled while pulling himself up from the ground covered in mud and grass.

You looked away from Sam and quickly made your way over to Dean. “Are you hurt?” You looked him over and placed your hands on his cheeks, holding his face while you looked him in the eye.

When you attempted to wipe the mud from his face he pushed your hands away roughly. “Just fine,” he replied through clenched teeth and shoved past you. “I need a drink.”

…

You sat a booth in a stuffy bar that happened to be next to the motel you had been staying at. You hands held your head while you looked down at your glass of whiskey. You couldn’t understand why Dean was being so cold to you, sure he was before but lately it was just too much. When you tried to sit at the booth with him he quickly got up and made his way to the bar and sat on a stool. Was he regretting everything that happened between the two of you? Fuck, why did he have to be so difficult, oh yeah he’s Dean fucking Winchester that’s why. 

“Hey, you alright?” you felt a hand on your shoulder and you quickly looked up into the familiar hazel eyes you loved.

“Yeah, Sam. At least, I think so,” you smiled at him but it obviously didn’t reach your eyes.

He quickly sat in the booth across from you and reached out to grab your hand softly. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“Not really,” you sighed as you felt him rub comforting circles across your palm.

“Well, you know I’m here any time you want to,” he gave you his signature dimpled grin and suddenly that's all you could think of.

You nodded. “I know,” you looked around the bar to see if you could find Dean but he wasn’t sitting at the stool he was a little bit ago. “Any idea where your moron brother went?” you looked back over to Sam.

“No idea, bathroom probably,” he shrugged and pulled his hand away from yours, almost immediately making you miss the warmth he offered.

“Probably,” you looked back down at your drink before taking a quick drink to finish it off. “I think I’m gonna head back to the motel, get some rest before the drive home tomorrow. Do you think I could share the bed with you tonight?” you looked at him before standing up.

“Of course (Y/N/N),” he stood up with you. “I’ll head over there soon, I’ll see if I can find Dean and let him know where we went as well as paying the tab,” he pulled you into a side hug.

“Thanks Sammy,” you smiled up at him.

“It’s no problem,” he leaned down and kissed the crown of your head quickly before letting you go. “Might be nice to cuddle with something that isn’t a pillow or my brother,”

“Now who said we would be cuddlin’, Winchester?” you smirked slightly and shook your head.

“That’s the only way you're sleepin’ in my bed (Y/L/N),” he chuckled.

“Fine, just be prepared for my cold feet,” you reached up and patted his cheek.

“I can deal with it,” he gave you a smile and winked before walking off to find Dean.

You just hopped sleeping in the bed with Sam wouldn’t upset Dean more.

...

It only took you about 5 minutes to walk back to the motel and your room. When you got closer to the door you could swear you heard a creaking noise and soft moans. You just pushed it aside, it was probably just coming from one of the other people staying here.

When you got to the door to your room and unlocked the door you weren’t prepared for what you were about to see.

You only got the door open halfway before you heard a grunt and a soft scream. Your instincts made you quickly reach for the gun you kept in your waistband, but when your eyes adjusted to the darkness of the motel room your hand quickly went from your gun to cover your mouth.

Dean was on the bed balls deep in a bottle blonde bimbo with big tits.  He was kissing her, something he never, not once did with you. You wanted to scream, cry, and shoot someone. You instantly realized neither of them had realized you opened the door, probably didn’t hear you over her moans.

You quickly shut the door and pressed your forehead against it. How could he? How could he do this to you? Sure you weren’t dating and never talked about being exclusive, but couldn’t he see how you felt. Obviously not.

You clenched your fists so hard your nails started to cut into your palms, you could feel the blackness taking over your eyes. No not now, you wouldn’t lose yourself because of him. You backed away from the door and started walking away from the room. You couldn’t control it anymore. You swing your fist into the first solid substance you could find, which was a door a few rooms away from yours. “GOD DAMN IT,” the punch was hard enough to break the door off the hinges. You took a deep breath, luckily no one was staying in that room, or else you’d have to explain how one punch took down a door.

 You quickly made your way to the impala, you weren’t sure why but Dean had parked it in the back of the parking lot, even though there were little to no other cars around. Then again after what you just witnessed you didn’t give a fuck about what he thought or did anymore. You just needed to calm down before Sam came back, he was probably still trying to find Dean.

When you made it to the impala you leaned back against the hood, even if it was Dean's baby, it always had ways of calming you down. You ran your hand through your hair and back down your face, trying to calm yourself down. ‘Control, you need to keep control.’ you kept saying to yourself in your mind.

You took a deep breath and held your palms to your face. You could feel the tears as they ran down your cheeks. “God damnit, you will not cry over that asshole.”

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” that sweet voice brought you back from the edge quickly. He always had a way of soothing you, without even trying.

“Yeah Sam, I’m alright,” you kept your hands over your eyes until they finally returned to their normal color.

“Why aren’t you in the room?” he came up to you, only standing about a foot away.

“Dean decided to bring back some company,” you sniffed softly, if he hadn’t been so close, he probably wouldn’t have heard it. “He’s in there fucking her right now,” you ran both hands up and through your hair.

Sam lent down slightly and put both hands on your cheeks, cupping your face. “Are you sure you’re okay? I know what you guys had wasn’t exactly a relationship, but he shouldn’t have done that,” he moved his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe away any missed tears. 

“It is what it is Sammy,” you smiled up at him softly. “I should’ve expected it to end sooner or later, you know. He never even kissed me,” you chuckled softly.

He pulled you into a tight hug, holding you to his chest tightly. “You know Deans an asshole, mostly due to the mark, but an asshole nonetheless,” he kissed your head softly.

“Yeah I guess so, I didn’t really get to know him too much before the mark, but I know he’s still good inside. Somewhere,” you smiled into his chest. “Hey Sam?”

“Hmm,” he hummed in response as he rubbed soothing circles into your back.

“You never answered my question in my text earlier,” you pulled away from him slightly took look him in the eye.

He looked down at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck, leaving his other hand resting on your waist. “You’ll laugh at me.”

“I promise I won’t, tell me please,” you put your hand on his cheek to draw his eyes back to you. You even gave him the best puppy dog eyes you possibly could.

“I like you (Y/N), I care about you and your well being,” Sam explained, sighing softly while leaning into your hand. “As for paying attention to what you stuff in your mouth, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you, among other things,” he let out a soft chuckle.

You leaned into him slightly, leaving only about 2 inches of space between your mouths. “What other things, Sammy?” you used the hand not on his cheek to move up his chest.

His eyes glanced down at your lips before making eye contact with you again, “I can’t help but wonder what your lips would feel like against my body,” he moved closer, his lips brushing against your cheek before whispering in your ear. “About how they’d feel wrapped around my cock while you suck me off. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you (Y/N), Dean’s an idiot for taking you for granted.”

You could feel the warmth burn through your body with need, Sam Winchester wanted you and you wanted him just as bad. You couldn’t think of anything more than the arousal that pooled between your legs and how badly it ached. You knew in the back of your mind this was wrong, you loved Dean, but he also just proved to you he didn’t feel like that about you.

You knew that if it weren’t for Sam right now you may have let the blackness inside consume you, you may not have been in love with him but you still did love him. Dean caused you to almost lose control, Sam helped wrangle it back, however the demon in you needed more. You needed more. You needed the release to ease yourself back to the ground, you needed control again.

You leaned back slightly looking up at Sam, his pupils were blown with lust and you knew he wanted it just as bad. You quickly grabbed the collar to his shirt and pulled him to you. You pressed your body against his tightly, ghosting your lips over his. “Then what’s stopping you?”

He didn’t waste another second before crashing his lips to yours in a hungry, needy kiss. One of your arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling him closer while the other grasped his hair tightly. His tongue ran across your bottom lip and you immediately opened your mouth granting him access. Your tongues battles for dominance in which you gladly gave to him, letting him run his tongue along the insides of your mouth.

One of his hands pressed into the small of your back firmly, keeping you tightly against him, while the other rested against your neck. When the need for air finally caught up to you, he pulled away slightly, breathing heavily. His beautiful hazel eyes almost completely consumed in the blacks of his pupils. “Are you sure (Y/N)?”

You nodded, breathing heavily. “Yes Sam, I want you,” you smiled up at him, showing your almost perfect teeth.

He ran his hand up into your hair and gripped it tightly, pulling your head back and exposing your neck. “Question is, where do I fuck you senseless baby girl?” he bit down on your neck sharply, kissing and licking the mark to sooth it.

“Well, the moron is in the room so why not use his precious baby?” you smirked, loving your idea to taint that assholes most prized possession, because let's face it you were beyond the point of caring anymore. All you wanted to do was feed your demons so you could keep them at bay, didn’t care where he fucked you into oblivion.

Sam smiled wickedly and chuckled. “I don’t have the keys, so where do you suggest? The hood?”

“Why not, it’s late. No cars have driven by in the past hour, not to mention we’re at the back of the parking lot. No one would notice,” you licked your bottom lip as you ran your hand across his broad shoulder. “Even if they did, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t enjoy the show.”

“You have no idea how sexy you are right now,” Sam pulled your hair again, nipping and licking your jaw.

You reached up and put your hand on the nape of his neck, quickly pulling him down to kiss you again. This was slower, more deliberate. By the time his tongue was back in your mouth, his hands were on the backs of your thighs. He quickly lifted you and set you on the hood of Baby.

You smiled against his lips and pulled him between your legs by his belt. “I know we can’t get completely naked, but there’s always next time,” you mumbled against him while you unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants.

He hummed in response pulling away from your lips to kiss and nip at your neck. You moved back a little to pull off your hoodie while he worked on unbuttoning and pulling off your jeans. You lifted your hips to make it easier and when you came back down you were greeted with the cold metal against your hot skin, but at that moment you just didn’t care.

Sam quickly pulled the straps to your tank top down so it could pool around your waist. He took a moment to gaze down at your almost naked form, you took it upon yourself to removed the straps of your black bra and pull the cups down to give him a better view.

He moved his hands up your sides and rested them just under your boobs. Your nipples hardened as the cool breeze blew against your skin. You closed your eyes and leaned back against the hood, which earned you a groan from Sam. “God, you’re fucking beautiful.”

Before you had a chance to respond and open your eyes he had started kissing down your collarbone to your left breast. Licking and nipping the sensitive skin around the nipple, avoiding the one place you wanted his mouth the most. You arched your back up to his touch as a soft moan left your lips.

He moved his hand to your right breast and started to knead it softly, rubbing his thumb across your nipple, causing another moan to fall from your lip. “Sam..” you couldn’t help the slip of his name when he finally took your nipple into his mouth sucking and biting it.

When your hand snaked its way into his hair and pulled slightly he groaned in response, the vibration causing more pleasure to work its way into your core.

Sam let go of your left nipple and kissed his way across the valley of your chest to your right, taking it into his mouth and running his tongue against it. You were so lost in the feeling of his mouth on your chest you didn’t notice his hand move lower until it pulled your little blue thong to the side.

He gently ran his finger along your slit, causing you to gasp at the sudden contact. “Mmm, already soaking baby girl,” he said before he ran his tongue from the center of your chest up to your neck. “Do you want me to fuck you with my big cock?”

You couldn’t help the whimper that left your lips when he slid a finger into your entrance and gently nudged your clit with his thumb. “Y-yes,” you also couldn’t help how wrecked your voice was.

When he pulled his finger out he quickly replaced adding another as well while he kissed up your jaw to your ear. “You’re so tight baby,” he whispered in your ear as he began scissoring his fingers inside of you.

You wrapped your arm around his neck, using the other to keep you steady on the hood. “Ugh, Sam. Take your pants off, please baby,” you said with a slight whine in your voice.

He nipped your jaw lightly and added a third finger inside of you, curving them into a come hither motion, immediately hitting the sweet spot inside of you. You couldn’t help the loud moan of his name slip your lips. He worked you quickly into an orgasm, what finally threw you over the edge completely was the sharp bite to your shoulder.

Sam worked you through your orgasm and used his other hand to keep you steady on the hood of the impala. When he finally pulled his hand out of you, you made quick work of sitting up and started tugging at his pants. “Please baby, need you inside of me.”

He grabbed both of your hands roughly and pushed them behind your back. “Eager much?” he chuckled while bringing the hand he used to finger you up to his lips, putting them into his mouth and humming, keeping your hands pinned behind you with the other. “You taste better than I could imagine. Next time I’m eating you out right.”

You groaned in response to him tasting you on his fingers. “Please Sam,” you whimpered softly.

He quickly crashed his lips back on yours again and used the hand not holding yours to push down his pants and boxers just enough to release his hard length. He pressed the head against your clothed pussy causing you to whimper against his lips.

Before you had time to react he tore your thong off of you in one quick movement with one hand and put them on the hood. “I’m keeping those,” he mumbled against your mouth when he released your hands. “You ready?”

“God, yes,” you moaned when you felt the head of his dick graze you swollen clit.

You moved one hand down between you and grasped him tightly, lining him up to your entrance, groaning at how big he was. ‘What was it with Winchesters and being so big’ you thought to yourself.

He slowly pushed himself into you, groaning as each inch made its way in. “Fuck, you’re so tight and wet baby girl,” he growled into your ear as he pulled one of your legs tightly against his hip.

“All for you Sam,” you moaned when he thrust the rest of the way into you. He let you adjust to his size for a moment before slowly pulling out, causing you to whimper softly as the loss of feeling him stretch you.

He licked up the pulse point on your neck before slamming back into you, causing you to scream softly. “You take my cock so good baby,” he continued slamming into you at an unforgivable pace.

You quickly wrapped one arm around his neck holding him close to you as he kept slamming into you. He quickly raised your leg higher on his waist, hitting your g-spot almost every time. You felt the coil in your stomach tighten, causing you to clench around him tightly.

“Fuck Sam,” you moaned out and moved your other hand into his hair, pulling it roughly, earning you a groan from him and an even harder thrust.

“Cum for me baby, I know you’re close. I wanna feel you cum on my cock,” he growled into your ear before biting the pulse point on your neck. His thrusts started to falter rhythm and you knew he was close too. 

“Cum with me,” you moaned out throwing your head back.

He grunted in response. A few more thrusts and you could feel his hot release inside of you, triggering your own orgasm. “SAM!” you screamed.

 

Dean POV:

Dean laid back on the motel bed with his arm over his face just listening to the sounds of clothes shuffling and feet moving around the room. He had no idea why he did what he did, he just knew that he was angry and when the first person who had a nice face and a decent pair of tits flirted with him, he made the choice to fuck his anger out. He just had to go and ruin the moment when he moaned your name, he knew the blonde woman told him her name but the only thing he could think of was you. Why did he have to be in love with you, after what he heard in your room with Cas he knew you didn’t feel the same way. So, why were you still the only thing he could think of even when he was balls deep inside another woman.

“You know, whoever that (Y/N) is, you might want to tell her how you feel,” the blonde said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

He moved his arm away from his face and sat up in the bed. The only thing covering his still naked body being the then sheet of the bed. “Look, I’m sorry about that. I jus-.”

The blonde quickly cut him off. “ Look, Dean was it? You don’t have to explain yourself, in all honesty I didn’t care much because you were a good lay,” she smiled at him genuinely.

“But?” he raised his eyebrow in question.

“If you want my advice, don’t push away a good thing. You moaning her name practically the entire time just showed you didn’t really want me or anyone else for that matter,” she had already finished dressing and was putting on her shoes at this point. “Take it from someone who knows, I pushed away a good man and now I’m just doing the one night stand thing so I don’t get caught up in feelings again,” she stood quickly and slung her bag over her shoulder. “I’m guessing the fact you were fucking me you guys aren’t a thing currently, don’t lose the chance honey. Life is short, take any chance you can get, especially if you love her.”

“Uh-” he ran his hand through his hair and looked down at his lap. Before he could say anything else she interrupted him again.

“If by chance if doesn’t work out though and you happen to be in town again. Look me up,” she winked at him before quickly exiting the room.

He laid back down on the bed with a thump and groaned to himself. “FUCK,” he yelled. If a chick from the bar could tell how he felt before he came to accept it, maybe she was right. You were perfect and all he was doing as pushing you away. You weren’t exclusive or anything when he heard what he did so maybe if he told you how he felt, you felt the same way. Be damned if you fucked Cas, who wouldn’t want to be with you. You were a fucking goddess.

Dean sat up quickly and got out of bed. “Dammit,” he stood quickly and looked for his clothes that had been thrown around the room. He needed to talk to you about how he felt before he lost you for good.

He found his jeans and t-shirt and decided he would just go commando, hopefully you were still at the bar with Sam. He sighed and quickly slipped his boots on before grabbing the keys to Baby and his wallet, just in case you weren’t there.

He rushed out the door, grabbing his jacket and phone that was resting by it. His stomach was in knots, there was no denying he was nervous. 

As he made his way down the hallway with his head down to stare at the ground trying to think about what he was going to say to you. That’s when he heard hushed voices coming from a little further down the hallway.

“How the fuck did the door end up like this?” a man with a baseball hat whisper yelled.

“How am I supposed to know? I was doing rounds when I noticed it,” a woman dressed in a maids uniform answered.

Dean couldn’t help but stop behind them to see what they were talking about. Luckily they were both shorter then him so he could see past. The solid oak door that would normally match the others were hanging just barely off the hinges. It was splintered and almost broken in half. Whatever did that must have had decent strength, if he had tried to do that it would’ve taken him a few good kicks, on a good day. It was a good thing no one occupied the room or else they may have had a heart attack. 

It took him a moment to compose himself before quickly making his way down the rest of the hallway and down the stairs to the parking lot. ‘Maybe it was something of the supernatural sorts that broke the door’ he thought to himself and shook his head. If it had been then it would’ve been the door to their room that had been smashed because most things that hunted them were smart enough to go to the right room. “Probably just some domestic,” he chuckled to himself as he made his way to the bar.

As he was about to cross the street to the bar he heard a grunt followed by a moan. He looked around quickly trying to place where the sounds had been coming from. “What the hell?” he quickly reached to his waistband for his gun only just now realizing he had left it in the hotel room. “Fuck.”

He turned back towards the parking lot and began walking back quietly. Maybe he could make it to baby to grab a weapon if it was a monster. The closer he got to the car however the noises grew louder.

He attempted to keep in the shadows as best he could as he moved closer. That’s when he saw Sam standing next to the hood of the impala with his pants around his thighs and legs around his waist.

He inwardly groaned to himself and whispered quietly. “Fucking gross, Sam,” he had to keep himself from gagging as he watched his little brother plow into whoever he picked up from the bar. ‘Wait, if Sam’s here where’s (Y/-’ his thoughts were cut short when he heard your voice.

“Fuck Sam,” Dean instantly felt his heart drop. You were fucking his brother. First Cas, and now Sam.

He almost felt like crying with how much it hurt, then again he was just having sex with some blonde he just met. His brother though, that was low.

Dean began walking away from the impala. He needed a drink, or ten. You were fucking his brother, on his goddamn car. He didn’t even realize it when he made it back over to the bar, the only thing that brought him back to reality was when he heard you scream.

“SAM!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading this, I'm sorry with the inconsistent posting. I hope you enjoyed this long chapter though! Feedback is always welcome.


	5. Daddy Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little one on one time with your father and you find out some juicy information about your past. No biggy, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to post this chapter, I just wanted to make sure it flowed the way I wanted it to. I hope you enjoy it!

“Dad!” you yelled as you walked into an abandoned house you’d been staying in the past few days. It had been about a week since your encounter with Sam and decided it best you took some time to yourself. For whatever reason the brothers had been avoiding each other and whenever you entered the room both of them immediately left.

Since they had been ignoring, you decided to get away and spend time with your beloved father while you could, not that they’d notice your absence anyways. That’s what brought you to a run down farmhouse in the middle of Iowa. It had quickly become your home away from home, the only place you could easily see your father without worry your cover would be blown. 

“Hello darling,” you jumped where you stood. “Sorry pet, didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Damnit Crowley, haven’t you learned not to sneak up on me like that,” you basically yelled at him, holding your hand to your chest. The only time you ever used his name was around the boys or when you were pissed.

“Now come on, love. Is that anyway to talk to the man who raised you?” he began to walk towards you with his arms open.

You quickly embraced him tightly. “Sorry Daddy,” you mumbled into his chest.

“Now that’s better. I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner, you know being the King of Hell is one hell of a job. I just couldn’t get away any quicker I’m afraid,” he pulled away a bit and looked down at you with a small smile on his face. “I have missed you though, the last time we got time together was with those morons around.”

“S’okay Daddy,” you chuckled at his pun and gave him a peck on the cheek. “It is your fault though you know, you’re the one who made me spy on them,” you released him and made your way to an old couch in the corner of the room that had definitely seen better days.

“Yes, yes I know. Speaking of which have any of them given you any problems?” he raised his eyebrow at you in question while sitting down at the other end of the sofa.

“No more than usual, although there has been somethings that have happened since we last spoke,” you crossed your legs and rested your hands in your lap.

“Such as?”

“Well, Dean has been distant and I walked in on him sleeping with some bottle blonde in our motel room,” you sighed softly, looking down at your hands.

“HE WHAT?!” Crowley yelled, his face turning a bright red in anger.

“Daddy, s’okay. You know how I feel about him but he doesn’t, there’s more though,” you began to play with your nails.

He took a deep breath and leaned towards you to place a hand over yours. “Go on, I’m alright. But just so you know, squirrel is a damn moron. Yes I sent you to them for my own gain but I hate to see you hurt love.”

“I know Daddy,” you looked up at him and grabbed his hand softly. “Anyways, after I left the room I was angry. I started to lose control, punched a solid oak door and took it off its hinges. Almost went and did bad things to his baby,” you laughed softly.

“Why didn’t you? He would’ve damn well deserved it, I mean what made him think it was okay to sleep with that bitch,” he said trying to bite back a growl.

“Beats me and I didn’t because no matter how angry I am at him, I love that car, but,” you paused.

“But what?” he squeezed your hand gently.

“Sam came to me when I was trying to calm down and one thing led to another. We uh- we had sex on the hood of his car,” you looked back down at your hands not wanting to see how he would react.

You definitely didn’t expect his response. “You little minx, if I didn’t know you weren’t I’d think you were my own blood. Fucking his brother on his car, that’s amazing,” he started laughing.

You looked up at him and brought the corner of your lips into a smirk. “I do have to admit, I had no idea Sam could be so, well, forceful. However, that’s not really what I wanted to talk about,” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Then what did you want to talk to me about my dear?” he moved one of his hands to his face to wipe a tear that had escaped while he was laughing.

“I um,” you took a deep breathe while you paused. “I wanted to know about my biological parents. I’ve been having a harder time controlling the demonic piece of me and I feel like if I knew more about them maybe it would get easier.”

Crowley let out a deep sigh. “Well, I should’ve seen this coming, after all you are quite old. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t ask sooner.”

“Well after a few hundreds of years, I’m finally curious,” you chuckled softly and looked up at your father, waiting for him to answer you.

“Well what exactly would you like to know?” he sat back against the couch and straightened his expensive suit jacket. You could never understand why he always chose to wear something so fancy, even when you were young. You honestly couldn’t remember how old you really were, you just knew you stopped ageing when your body was around 25.

“Well I know one of them had to be a demon, but who were they? I mean how did you know them, I guess tell me everything,” you shuffled in your seat a bit to make yourself more comfortable.

“Well I guess I’ll start with the beginning. Your mother was a demon. That demon was a knight of hell,” he paused wiping his hand across his face. “I’m not exactly sure why they decided to conceive you, but what came of it was the best thing in my life,” he sat forward on the couch resting his forearms on his knees.

“You’re a sap, you know that?” you giggled softly and pushed his shoulder. “So my mother was a knight of hell, where does that leave my father? Well my biological father.”

“I never actually had the pleasure of meeting him, all I know was what your mother told me. He was a trickster, the trickster in fact,” he looked up into your eyes.

“So I have demon and trickster blood in me, lovely,” you let out a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. “You told me once they were both dead, is that still the truth?”

“Unfortunately it is my dear. Your mother was killed by Cain when he still held the mark, although it is much more complicated than that,” he sighed and looked forward.

“What do you mean?” you leaned forward in attempt to get him to look at you.

“There are things that I promised not to tell you love, a deal if you will. I can’t break it. I’m sorry if my answers aren’t enough for you.”

“Daddy it’s okay,” you scooted over so you were sitting directly next to him and leaned your head on his shoulder.

He turned his head and kissed the crown of yours. “Anyways, your mother actually held the mark before Cain did. When Lucifer himself created the knights, she was his first. However, she rebelled and became pregnant with you when she met the trickster. Cain didn’t just take on the mark for his brother, he took it over while your mother was pregnant in fear it could potentially kill you with the darkness it held. Lucifer knew what you were, a hybrid he could use to take the world by storm,” he sighed.

“That’s why when Lucifer was freed he came after us? He wanted to use me?” you grabbed his hand tightly.

“Yes, it was before you were ready to join the Winchesters. It’s the main reason I helped them, not that they’ll ever know that. They think it’s only because I wanted to take over hell, in reality I just wanted to keep my child safe. I’m not sure how Lucifer would have used you, all I know is that before Cain went dark due to the mark your mother made me promise to keep you safe from him and everything else. You’re warded against just about everything, that’s why Castiel doesn’t know what you are,” he squeezed your hand softly.

“Well that explains a lot. I always wondered exactly why he couldn’t see what I really was. Is that why you kept me separate from hell?”

“Yes. I couldn’t allow people to know I had a weakness love, that and I didn’t want people to know you could be used as a weapon,” he brought your hand to his face and kissed your knuckles softly. “You may not be physically mine but I love you as my own and I would never be able to attempt to use you like that. I’m sure you were wondering why I didn’t.”

“Actually, yeah. I was a little bit,” you pursed your lips in question but also glad he answered that before you had to ask. “So after you promised her you’d keep me safe, Cain killed her?”

“Yes, along with the other knights, except of course Abbadon. Squirrel can be thanked for that.”

“So because of the wardings, they didn’t recognize me?”

“Mhm, the only way anyone would be able to tell what you are is if you use your power around them. You’re still evolving you know, I only taught you what I could do myself,” he looked at you and smiled softly.

“So other then teleportation and telekinesis, I have other abilities?” you looked up at him with your eyebrow raised.

“Yes, unfortunately you’ll have to learn more about those on your own. You are far different from any cambion or nephilim.”

“Do you know what other powers I might gain?”

He just shrugged and intertwined his fingers with yours. “I’m afraid I don’t love, although when they may arise I would hate to be on the receiving end. Perhaps that’s another reason you feel yourself slipping.”

You sighed and rested your head against his arm. “Is there anything else you could tell me?”

“Unfortunately no, at least at this time. I’m sorry pet,” he said as he kissed your forehead.

“Well alright, I appreciate what you could tell me. Actually helps a lot, daddy,” you stood up from where you sat and looked down at him with a smile.

“Good, I should probably be off. I still have a few prisoners to torture,” he explained as he stood, looking at his watch.

“Alright, it was good seeing y-” before you could finish your sentence your phone went off alerting you someone had been calling you. “Hang on, don’t leave until I can say a proper goodbye.”

He nodded and you walked out of the room. You internally groaned when you noticed who it was calling you.

“Hello,” you practically groaned your greeting.

“(Y/N), where are you? We were getting ready to leave on a hunt and you weren’t in the bunker,” it was Sam and he sounded worried. You almost felt bad for leaving without telling anyone, almost. At the same time you figured they deserved it for practically ignoring you for a week. Speaking of they, you couldn’t help but wonder if Dean was worried too.

“I’ve been out doing..” you paused to think of a reason. “I’ve been doing some research of my own Sammy. Besides, didn’t think anyone who notice that I was gone considering you and your idiot brother have been giving me the cold shoulder. I figured with what happened between us you’d at least give me a fruit basket and a thank you card for have hot sex with you on your brothers car,” you couldn’t help the eye roll you gave at the last part of your sentence.

“(Y/N), look I know I shouldn’t have been acting like I was. I just.. I just felt a little weird I guess. Knowing what we did and then immediately pretending like it didn’t happen when Dean was around. Shit, you know how I am. I try to call my one night stands and ask them out, I’m just not used to acting like it’s nothing and I assumed that’s what you wanted. I’m sorry for seemingly ignoring you, I am. It’ll change, I promise,” he let out a sigh as he paused. “As for Dean, I don’t really know what his problem is. You’re not the only one he’s been ignoring. He talked to me for the first time in a week to just tell me he found a case, other then that he barely even looks at me.”

“I’m sorry Sam, I guess I didn’t think about how you would feel in this situation. I’ll be back soon, give me like thirty minutes and I’ll be home,” you responded to him softly.

“Alright, and (Y/N)?” he questioned.

“Yeah, Sammy?”

“Do you really want a fruit basket?” he chuckled.

“I mean, if you insist on getting me one. I would always settle for maybe figuring out if that was only a one time thing,” you could help but smile at his joke.

“God, I hope not,” you could hear the seriousness in his tone. “I still have my keepsake, kind of wanted to start a collection if that’s cool with you.”

You couldn’t help the giggle that left your lips. “We’ll see Sam. I’ll see you soon, try not to pop a nut thinking of it.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Be safe,” he sighed softly.

“Will do, bye Sammy.”

“Bye.”

You quickly hung up the phone and couldn’t get the smile to leave your face as you walked back into the room you had left your father in.

“Well, what did Moose want?” he stood where you left him with his hands in his coat pocket.

“We have a hunt. Looks like both of us have to get back to work,” you walked over to him and wrapped your arms tightly around him. “Be safe, daddy. I love you.”

He embraced you tightly and rested his head on top of yours. “You as well my pet. I love you too,” and with that he disappeared.

You looked around the empty room and sighed. Back to work.

...

You had snapped your fingers and immediately were transported back to where you had left your car. It was about 3 miles away from the bunker. You figured it’d look suspicious if you had just left without it but didn’t feel like driving all the way to your safe house.

You couldn’t help the toothy smile you had on your face when you walked up to your royal blue 1967 Mustang, you had named lightning. He was definitely a beauty and you named him because of how fast he was and the feeling you got while you drove him. Dean always made fun of you for it because he didn’t think anything could ever compare to his baby. Then again he never rode in him, or even had a chance to see him in action. Always having to take his baby on hunts.

You ran your hand over the roof of lightning and quickly used your key to unlock him and got in. When you put your key into the ignition and started him, you couldn’t stop the giggle that left your lips at the feeling of him vibrating underneath you.

When you finally shut your door and shifted lightning into drive, you pulled him out of his parking spot and sped off down the road to your home you shared with the boys. Not looking forward to it in the least bit.

...

When you finally pulled into the garage of the bunker you had a horrible feeling in your stomach, you just knew something bad was about to happen but couldn’t put your finger on what.

As you put lightning in park and shut him off, you looked around the garage in attempt to see if anyone had been waiting for you. Not seeing anyone you withdrew your keys from the ignition and got of the car.

“Home sweet home,” you couldn’t help but laugh at your own ironic joke.

You shoved your keys in your pocket that held your phone and started to make your way to the bunkers door that connected it to the garage. As you reached the door you couldn’t help but look to your right at your black beauty of a Harley. You promised yourself when you got back from your hunt you’d grab her and take a ride since it had been so long.

As you opened the door and made your way down the hallway, you made a note to yourself that everyone seemed eerily quiet. Normally by now you’d hear someone listening to music, TV, or bickering from the kitchen. Weird.

As you made it to your bedroom door, you heard a loud crash that sounded like glass.

“DAMN IT SAM, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? HUH?” you heard Dean yelling and could only assume he dropped his glass.

“WHAT DID I DO DEAN?” Sam yelled back defensively.

“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU FUCKING DID, YOU AND THAT WHORE!” Dean was almost to the point of screaming, and then you heard more glass breaking.

“DEAN CALM DOWN!” Sam sounded like he was struggling.

At this point your feet were moving without you realizing it and soon you were in the war room. Dean had Sam pinned down to the large table that held a map. His hand wrapped tightly around Sam's throat. You could seen the mark glowing red on his arm as it strained to keep Sam held down.

You couldn’t take watching it anymore, your fight or flight instinct kicking in. You could feel your (Y/E/C) turn black. You charged into the room and used your powers to fling Dean back, quickly running over to Sam who was now unconscious due to lack of air and gently moving his head into your lap.

“WHAT DID YOU DO DEAN?” you looked over to him as he picked himself of the ground.

“What are you?” he practically growled at you and reaching behind him to pull the first blade from his pants.

You quickly changed your eyes back to their normal color and looked up at him, but quickly moving your attention back to the unconscious younger Winchester in your lap. You gently slapped his cheek as a tear made its way down your cheek. “Sammy, please wake up.”

“I asked you a question,” Dean stated as he slowly made his way towards you. “WHAT ARE YOU?” he screamed at you.

“Dean please, calm down. Sammy’s hurt, the mark is turning you into something you aren’t. Please,” you pleaded as more tears made their way down your cheeks. You looked up at the man you had fallen in love with. “Please, Dean don’t do this,” you let Sam's head down gently and stood, walking towards him slowly. “Put the blade down Dean, please.”

You could see him take a deep breath and contemplate what you said to him. You reached out to him to attempt to calm him down but all it did was make it worse. You saw the far away look in his eyes before you saw him lifting his blade.

“DEAN NO!”  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or would like to potentially see something happen later on let me know! Just a heads up, there will be more Cassie time if you were wondering. 
> 
> The picture of the mustang is what I used to go off of for Lightning. Got the picture from google.
> 
> Also, sorry for the cliffhanger. 
> 
> FEEDBACK ALWAYS WELCOME!


	6. Losing Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean can be a real dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I was planning on having this done and up sooner but some unexpected complications came up with my family and I needed to be in the hospital with them. But without further adieu, chapter 6.

_ You could see him take a deep breath and contemplate what you said to him. You reached out to him to attempt to calm him down but all it did was make it worse. You saw the far away look in his eyes before you saw him lifting his blade.  _

_ “DEAN NO!”   _

You quickly caught his wrist and he looked at you in shock. When he attempted to break free of your grip, it only got tighter. “ENOUGH,” you yelled at him as you forcefully shoved him against a wall. You tightened your grip on his wrist until he finally released the first blade and you could see that he was still just as confused.

When you released him you quickly grabbed the blade off of the ground and backed away from him. “(Y/N),” he watched you as you moved, carefully making every move as he stepped away from the wall.

“Why did you do this? He’s your damn brother.” you looked back to Sam quickly to make sure he was still breathing, then moved your gaze back on the elder Winchester.

“Like you don’t know,” he scoffed and ran a hand through his hair. The mark still as red as it was when he held Sam down.

“No, I don’t know. Would you like to enlighten the class?” you glared at him with your arms crossed.

“Well that’s shocking, the town slut doesn’t know any of the juicy gossip,” he rolled his eyes at you.

“Excuse you? What did you just say to me Winchester?” you let your hands drop to your sides and kept your grip on the first blade tight. You could almost swear you felt it calling out to you. 

“What? Did I stutter or are you really that daft? I mean really,” he raised his eyebrow at you in question.

“Oh I fucking dare you to repeat yourself Dean-o,” you practically growled at him.

He smirked slightly. “Alright well where do I begin. How about the fact you're practically the town slut. Letting anyone with a dick inside you, just spreading your legs for any and everyone.”

“Oh you’re one to talk cupcake,” you narrowed your eyes at him and jabbed the blade in his direction. “A flannel wearing manwhore who can’t keep it in his own damn pants.”

“You really wanna fucking go there sweetheart, then let's go there. You want me to prove my point well how about the fact I saw you fucking my brother. MY GOD DAMN BLOOD!” he began to walk around you and raised his voice at the end of his sentence. Your eyes watching him the entire time. “I mean really, what kind of whore has sex on someone else's car. I get you didn’t have that piece of shit mustang with you but seriously, on my fucking car.”

“Dean, you need to calm down before you get yourself hurt,” you stated and gripped the blade tighter.

“I’m not the one who should be worried, sweetheart. You can’t do anything with MY blade, at least not without this on you,” he waved his arm with the mark at you. “Besides, didn’t anyone ever teach you not to play with knifes, you could get hurt little girl.”

You growled at him and could feel a dark energy running through your veins. “You don’t know what I’m capable of Winchester,” you growled at him and couldn’t keep the thoughts of that night out of your head. “You wanna know why I did it Dean-o?”

“Does it matter why, (Y/N)? You fucked my brother, of all people my brother,” he glared at you with his jaw clenched. “But please, enlighten me.”

“I saw you with someone else that night. You were…” you paused and looked down at your hand that was holding the blade.

“I was what sweetheart?” you looked back up at him and saw an evil smirk spread across his face.

“You were balls deep in some bar skank. That’s what you fucking asshole,” you took at step away from him as he took one towards you.

“So that gave you a right to fuck my brother, huh? First you take Cas into your clutches and then my baby brother. You didn’t think maybe fucking my best friend was bad enough?” the look in his eye was dangerously calm.

“What are you talking about?” you looked at him dumbfounded.

“I’m talking about the fact I heard you and Cas in your bedroom before the hunt. I HEARD YOU SCREAMING FOR HIM!” he yelled the last part and punched the war room table roughly.

“I don’t know what you’re even talking about Dean, I was never with Cas. What kind of person do you think I am?” you ran your hand through your hair and sighed deeply.

“Well, you’ve already proved you’re a fucking cock slut sweetheart,” he said while chuckling darkly. “You were always begging for me to fuck you, guess you got tired of me though, huh? Had to go looking for your fix somewhere else.”

You felt a tear run down your cheek at his words and whispered. “It was only ever you I wanted.”

“What was that? Can’t hear ya over there,” he started to walk towards you again. His steps were calculated and quick until he stood only a foot in front of you.

You looked up to look into his eyes. “It was only ever you Dean. I only wanted you.”

“Bullshit, I saw you,” he scoffed.

“Yeah, and? I saw you too. You started this Dean, you and you’re womanizer ways,” you squinted your eyes at him and snarled.

“Well, since that’s how you feel I should tell you something,” he leaned closer to you, positioning his lips right by your ear. “You meant nothing to me, she was a better lay than you ever were. She was hotter too.”

You quickly shoved him back away from you, never releasing your grip on the first blade. “You don’t mean that, you can’t mean that.”

“Oh but I do, you were there. You were easy, seems Sammy figured that out too,” he quickly regained his footing and charged you again. The next thing you knew your back was against the wall as he held you there with one hand on your neck and the other resting just above your head. “You’re easily replaceable and you were just my go to fuck toy, that’s the only reason I attacked Sam. He touched what was mine,” his grip tightened around your neck and your hand that wasn’t holding the blade was grasping it in attempt to regain air flow.

“Dean, you don’t mean that. It’s the mark, please stop,” you gasping for air. “Don’t make me hurt you.”

He laughed. “You seem to not realize the position you’re in.”

“Please,” you scratched at his hand.

“Why (Y/N)? Why should I believe anything you say?”

You looked down at his chest but quickly regret it as he moved you just enough to slam your head back against the wall. “Because,” you gasped out before looking back into his emerald green eyes that seemed to be glowing in anger. “Because I love you.”

You saw him searching your eyes and thought maybe he felt the same, but that thought quickly died as a smirk appeared on his sinful lips. “You’re pathetic sweetheart,” he chuckled and threw you to the floor, finally causing you to let got of the blade and make it skid across the floor away from you both. He walked to you and pushed you back to the ground with his foot when you tried getting up. “Nuh huh,” he leaned down and put his hand on your shoulder. “I want you out of here, you here me? You’re not welcome here anymore.”

“W-why?” you couldn’t help the way you stuttered.

“I don’t want a whore near my family,” he gripped your shoulder tightly and looked you dead in the eye. “You’re worthless and no one needs you, nor wants you here,” he pushed you back roughly and moved away towards the blade.

You stood quickly and glared at him. “Dean, you don’t mean that. Sam would never let you do this.”

“You want to bet? Or should I just forcefully remove you before he wakes up?” he said lightly as he bent to pick up the first blade. “Let’s face it sweetheart, no matter what you did with him, he’s my brother. He may not like it but he’ll agree to it eventually, after all he’s nothing without his big brother.”

“Dean..” you sighed and ran your hand across your mouth. “Think about this will you? You’re angry and the mark is just making it worse. Put the blade down and get your head out of your ass.”

Dean scoffed and started to twirl the blade in his hand as he stared at it. “This is all me (Y/N),” he smiled at you menacingly. “So if you won’t go on your own, maybe a little push will get you to.”

“What are you going to do?” you asked while watching him carefully.

“Well, there’s two ways I could. I could threaten to hurt Sammy,” he pointed the blade in the direction of the still unconscious younger Winchester. “Or I could push you to the point of not even wanting to be anywhere near here, after all you’re hiding something. Aren’t you sweetheart?” 

“You wouldn’t hurt your brother like that, you couldn’t,” you looked at Sam's unconscious face.

“What do you think I was doing before you rudely interrupted (Y/N)? You threw me without even touching me sweetheart, think I would just forget that? Or what about your newfound super strength. For fucks sake, what are you? Huh?” he snarled at you.

“Dean, it’s complicated. I’ll leave okay, just don’t hurt him,” you looked down at your feet.

“Oh no, I think I’d rather do something else at this point,” you looked up to see him walking towards you with the blade raised in an attack position.

“Dean, what are you doing?” you watched him carefully, moving away slowly.

“Figure two birds one stone, give you a reason to leave and maybe find out what you are. Because let’s face it, you’ve never been one to tell the truth,” he said with a hint of a smirk in his voice.

“Dean, don’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you,” you clenched your fists as you watched him move slowly closer to you.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m not the one who should worry,” he smiled evilly at you and began to advance quickly.

Just as he was about to hit you with the hilt of the blade you quickly moved out of the way, passing under his arm and kicking the back of his knee. Effectively knocking him down. “Stop this.”

“No,” he growled as he quickly got up and grabbed your arm, twisting it painfully behind your back. He raised the blade to your neck while keeping you against him tightly. “You brought this on yourself.”

You sighed and blinked as your eyes turned into their onyx black state. You brought your hand he wasn’t holding to grasp his hand holding the blade to your neck and gripped tightly. “Just remember, I asked you multiple times, pleaded even for you to stop,” you twisted his hand away from your neck and turned quickly to face him, staring him down with your black eyes.

“I fucking knew it,” he growled, trying to pull his hand from his grip.

You quickly pulled your hand from his grip while he was distracted and used it to take the blade out of his hand. As you touched the blade you felt a wave of power course through you and you pushed Dean away from you, effectively knocking him on his ass. Before he could get up you straddled his legs and pinned him down with your power so he couldn’t move.

“I told you,” you growled when you looked down into his eyes.

“Get off of me,” Dean began to struggle after regaining his composure.

You snarled and pressed the first blade against his neck. “I gave you so many chances, yet you never seemed to care. You don’t get that, do you? You shoot first and ask questions later.”

“Well, sweetheart, that’s because I just never cared about you,” he smirked at you.

You leaned down so your face was only an inch from his. “And see, I’d believe you, I would. However you’re so full of bullshit, I can see the stench lines coming from you.”

“Look who’s talking sweetheart,” he started to squirm more underneath you and you decided to release him from your demonic hold.

Tilting your head to the side and moved your lips close to his, only being a breath away and looked between his bright green eyes. “Oh believe me, I know I have my own stench pile sweet cheeks.”

You could feel his breath against your face as his eyes switched between watching yours and looking at your lips. The next thing you knew he flipped you over onto your back with him resting between your legs, trapping your arms above your head, effectively making your drop the blade. “Why’d you really do it (Y/N)?”

You looked into his eyes and sighed. “It’s complicated Dean, I’m sorry. I meant what I said.”

“Honey, there are no other men like me. You lied and continued to do so, how can you think that’s remotely okay? HUH?” he tightened his grip around your wrists, keeping them there with one hand and using the other to grip your hair.

You scoffed. “All of you lie, constantly. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite,” you quickly wrapped your legs around his waist. “Besides, it’s always to protect someone right? Less you know the better,” you attempted to pull your hands from his grip and squirmed your hips a bit, resulting in your core grinding against him.

“Who are you trying to protect sweetheart? You don’t have any family and you’re an abomination, no one wants you to protect them here,” he said through gritted teeth, you could feel the outline of his newly erect dick.

“Yeah well maybe if you would’ve let me, Kevin would be alive. Charlie wouldn’t have gotten fucking hurt, that’s all on you. You think I’m a monster fine, but think nice and hard Dean because you fucking know me. All of their pain, that’s on you for not trusting in my ability,” you quickly pushed him off of you with the grip you held on his hips, straddling him once more. “You don’t get it and you never will, all I’ve ever done has been for you, you dickbag.”

“I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO SHIT,” he reached up and grasped your neck in one hand, using the other to pull your head back with your hair.

Tears started to sting your cheeks again. “You never needed to,” you growled and flashed your eyes to black. You gripped the hand around your neck tightly and pulled it away, bending it back until you heard a snap and a cry of pain come from Dean.

You stood quickly as he gripped his broken wrist with his other hand. “YOU FUCKING BITCH,” he yelled and attempted to get up but you held him down with your powers.

“I tried to stop you, I tried to control myself but I can’t anymore Dean. YOU BROKE MY FUCKING HEART AND YOU DON’T CARE,” you stepped over him and placed the heel of your foot on his neck and applied light pressure. “You wanna know why I did it Dean? Because like you need to feed the mark, I needed to feed my demonic hungers. You used me and I fell in love with you, you fucking asshole. You pushed me into my breaking point and Sam was there. Sam has always cared, unlike you,” you applied more pressure to his neck causing him to gasp for air. “WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU? HUH?” you reached down and picked up the first blade from where it had been forgotten.

“You still can’t use that,” he gasped out, trying to breathe.

“You wanna bet your life on that,” you stared down at him with your onyx eyes and smirked evilly. You reached down and dragged the blade down his arm, effectively cutting through his green flannel he had worn and his skin. “You’ve always been pretty when you bleed, you know that?”

“What the hell?” he looked up at you and glanced back to the cut on his arm. “How?”

“It’s little too late to ask questions Dean-o,” you chuckled darkly and raised the blade to his cheek, creating a small cut.

“(Y/N),” a deep gravelly voice spoke from behind you.

When your turned around you were met with an angry Castiel. “What are you doing here Castiel?”

“I heard the distressed prayers from Dean,” he tilted his head to the side as his eyes took in your appearance head to toe. Your clothes had been dishevelled and your hair was all over the place, although you didn’t bother changing your eyes back to the normal (Y/E/C) the boys all loved. “What is going on?”

“He attacked Sam, and then went after me. I tried to keep my cool Castiel,” you looked back down at Dean, scowling at him for calling in Castiel.

“Your eyes are black (Y/N), yet you are not possessed,” he questioned as he slowly walked towards you.

You snarled at Dean. “You claim you're such a big man and yet you call in your pet to safe you,” you scoffed and moved away from him, keeping him pinned down with your powers. When you looked back at Castiel, he almost looked like a kick puppy by your words.

Castiel reached out slowly, showing you he meant you no harm. “Honeybee, put the blade down.”

You growled at him as he got closer, a part of you knew he was trying to calm you with the pet name he only used in private. “Castiel, the angel who fell from heaven for this piece of shit,” you looked back at Dean, holding the first blade tightly to your side. Castiel looked closely at your arm, eyebrows raising at the red mark beginning to slightly show. “You were always to trusting you know, he uses everyone. Me, you, even his own brother because he can’t admit to himself what he wants.”

Castiel continued to move until he was only about a foot in front of you and reached out slowly to touch your arm. “Honeybee, please let me help you,” he looked down at you with his crystal blue eyes, shimmering with concern and something else you couldn’t quite place.

You hand started to shake and you turned your head away from his. “I-I can’t,” you glared at Dean who was still lying helpless on the floor, trying to get up but in to much pain to really fight it.

“CAS, JUST KILL HER GODDAMN IT, SHE BROKE MY FUCKING WRIST!” Dean yelled, finally giving up fighting and resting his head back on the floor.

You snarled and went to lunge at him but Castiel quickly wrapped his arms around you tightly. “(Y/N), let go,” he urged as his grace poured over you, trying to calm you down.

“NO,” you screamed. “He hurt Sam, he hurt me. I can’t Cas, I just can’t,” you started crying and looked up to your angel, your black eyes glistening with the tears unshed.

Castiel reached down to your hand and grabbed the blade, struggling but eventually able to get it loose from your grip. “It’s over honeybee, it’s over,” he pressed his lips into your hair and whispered. “It’s over,” he dropped the blade to the floor and held your shaking figure before looking at Dean, his grace making his eyes shine brightly. “I’m taking her with me, I will return when I can to heal you, check over your brother until I return.”

You clung to Castiel tightly, trying to reign your inner demons enough to change your eyes, but it didn’t work. He rested his hand on your cheek and kissed your forehead softly. Your vision started to blur and the next thing felt was the familiar feeling of being transported before passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading along with me this far, feedback is always welcome as well as any suggestions you may have.


	7. Truth Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up to find yourself alone with the blue eyed angel. You finally come clean to him and as a result he tells you something you didn't know about yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the two week wait guys, hopefully this was worth it! Also, thank you to everyone who has been reading. OVER A THOUSAND HITS. You have no idea how much it means to me that all of you have been reading and hopefully enjoying this story. It's a journey that I'm going through while imagining it in my head so I'm with you guys. Thank you for being here with me!
> 
> I know I know, inconsistent length of chapters is my specialty. To explain myself it's mostly because I have a vision for each part and splitting them up for being to long would be a crime. I have the next couple of chapters planned out, just need to write them. Please don't hate me.

“Honeybee, wake up,” you heard a soft yet gruff voice whisper into your ear. You groaned softly and tried to open your eyes. A calloused, soft hand touched your cheek gently and brushed your hair from your face. “Please, (Y/N).” 

You groaned again in response and attempted to lift your hand to grasp whoever was touching you. Whoever it was quickly grabbed your hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it softly. You recognized the chapped, soft feel of their lips and started to place in your mind who it was. “Cas?” 

“Yes, honeybee, it is me,” he whispered again and looked directly down at you when you finally got the energy to open you eyes. 

“Wh-what happened?” you couldn’t help but be mesmerized by his baby blue eyes, even if they were clouded with concern and something else you couldn’t quite place. 

“I was hoping you could tell me,” he looked at you sternly and placed his other hand that had not been holding yours on your cheek. “How are you feeling?” 

“Like shit ran over,” you said coldly, pulling away from him slightly. “How long have I been out?” 

“About a day, I used my grace to help you sleep,” he moved to help you sit up. 

You raised your hand at him, a sign telling him that you had it and pulled yourself up into a sitting position. It took you a moment to gain your composure, but you eventually did and looked around where you had been laying down. “Where are we?” you moved your hand to cradle your head, which you just noticed felt like it was splitting in two. 

“A foreclosed house a few states away from the bunker,” Castiel said sternly. You felt a chuckle rise in your throat at his quick change in demeanor but choked it down. 

“Any particular reason why?” you asked as you looked around the room. It was pleasantly quaint and you couldn’t help but smile at his choice. The bed was a king with soft red cotton sheets and a blood red duvet. The room was decorated with a dark oak dresser with an attached mirror and matching night stands.

“You really don’t remember what happened yesterday?” he tilted his head to the side in question. 

“No,” you tilted your head, much like him, and looked at him questioningly. “Did something happen that I should remember?” 

Castiel moved his head downwards to look down at his own feet. “Perhaps it would be best to just forget it all together.” 

You quickly moved towards him and sat down at the edge of the bed. “Cassie, please. If I did something, tell me.” 

He nodded curtly. “I’m sure you won’t like what I tell you, but I also need to know something.” 

“Of course Castiel,” you took his hand and moved over so he could sit beside you on the bed. “Anything you need to know, I’ll tell you.” 

“It may be easier said, than done,” he said before sitting beside you.

“What do you mean?” you turned your body to face him, sitting on one of your legs in the process. 

He looked down at his hands before sighing and looking at you. “Yesterday, you and Dean were fighting.” 

“That’s not something new Cas,” you chuckled.

“No, not just with words as you may normally do. You broke his wrist (Y/N),” he looked back down at his hands. 

“What? No, I would never lay my hands on Dean,” you looked down at his hands to see him fiddling nervously with his fingers. “Even if he was being an asshole.” 

“Dean didn’t tell me the whole story so I was hoping you would have remembered,” he sighed. 

“What did he say?” you looked back up at his face, furrowing your brows. 

“He said that you attacked him for no reason,” he looked at you sadly. “He said you also attacked Sam.” 

“No, Castiel. You know me, I would never. I couldn’t hurt them,” you opened your eyes widely. 

“I know, that’s why I questioned Sam.”

“And what did he say happen?” you said while you ran a hand through your hair. 

“He said that the mark consumed Dean with rage and perhaps jealousy. Dean was the one who attacked him, but he was unconscious before you arrived,” he rested his hand on your knee in attempt to comfort you. 

“Dean attacked Sam and Dean claimed I did that,” you scoffed.

“Yes,” he nodded. “But what I saw was something I’m afraid I cannot over look.” 

“What did you see?” you moved your hand over his. 

“Before I used my grace to put you to sleep, you said that he attacked Sam and went after you. However, you had him pinned down and were using the first blade as a weapon,” he moved his other hand to his chin and rubbed his scruff. “A weapon that may only be used by whomever wears the mark. I have a hard time understanding why, or even how that is even possible.” 

“What?” you scrunched your face and looked down at the hand not holding his. “I don’t understand.” 

“That’s not all though,” he paused and removed his hand from yours. “Your eyes, they were black.” 

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise and you stood from the bed quickly. “No, I thought I had it under control,” you whispered as you paced around the room in front of where Castiel still sat. 

“What do you mean under control?” he stood slowly and deliberately. 

You sat on the ground in a heap, with your legs crossed and your head buried in your hands. “I’m so sorry,” you sobbed softly. 

“What are you talking about (Y/N)?” he asked as he moved closer to you, reaching out his arms to touch you but you quickly moved away from him and sat against a nearby wall. 

“I didn’t want to hurt anyone Cas,” you held back a sob which turned into a hiccup. “I just wanted to be normal, but he told me what I needed to do. I’m an abomination.” 

“Honeybee,” he crouched in front of you and rested his hands on your shoulders. “What do you mean? You are not an abomination.” 

You moved your hands away from your face too look him in the eye, flashing your eyes black as tears continued to stream down your face. “I’m so sorry.” 

His eye shot open wide and he moved back quickly. Standing up and pulling his angel blade from his coat sleeve he stood defensively. “What are you?” he demanded. “What have you done with (Y/N)?” 

You hiccuped and transformed your eyes back to normal before using the wall to help you stand. “I’m me Cas, I promise.” 

“Liar,” he rushed at you quickly and pinned you to the wall with his angel blade against your neck. “I will not ask you again. You are not a demon, or else I could see your real face. And yet your eyes turned black. What are you?” 

“Cassie,” you looked into his eyes with a doe eyed look. “I’m me. I just haven’t been one-hundred percent truthful with you,” you said with teary smile. 

He tilted his head and looked at you with a set scowl. “Then what is the truth?” 

“The truth is that,” you paused and looked down at the hilt of his blade. “I’m a hybrid and that blade won’t kill me.” 

He furrowed his brow and removed his blade from your neck. “What do you mean hybrid? A hybrid of what?” 

You moved your hand to rub your neck to try to comfort the irritated skin. “A knight of hell and a trickster.” 

“That’s not possible,” he snarled. “You’re lying.” 

“Castiel, I promise it’s the truth,” you moved to walk over to the bed but he quickly pushed you back into the wall. “You know, this is a start of a bad porno,” you huffed a dry laugh.

“The knights are all dead and not to mention he would never mate with a demon,” Castiel huffed. 

You rolled your eyes and shrugged. “Unless I was misinformed, my mother was a knight and my father was the trickster.” 

“Prove it,” he growled.

“And how do you suppose I do that. They’re both dead,” you sighed. 

“Well where did you learn this from?” he raised an eyebrow in question. 

“My adoptive father,” you answered back shortly.

“Who is?” he continued to pry. 

“Castiel, I already feel bad enough for everything, please just let it go,” you looked at him sincerely. 

He gripped your neck and slammed you against the wall again. “I was kind to you, I cared for you. You’ve done nothing but lie to me and the Winchesters. Answer my question.” 

“Crowley.” 

Castiel visibly swallowed and looked down. “Crowley?”

You nodded. “Yes, Crowley is my father.”

He released you and backed away thoughtfully. “Why would tell you all of this?” 

You looked down and rubbed your neck. “I asked him.” 

“He must be lying,” he huffed out. 

“Castiel, you need to understand something. I am not lying to you about what I know and he would never lie to me. You should also know that if you saw what I was capable of when I was trying to hurt Dean, I could’ve easily over powered you, but I didn’t,” you raised your hands to show you meant him no harm as you walked towards him.

“Tell me everything that he told you (Y/N),” he said sternly. 

You moved passed him slowly and sat back on the bed. “Only if you promise not to attack me again,” you glared at him. 

“Fine,” he growled. “But you need to tell me everything, including why you’ve been with the Winchesters for so long, being what you are.”

“It’s a deal,” you nodded and smiled weakly at him. “Where do you want me to start?” 

He moved to stand in front of you. “What he told you.” 

You looked down at your hands and sighed. “Alright, well I already told you about be the daughter of a knight of hell and the trickster.” 

He nodded. “Yes.” 

You clenched your hands together and nodded. “Well, I’m old Castiel, very old. My mother was pregnant with me while she held the mark.” 

“I thought Cain held the mark,” Castiel said sternly. 

“He did, but after my mother. He got her to transfer the mark to him because she was pregnant. From what I could understand, she had a humanity aspect to her,” you looked up at him. “I never got a chance to meet her though, Cain killed her after I was born, along with the other knights.”

“I don’t understand how that is possible,” Castiel said with a furrowed brow. 

You shrugged. “The body she was using as a meat suit could get pregnant I guess, I didn’t get a lot of information out of Crowley.” 

“And what of your father?” he asked. 

“The only thing he told me was he was a trickster, the trickster. Crowley never had a chance to meet him,” you looked up at him and smiled weakly. “Ever since I can remember Crowley has always been there for me, he’s kept me safe and made sure I’ve always had what I needed. I may not be his by nature but I am his daughter by choice.” 

“I guess that leads to my next question,” he said as he began to pace around the room. “Why can’t I tell what you are? If you’re this, abomination, why is it none of my brothers and sisters can tell either?” 

You furrowed your brows and looked down at your feet that were hanging off of the bed. “I’m warded against being detected, I’m not sure exactly how or why.” 

He had a thoughtful look on his face. “The only way that would be possible is if the trickster you’re talking about was, no it couldn’t be.” 

“What are you talking about?” you raised your eyebrow in his direction.

“Gabriel,” he looked you in the eye. 

“Who?” 

“The archangel Gabriel, who was also known as the trickster Loki,” he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. 

“Wait, are you saying my biological father is an angel?” you chuckled dryly. 

He looked at you seriously. “Yes, but I don’t understand why you are laughing.” 

You looked at him dumbfounded. “So what you’re saying is, my mother who was a demon, got knocked up by an angel. Oh but not just any angel, a freaking archangel,” you stood quickly and threw your hands in the air. “What the fuck!.” 

“So you really didn’t know that?” he looked at you with his head tilted. 

“No I didn’t know, Crowley didn’t tell me anything like that. Are you sure? It couldn’t just be some other guy playing trickster?” you looked at him with your arms finally back at your sides. 

“I’m positive I’m correct, the only way to know for sure is if I were to examine your soul,” he said very seriously. 

You squinted your eyes at him and scoffed. “I knew I was a demon Castiel, at least partly. I don’t understand this,” you started to pace. “If this is true, why have I never once felt a smidge of angelic grace like nephilim have?” 

“I assume he did something to trap your grace inside, perhaps protecting you from an unknown evil,” he shrugged. 

“So you think that’s a part of my warding?” you moved towards him. 

“I believe so, in masking your grace and warding you the rest of the way. Heaven wouldn’t be able to tell you were born,” he looked down at you. 

“And I think I know what the unknown evil is,” you looked at his feet as you got closer to him.

“Which is?”

“Lucifer,” you said breathlessly. “He was after me, I just assumed because of my already known powers. He was there, he would know about this. He knows what I am,” you turned away from him. “Oh god, I really am an abomination.” 

“Honeybee,” Castiel said in a soft tone. “I am sorry for my earlier actions, I just needed to know the truth.” 

You raised your hand back at him. “No, I get it. I do, this is just a lot more information to take in,” you took a deep breath and turned back to him. “I want you to examine my soul, maybe it’ll tell you more then I know.” 

“As you wish,” he smiled weakly. “But first I must know, why have you been with us for so long?”

You nodded and let out a short breath. “At first, because Crowley needed someone to watch them and protect their assets. However that was only about a month into it, I’ve grown to care for the Winchesters greatly as well as you Castiel.” 

“So you were spying for him?” he frowned at you. 

“That’s one way to put it, I didn’t really have a choice but to listen to him Cas. He raised me and gave me everything I have, he’s my family as much as the Winchesters are yours. If not more,” you shrugged at him. “But if you guys knew what I was, you would have tried to find a way to kill me. You would’ve thought I wasn’t genuinely me, just like a little bit ago.” 

Castiel nodded in understanding. “Just as long as you are not planning to hurt them with your father.” 

“Castiel, I would never do that,” you walked back over to him and grabbed his large hands in your own. “Despite what you may think, he gives me a choice. As long as I stay out of the way when it comes to demon hunts and any business he has, he allows me to do as I please. I help whenever I can Castiel, and if I can’t help with one thing then I try with another. I don’t always agree with my father's wishes. If I did, I would’ve let Dean hurt Sam further and I would have hurt you.” 

“I understand,” he squeezed your hands. “Now if I examine your soul it will be incredibly painful and I’m not sure what will happen with the grace you may possess.”

“Well,” you paused and moved your hands to unbuckle his belt, when his hands grabbed yours and gave you a confused look. 

“(Y/N), perhaps now is not the best time for this,” he stated.

“Calm down you sissy,” you looked at him sternly. “I need something to bite down on, so unless you take it off yourself then I’ll have to do it for you.” 

“Oh,” his face softened and he looked incredibly innocent. “Of course,” he paused and cleared his throat. “I will remove it, you just lay down and get comfortable.”    
  
“I doubt that even if I did get comfortable, it’s still going to hurt like a mother fucker,” you shrugged and moved to the bed to lay down anyways. 

“I believe that Sam has explained to you about this process, am I correct?” he asked as he removed his trench coat and suit jacket he always wore. 

“Yes, but maybe you should remind me,” you said while you laid back down on the bed. 

“In order to access your soul I have to put my hand in your chest,” he said sternly while moving over to the bed. While in the process of unbuttoning his shirt sleeves to roll them up. 

“If you wanted to touch my boobs Cassie, all you have to do is ask,” you said with a dry laugh. 

“Although I would most likely enjoy that, it is not that simple,” he said bluntly. 

“Oh, well we may have to look into that someday,” you continued to joke, trying not to let his comment get to you. 

“Perhaps,” he said gruffy as he unbuckled his best a slid it off. 

“You know, I was right in saying this was a bad porno in the making,” you chuckled. “Only I have far too many clothes on.” 

“Open,” he held his belt up in front of you mouth after he folded it in half. You nodded and opened your mouth to allow him to put it in. Biting down on it you began to mumble. “You need to be quiet so I can concentrate, I don’t want to hurt you more then already necessary,” you huffed an annoyed breath out of your nose but complied anyways. 

He let out a shaky breath and moved his hand above your torso. “Once I start, I cannot stop until I am finished. I’m sorry Honeybee,” he said before he began to press down just below your chest. You almost start laughing thinking that you barely even felt it, of course your relief was short lived. 

Castiel started to add pressure into the push of his hand, making you slightly uncomfortable. The more pressure he added the more it started to hurt. You felt your skin start to tear as his hand made it’s way inside of you, effectively making you scream out in pain. When your ribs felt like they were breaking you thought you couldn’t breathe, causing you to let out another scream, louder and more blood curdling the more pain you felt. You could almost swear you hear Castiel talking, maybe words of encouragement and attempts at comforting you. 

You continued screaming out in pain when you felt Castiel grasp something inside of your body. All at once the pain subsided and you felt like you were on cloud nine, apart of you thought maybe he had effectively killed you. You opened your eyes when you realized you had shut them and were greeted by a bright maroon light shining throughout the room. Moving your head to look around the room you noticed that Castiel was no longer by your side but across the room on the ground against the far wall. “CAS!” you yelled and immediately jumped from the bed, not caring how much pain you were previously in. 

As you got closer to his side you noticed the light was getting brighter. You started to hear a high pitched noise in your ears but chose to ignore it, at least until it got louder. Quickly covering your ears you fell to the ground on your knees. Yelling out in pain you clenched your eyes shut in attempt to get the noises to stop when they finally did. The pain from your head slowly vanished but instead travelled to your back. You didn’t even notice Castiel come to your side, you also didn’t notice that you were now in a fetal position with your back facing the ceiling. “(Y/N),” Castiel had resorted to screaming your name when you finally heard him. 

You looked up to find him in front of you, you smiled weakly at him when another wave of pain coursed through you. It felt like your spine was breaking and your skin was being ripped open by it. You let out another loud scream before collapsing fully on the ground, blacking out in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger.
> 
> Please any feedback or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and sticking with me this far!


	8. An Unexpected Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets an unexpected surprise, surprise being an unwanted guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you for sticking with me for yet another chapter of Abomination. I recently got a new job so I may not be able to work on this as much as normal. Fingers crossed.

You began to stir awake to the noise of birds chirping. Lifting your hand to your head with your eyes still closed you groaned loudly at the throbbing pain you felt throughout your body. Your body felt like it was hit by a truck.

When you opened your eyes you were shocked by the scene around you. You were sat against a tall willow tree that's branches were gently blowing with the breeze. Huffing out an annoyed breath you stood cautiously, warey of the pain you were still in. As you fully stood you realized you were in a [ long dark, maroon colored dress ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/32/c1/44/32c144150bd5630aa03837fec4e69155--red-maxi-dresses-ball-dresses.jpg), but not wearing any shoes. You furrowed your brow and turned around quickly to take in the rest of your surroundings.

All around you was a rich green meadow, as far as you could physically see. It stretched on for miles and you seemed to be at the center with the willow tree. You sighed loudly and turned back around to rest your back against the tree. “What the hell is going on?” you spoke to yourself.

“Well, sugarplum, we’re in your subconscious,” a smooth voice said from somewhere next to you.

You jumped back quickly and stood in a defensive stance at the sign of a threat, never hearing that voice before made you uneasy. “What the fuck,” you exclaimed and looked all around you only to find nothing.

“Now is that any way for a young lady like you to talk?” the mysterious voice asked.

Clenching your fists tightly at your sides you started to walk away from the tree out into the open field. “Show yourself,” you practically snarled. “I am in no mood for petty games.”

“Oh, but petty games are so much fun. They’re almost as fun as messing with those numbskull Winchesters,” the voice snickered.

Continuing to look around for a body attached the voice. “What do you want from me?”

“Figured I’d, you know, drop in. Say hi. Tell you how stupid it was of you to have that idiot breach your grace,” his carefree tone quickly changed to one of seriousness.

“I don’t understand,” you scrunched your face in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“You would think,” the voice paused when you felt a rush of air breeze past you, causing you to close your eyes on reflex.

You heard a rustle of wings near you before you reopened your eyes. “Think what?”

A man of about average height now stood in front of you. He had chocolate brown hair that was at about a medium length and whiskey brown eyes to match. His build was soft but still strong. “You would think given who your parents are, you’d have figured it out by now. I guess you’ve just been hanging out with those flannel wearing idiots and my baby brother to long.”

You tilted your head and looked at him more carefully. Your (Y/E/C) started to adjust until you could see six large golden wings behind the man stood in front of you. Stumbling back at the sudden change you fell backwards and landed in the soft grass. “I don’t understand.”

“I should probably explain then,” he snapped his fingers and you were quickly transported into a new location.

Looking around your new surrounding you were shocked to find yourself in a dingy motel room. The walls a rusted yellow with soft brown stains. A queen sized bed sat in one side of the room with a small flat screen television resting across from it on a plastic looking wooden table. In another corner of the room was a moderately sized kitchenette with a small table and chairs. “Where am I?” you sat on the red carpet looking up at the strange man.

“Like I said, your subconscious. You’re asleep,” he paused and shrugged. “Kind of.”

“Kind of,” you scoffed. “How am I kind of asleep?”

“You blacked out,” he walked over to the kitchenette area and began to look through cabinets. “When my little bro reached into examine your soul, he exposed your grace. Basically everything that should’ve happened when you were born just happened.”

“Meaning?” you sat up, sitting on one leg while you used your other to rest your arm on. “And if I’m technically dreaming, this isn’t even real.”

“Sorry sweet cheeks, this is all too real,” he apparently found what he was looking for due to the fact he jumped excitingly and slammed the cabinet shut. “Anyways, you’re part angel. So what do angels normally have?”

You furrowed your brow and rested your chin on top of your arm. “Wings?” he nodded and moved his hand urging you to continue. “I don’t know what else, I’ve been living with demonic powers all my life, not to much of a difference.”

“You remember hearing high pitched noises before blacking out at all?” he pursed his lip and looked at you curiously.

“Yeah, why?” you asked skeptically.

“Well,” he paused and moved to take a seat in one of the chairs. “That was you being tuned into angel radio. Hurts like a bitch when you’re not used to it, all those high pitched winged dicks speaking in enochian. Honestly don’t blame you for getting a headache,” he shrugged and began to unwrap something.

You stood slowly and walked over to sit on the bed. It creaked under your weight and it caused you to wince. “That explains that,” you paused and looked around the room again. “So why are we here and why am I still in this dress?”

“Have a problem with my taste?” he said coolly before shoving a sucker in his mouth.

“No, not at all. Just trying to figure things out,” you smiled at him.

“I brought you here because for some reason this is where most of your memories are, motel rooms that is. The dress, well, I figured you’d need something radient to wear. It does match your soul after all,” he pondered for a moment. “Actually, not a soul. It’s your grace.”

“Yeah, running from things your entire life kinda makes motel rooms your home,” you sighed heavily. “So my grace is red, huh.”

“Not really red, more maroon. I can only imagine it’s because of the red and blackness of your demonic and the very light blue that colors grace. I find it quite beautiful,” he smirked at you.

“Not much of a difference,” you argued.

“Yeah whatever,” he continued to smirk. “About those wings though.”

“What about them?” you kicked your feet from under your dress and looked down to watch it flow.

“You grew them.”

“I what?” you quickly looked back at him.

“When you felt the sensation of your spine breaking and your skin tearing,” he paused and shrugged his shoulders. “That was your wings forming.”

“I don’t understand how that’s possible.”

“You’re the product of an archangel (Y/N), you’re as strong as any angel out there. With your demonic half though, you could potentially be stronger than even an archangel,” he said thoughtfully.  

“Woah,” you rested your hands on the edge of the bed and gripped tightly. “That’s insane.”

“Kinda. I mean, if you think about it, you could already teleport and do pretty much anything an angel can do with a few exceptions. Now you’re just stronger and have wings,” he stood and walked back over to the cabinets and began to dig through it again.

“So if my grace is maroon, what color are my wings?” you asked.

“They’re the same, but with a shade of black on the ends. It’s pretty remarkable. Most angels have normal wings and all of them have the same colored grace,” he said as he pulled out a bottle with clear liquid and two glasses. “But, with good news I’m afraid comes bad news.”

“What do you mean?” you could help but jump slightly at the loud noise of him slamming the cabinet again.

“I mean,” he paused, walking over to you with the bottle, that you could now tell was vodka, and the two glasses. “When Castiel tampered with your buried grace, he sent a beacon off.”

He handed you one of the glasses and poured you a drink. “I don’t get what you mean,” you looked at him as he sat next to you.

“I mean, now all of heaven, hell, and pretty much just everything knows you exist,” he sighed and poured his own glass. “Normally I prefer something a little more sweet, but we’re in your head and this isn’t a good thing.”

“How do you know all of this?” you asked before downing the entire glass, cringing at the bitterness of it.

“Who do you think contained your grace sweetness?” he smiled wickedly.

“Gabriel?” you asked as your eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Guilty, I’m glad you knew my name, saves me trouble of introductions,” he said slyly.

Before you could realize it you slapped him across his face, hard enough to send him falling off the bed. “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD,” you screamed and jumped away from him. “You can’t really be here, you’re just some guy I’ve never met and for some reason I was listening to.”

Gabriel rubbed his cheek and pouted slightly. “I was only kind of dead.”

“What?” you glared at him. “You mean to tell me, you’ve been alive all this time and you just,” you took a deep breath and paused. “You just fucking abandoned me.”

“I hate to say it, but you were safer with the demon,” he mumbled and stood up, snapping his fingers to clean up the mess of the vodka that had spilled everywhere. You didn’t even bother noticing it.

“Let me get this straight,” you clenched your fists. “My biological father, a fucking archangel thought I was safest with a salesman from hell. That’s rich.”

“I’m serious,” he looked at you sternly. “I couldn’t be with you because they would have found you, when you were younger they could have killed you. I’ve been watching over you though. I may not have been there but I have always been your father.”

“Don’t you dare call yourself my father,” you snarled at him. “Crowley raised me, he kept me safe. Granted I was running practically my entire life and I was also kept a secret most of that time too, he’s my father. I had to be raised like a goddamn soldier, so I could keep myself safe. I’ve been killing things for more centuries and I hate it, you know that?"

“(Y/-,” he started but you cut him off.

“No, you get to listen now,” you pointed at him. “You abandoned me, and I bet I wasn’t the only one right? Just an accidental abomination that you’re ashamed of. Bullshit you were watching over me, if you were watching me then you would made sure I had a life. Hell, I may be practically immortal like you but I still deserved a normal childhood at some point,” you started to pace around the room. “I’m a fucking monster because of you. Why didn’t you just have me killed when you had the chance huh? Planning on trying to use me as a weapon now that I have my grace?” you turned to him and raised your arms in question. “Are you so afraid to actually face me in person that you had to invade my fucking mind.”

“I’m sorry sugar, I needed to keep you safe. I could never hurt you or want you dead. I’ve never been ashamed of you, okay? Not a damn day goes by that I don’t wish I would’ve tried things differently,” he looked down at the ground, almost like a kicked puppy.

“You know, I’ve heard stories of what you did to my friends,” you crossed your arms and looks at the hem of your dress. “Have you always been a dick to everyone? Or just happen to do it to the people I care about?”

“I did it because I had to,” he tried to move towards you.

“No,” you glared daggers into him. “What you had to do was raise your child, Gabe. Instead you chose to hide me away and ‘protect’ me,” you made air quotes. “Obviously I’ve learned to protect myself no thanks to you.”

“Cutting off your grace and warding you helped you get to this point,” he tried to reason.

“You’re just like god, you know that?” you scowled at him. “Just a deadbeat father,” you turned coldly. “And to think that a demon could be a better father than a damn angel. Thanks for the information bud, you can get out of my head now.”

“(Y/N), please don’t do this,” he grabbed your shoulder softly.

“I don’t owe you anything, get out of my head. If you really are alive, stay out of my life. You will never be my father,” you snapped at him.

He nodded and removed his hand from your shoulder. “As you wish.”

 

…

 

Your body shot up quickly before you had a chance to even open your eyes someone's hands were on your arms. You were breathing heavily and still felt angrier then you could even remember being before. Castiel's voice was saying your name but he sounded muffled and far away.

“(Y/N),” his gruff voice started to become clearer and his hands were gripping you tighter as you tried to pull away. “Honeybee, open your eyes.”

You took a deep breath as your eyes shot open. Everything seemed brighter and more vivid with a soft maroon undertone around it. “Cassie,” you whimpered as you suddenly remembered everything that happened in your mind and the moments before you blacked out.

“Honeybee,” Castiel furrowed his brows and looked at you concerned. “Your eyes are glowing a different color.”

“W-what?” you stuttered out.

“Your eyes, instead of being (Y/E/C) in the iris they are a deep maroon color,” he said flatly.

You squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath before opening them again. “Did that make a difference?”

He nodded. “It seems as though it was not a permanent thing,” he paused and moved one of his hands to your cheeks. “Are you alright?”

You nodded and shrugged your shoulders in attempts to stretch. “I feel stiff though.”

“That is to be expected due to the fact you now have wings,” he nodded his head in the direction to your right and removed his hand from your cheek. “You have to get used to them.”

You turned your head to where he was referring to and you were met with the view of some of the most beautiful feathers you had ever seen. Without realizing it your hand had made it’s way up to touch them, when it made contact however you let out a loud hiss at the tenderness you felt. “They’re sore.”

 

“As to be expected of, new angel wings are normally tender. However, they will soon become rather sensitive to the touch,” he said as he stared at your wings. “I must say they are quite remarkable, though you were already as such.”

“You’re taking this rather well,” you looked to him before turning and attempting to touch your wing again. The tenderness quickly subsided and you were able to pet them. They were soft, it almost reminded you of a kitten's fur with how soft it was.

He tilted his head and looked into your eyes. “Well, you’ve been out for about 12 hours. Your wings grew in fully about an hour after you blacked out, I’ve gotten used to them.”

You pursed your lips and nodded curtly. “That would do it.”

“Although I am confused as to why you are taking it so well, normally if someone were to randomly grow another appendage I assume they would be upset,” he frowned slightly, looking down on at his lap. “Especially after all the pain it caused you, the pain I caused you.”

You reached out and put your hand on his scruffy jaw and urged him to look at you. “Castiel, it’s okay,” you smiled slightly when he looked at you.

“It does not feel okay, you were in a lot of pain (Y/N),” he reached up and grasped your hand, holding it to his face.

“Well, I’m okay now,” you said gently as you ran your thumb across his chin, feeling just how sharply his jawline was with the rest of you hand. “Did you put me back in the bed?” you asked as you looked down and finally realized what you were on.

He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch before nodding. “Yes, after you blacked out and I made sure you were still breathing, I moved you.”

“Thank you,” you leaned forward and pressed your forehead to his.

“You have no reason to thank me. I acted out of aggression before you blacked out and then I am the one who caused you great pain when I reached into your soul,” he took a sharp breath when he realized how close you were.

“Even so, I’m fine now and you helped me reach another side of myself I’ve never seen,” you smiled and ran your hand from his jaw to his neck. “I forgive you and I thank you.”

He nodded sharply and swallowed, causing his adam's apple to bounce. “Then you are welcome.”

You leaned forward more and kissed his cheek softly before pulling away. “I uh, need to talk to you about something.”

“Anything,” he almost looked disappointed that you moved away.

“While I was out, I had a dream or maybe a vision, not really sure what it was,” you moved your hand as you talked and frowned at the thought. “I saw someone. They told me what happened and why it happened. Why I heard high pitched noises and why it felt like my back was breaking. Which by the way, I blacked out because of the pain my new found wings caused.”

“Who did you see?” he tilted his head slightly and furrowed his brow.

You let out a huff and laughed dryly. “Gabriel.”

“You saw my brother?” his head shot back up right in shock.

You nodded and looked down at your lap. “He told me that when you touched my soul it broke the barrier holding back my grace. That barrier also happened to be connected to warding I guess, which is now broken. When I heard those noises it was angel radio and he said when you broke the barrier it basically released a beacon telling everyone and everything who and what I was.”

“I did not realize that would happen,” he said confused.

“I didn’t either, but I believe it. He seemed more than a dream, I know he’s dead but maybe he left a piece of himself inside of me,” you shrugged. “But if he is really alive, I want nothing to do with him. He abandoned me,” you paused and sighed loudly. “Just like god abandoned all of his creations.”

Castiel reached out and grabbed your hands. “What ever may be the case, we will figure this out. I promise you, I will keep you safe.”

He ran his thumbs over your palms and you couldn’t help but smile at his gesture of comfort. The strange, awkward angel always did comfort you when he knew how. “Thank you for being here for me Castiel.”

“You again have no reason to thank me,” he let go of one of your hands and put his fingers under your chin, holding your face softly to look at him. “I would do anything for you honeybee,” he said sweetly and moved his hand to your cheek.

As you leaned into his touch you couldn’t help but laugh at a thought that crossed your mind. “You know, in my dream I was wearing a dress that matched my wings. It was weird to say the least, considering I don’t do dresses unless I have to.”

He smiled at you knowingly. “I would have very much liked to see that.”

You looked down at your current outfit of a light grey tank top and black leggings. “I think I prefer this look, shows off my curves more.”

“I would have to agree,” he continued to smile and ran his thumb over your bottom lip.

You looked back up only to be met with Castiels startling baby blues staring back at you. The look he gave you was filled with adoration, love, and lust. He made your breath catch as he began to lean forward. “Castiel,” you couldn’t stop the way you breathlessly said his name.

He hummed in response when his lips were only a breath away. You looked down at his pump, chapped lips and then back up into his eyes. Castiel tilted his head slightly as his eyes studied you. He experimentally ran his hand into your hair and gripped it softly with the hand not on your cheek. “I would really like to kiss you,” he said ever so bluntly.

“What’s stopping you?” you felt your breath hitch in your throat as the hand on your face moved down onto your neck.

Stroking your throat with his thumb he parted his lips slightly and smirked. He fucking smirked at you. “I always need permission (Y/N), even for something like this.”

You attempted to laugh but it was quickly cut off by a slight yank of your hair. “Such a gentleman.”

“Do you want this?” he asked sincerely.

“I,” you paused and bit your lip. “Yes, Castiel I do.”

“Good,” his smirked grew before he crashed his lips into yours. It was nothing like you had expected Castiel to be like. He was of course gentle but still demanding and rough.

His tongue grazed your bottom lip in attempt to gain access in which you gladly gave him. Wrapping your arms around his neck you moved onto your knees from your sitting position to push him back slightly. Castiel moved his hand from your neck to your hip and gripped it tightly. You let of a soft moan as he pulled you into his body and onto his lap. “Cas!” you practically screamed as you felt him moved his hand from your hair to the middle of your shoulder blades.

He chuckled softly and gently ran his fingers down your spine, making you shiver. “Sensitive?”

“Yeah, just a tad,” you glared down at him feigning mad until you felt his other hand move from your hip up to one of your wings. He ghosted his fingertips over the base of one of your feathers, causing you to moan loudly.

“Seems to be more than a tad,” he said smugly.

Growling you pushed him back all the way on the bed and straddled his stomach. “You know exactly what you’re doing and no one likes a tease Castiel.”

“Oh? Well, I happen to have seen and heard you tease plenty,” he said cocking one of his eyebrows.

“What?” you rested your hands on his shoulders and looked down at him.

“One thing you’ll learn, angels have pretty good hearing and I’ve accidentally popped in on you and Dean a few times,” he looked away from you as his face seemed to turn bright red.

You leaned down and pressed your lips to his ear. “So you like to watch and listen?”

He nodded slightly. “But I’ve always left.”

“Hmm,” you smirked and pressed your lips just below his ear. “I always thought you just watched porn because you were shy.”

Castiel shook his head and shifted slightly underneath you. “I never meant to invade anyones privacy.”

“I’m not mad Cas, just have one question,” you said as you sat back up, placing your hands on his chest.

“Yes?” he said while he awkwardly hovered his hands above your thighs.

“Did you ever imagine yourself that it was you instead of Dean?” you moved your hips slightly so your crotch was over his.

“Yes,” he hissed out through gritted teeth.

“Interesting,” you pursed your lips and got off of Castiel and the bed.

He quickly sat up and looked at you confused. “You’re upset.”

“No,” you looked at him. “I’m not upset, if anything I’m just confused I guess.”

“By what?” he questioned as he stood up next to you.

“Why all of you seem to have such a fondness of me,” you shrugged.

Castiel put his hand on your arm and looked down at you. “Because you’re beautiful, smart, funny, fun to be around. I mean, I never enjoyed humanly things before I spent time with you.

“I guess this really changed things huh,” you said softly.

“How would this change things?” he looked at you innocently.

“I have slept with both Dean and Sam,” you looked down at your feet.

“So?” he placed his hand on your cheek and lifted your head up to look at him.

“Meaning, I’ve had sex with your friends Cas and we just kissed. Pretty heatedly, might I add. I’ve already come between them, I don’t want to make them mad at you too,” you huffed out a dry laugh.

Castiel let out a slight growl at the mention of you being with both Sam and Dean but quickly contained himself. “Though it may make me,” he paused trying to think of the word he wanted to use. “It may make me jealous, but it all together does not bother me.”

“I don’t want to lose you if something doesn’t go right Cas,” you pulled away from him.

“You won’t,” he moved towards you again. “We can take this slow (Y/N).”

“Are you sure?” you looked into his bright blue eyes.

“I have never been more sure of anything,” he nodded and bent his head down to be at your height.

You nodded and grabbed his hand. “Alright, we’ll take things slow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured I wouldn't leave you guys with a cliffhanger this time. 
> 
> Please leave any feedback or suggestions you may have in the comments, they are always appreciated. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time my loves.


	9. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see a friend in a bad way. Needing comfort you turn to the only person who could keep you safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys, this one is angst filled. Figured I needed to have something at least kind of canon to the show and this was the first thing I thought of. Please don't hate me for the progression of this chapter. 
> 
> I needed to write some more smutty smut and this chapter needed a lighter turn so there you go. 
> 
> Oh and don't mind my gif use, just found some things that gave me the ideas. No full frontal nudity, just naked backs.

“CASSIE,” you screamed at the top of your lungs while you ran through the apparently empty house. “Where are you?” you sighed and stopped running, resting your hands on your hips. 

You had been moving from foreclosed house to foreclosed house for about 4 months now, with your blue eyed angel. He had explained to you that using these types of houses means that there would be furniture and it would be better than staying in dirty motel rooms. How could you argue with that. Besides, most of the time the houses you stayed in were nicely furnished and clean. 

The home you were currently in was actually a cabin, in the heart of the Michigan wilderness. Despite the woods that completely surrounded the structure it was quaint and quite beautiful. It was about a two hour drive to get to any form of civilization but you couldn’t complain, you liked the privacy that it offered you and Castiel. 

You had been practicing your new found abilities ever since Castiel had broken the seal of your grace. It had been fairly simple when it came to the things you could always do, after all it just heightened your powers. Where it became tricky was wrapping your mind around the things not even angels could do. Warping reality definitely was not something you ever wanted to do. Castiel had mentioned that both Cambion and Nephilim could do it, but you saw no point in ever trying to change things like that. You absolutely hated using angel radio due to the high pitched ranges of the angels, Castiel had told you it would get easier but you tried to keep it off as much as possible. The one new power you did enjoy however was being able to read minds of those around you. You always laughed at the thoughts you heard by a woman at the supermarket a few weeks back. She was checking Castiel out and her thoughts were loud with what she would do to him and when you checked with him about it he was blushing. You knew instantly he had heard what you had. 

You smiled to yourself and walked over to the sliding glass door in the living room that lead outside. Wrapping your arms around yourself you stood and watched as the wind blew the tree branches in all different directions. You continued to watch as a bird flew down and landed on the patio that was connected to the house. You loved watching innocent creatures live their lives in ignorance. Biting your lip you turned around and walked away from the door. 

Sighing loudly you moved over to the small plaid couch, that sat in front of a fireplace, and threw yourself down on it dramatically. “Why can’t I live in ignorance and bliss?” you groaned to yourself. 

“Because of your uniqueness,” Castiels gruff voice answered. 

Letting out a surprised squeal, you quickly jumped from the couch and turned to face him. “Didn’t hear you come in,” you said softly, being slightly embarrassed for talking to yourself.

“Yes, I do believe it is because you were speaking to yourself,” his lip curled up in a small smiled. 

“I only did it once,” you said and crossed your arms. 

“Once?” he raised an eyebrow at you, challenging your answer.

“Once since I woke up,” you grumbled and turned away from him. “Where were you anyways?” 

He walked over to you slowly and rested his hand on your shoulder. “With Sam.” 

You turned back around and faced him with your eyes squinted slightly. “Just Sam?” 

“If you are thinking I was with Dean you are wrong,” he looked down at you. 

“Then who else was there,” you pursed your lips. “You don’t just go hangout with Sam unless Deans there.” 

“I was with Sam, Charlie and Rowena,” he answered curtly. 

“What were you doing with Charlie and my grandmother?” you scrunched your face in confusion. “Speaking of which, no one knows what I am right or that you know about Crowley?” 

He shook his head. “I promised you I would keep it a secret until you were comfortable enough to tell them yourself,” he paused and raised his hands to cup your cheeks. “I would never betray your trust like that, especially with how much you mean to me.”

You stood on your tiptoes and pecked his lips lightly. “Good,” you uncrossed your arms and wrapped them around his neck. “Now what were you all doing?” 

“We believe that the book of the damned has a spell that can remove the mark from Dean,” he answered honestly, moving his hands to rest on your waist.

“Seriously?” you moved away from him quickly. “The book of the damned!” you yelled at him. “I’ve been around a long time Castiel, maybe not as long as you but I know you don’t mess with that thing.” 

“Honeybee,” Castiel said softly and took a step towards you. “It’s for Dean.” 

You scowled. “Yeah, but at the same time you all are risking everything to use a fucking book that could kill everyone,” you growled. “How did you even get your hands on it?”

Castiel kept his arms at his sides and moved to look out one of the near windows. “Charlie found it,” he paused and looked back at you. “Dean does not know we still have it.” 

“Wait,” you held up your hand and pinched the bridge of your knows. “Still have it, did he tell you guys to get rid of it?” 

Castiel nodded and looked back out the window. “Sam did not wish to actually destroy it.”

“Castiel, what the hell is going on? I get it, I asked to be kept out of most of this but if this involves you risking your damn lives for a cure that may not even exist then I need to know.” 

“The Stynes attacked them while they were at a safe house. Charlie was hurt and Sam pretended to burn the book but still has it in his possession. Rowena is going to use the codex to read and perform the spell,” Castiel continued to study the trees surrounding the cabin. 

“The Stynes?” you questioned and received a hum as a response. “Shit, Cas this isn’t good.” 

“How do you mean?” he turned to face you with his brow furrowed. 

“I’ve heard of them Castiel, they’re ruthless and will do anything to get their hands on that book. You guys need to find another way to get rid of the mark and get rid of the book all together,” you pleaded with him. 

“I do not think I understand,” he watched as you walked towards him. 

“Castiel, where is the book?” you reached towards him and placed your hands on his biceps. 

“I believe Charlie is currently looking after it,” he looked at your hand then to your face which had changed into a look of complete terror. 

“Castiel, where is Charlie?” he looked at you confused and stayed quiet. “DAMMIT CAS, WHERE IS SHE?” you yelled at him. 

“She is currently at a motel near where we had been trying to translate the book,” he finally answered. 

“Shit shit shit,” you quickly moved away from him and began to search the room for your cell phone. “Fucking fuck, where is it?” you yelled as you frantically threw things around the room. 

“What are you looking for (Y/N)?” Castiel looked at you with concern filled eyes. 

“My phone,” you said before using your wings to teleport yourself to your bedroom. Finally seeing your phone on the desk in the corner of your room you quickly grabbed it and opened up the tracking app you downloaded, to track everyone's location if you ever needed to help. Before Castiel could stop you you teleported to Charlie's last known location.

 

…

 

You were transported in front of her room's door. You were about to knock but decided against it due to the fact the door was open a crack. Slowly you opened the door and walked in. The room was a mess, papers were thrown everywhere and things had been knocked off of tables. Placing your hand on your stomach as it churned you walked towards the bathroom of the room.  

As you got closer to the bathroom you were hit then the face with the foul smell of death, causing you stomach to churn more. You covered your nose and mouth with your hand before pushing open the already cracked door. What you saw made you want to throw up, scream, and cry all at once. 

Laying in the bathtub was your best friend. One of her legs hung off the side of the tub and blood splattered the pink shower tile. You fell to your knees and crawled towards her. Trying your best to hold back your sobs you reached towards her. “Charlie?” you whispered, hoping this was a sick joke. You felt something soak through your faded blue jeans when you got to the side of the tub. Not paying it any attention you leaned forward and placed your hands on her shoulders. “Charlie,” you said in a normal voice, well as normal as you could with the sobs threatening to spill over. “Charlie,” you yelled as you began to shake her, leaning completely on the side of the tub. You felt something cold seep through your dark green cotton shirt but still paid it no mind. “No, no, no,” you couldn’t hold back your sobs any longer and felt the tears slide down your cheeks. “Charlie no,” you quickly embraced her lifeless body, still not caring about the blood. “I should have been here,” you cried. 

You stayed like that for about 10 minutes, just holding her lifeless body and letting her blood soak into your clothes. Hearing the sound of footsteps and voices you finally let her go, still letting the tears stream down your cheeks. You stood from her and walked toward the bathroom door. Glancing up you saw your current state in the mirror, covered in blood from head to toe, eyes puffy and red from crying. 

“(Y/N),” hearing your name come from a very familiar voice pulled you from looking at yourself. 

You stood in the doorway of the bathroom, looking down at your feet. “Why are you here?” another voice asked roughly. “And why are you covered in blood?” 

Looking up you were greeted with the view of none other than Sam and Dean Winchester. Sam looked at you curiously, while Dean gave you a cold hard look. “(Y/N), are you alright? Where’s Charlie?” Sam started to walk towards you, looking you over to make sure you weren’t injured. 

“This is your fault,” you spoke softly and looked directly at Dean. 

“What are you talking about?” Dean scowled at you. 

“SHE’S DEAD DEAN,” you yelled and charged at him. “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.” 

Dean quickly grabbed your hands before you could hit him and you instantly fell to the ground. “Wh-?” Dean was interrupted by the sound of Sam gagging.

“Dean,” Sam said softly, looking horrified into the bathroom. 

Dean walked over to his brother and looked into the bathroom, only to see the sight of his dead friend. He swallowed thickly, but couldn’t take his eyes off of her.    


“It’s all your fault,” you sobbed from the floor of the motel room.

Dean broke out of his trance and looked back at your heaped over self. “What happened?” he growled at you. 

“The Stynes,” you said back coldly. 

“Why are you covered in blood?” Sam asked as he turned back around. 

“I found her Sam,” you looked up at him as tears ran down your cheeks. “I-I held her,” you stuttered and ran a hand over your eyes. 

Sam looked at Dean and watched as his brothers jaw clenched and unclenched before he went back into the bathroom. A few minutes passed before he came back out, holding Charlie's lifeless. He looked at his brother then down to you before walking out of the room with her. 

Sam walked over and kneeled beside you. “We should get you cleaned up.” 

You nodded and attempted to stand, only to fall back to your knees. Sam reached out his hand for you to grab. Grabbing his hand, after staring at it for a moment, you pulled yourself up on shaky legs. He quickly embraced you, not caring that you were covered in blood. “Why did you let her help you,” you sobbed into his chest. 

He placed one of his hands on the back of your head and kissed the top of it. “I couldn’t stop her,” he whispered softly. 

You continued to sob as you wrapped your hands in his jacket. “I should’ve been here.” 

He shushed you softly. “You didn’t know and we couldn’t find you.” 

You pulled away from him and wiped your cheeks with the palms of your hands. “I need to go.” 

His face contoured into a look of confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I have to go,” you said before quickly running from him and out of the room. When you were sure you were far enough away from them that they wouldn’t see you, you flew back to your cabin.

 

... 

 

When your feet hit the ground again you collapsed onto your knees. Your thoughts were clouded with images of Charlies lifeless body, the image of Sam and Dean finding you covered in blood. You could hear Sam calling out for you, almost like a prayer. You could hear Dean cursing you out for what he was sure your part to play in what happened, only you didn’t do anything. That was the problem, you hid from them, all of them. Sam, Dean, Charlie, Rowena, and even your father. None of them knew where you were, the only thing anyone knew was that you had been hunting on your own, at least that’s what Castiel had told them. If you had been there to protect her, none of this would have happened. 

Choking down a sob you tried to anchor yourself. You knew that if you let your emotions get out of control, you may not be able to control your powers. Running your hands through your hair you gripped it tightly and pulled, trying to stop thinking about what just happened. 

Castiel's feet and trench coat became to cloud your vision as he walked towards you. “Honeybee, what happened? Why are you covered in blood?” he crouched down beside you and tried to get you to release your grip in your hair. 

You looked up into his eyes, they were filled with concern and regret. “I was too late Cas,” you sobbed and fell into his chest. 

“What do you mean?” he ran his hand down your back. 

“She’s dead Cas,” you pulled away from him and wiped your face. “I should have stuck by them, I could have protected her.”

He embraced you tightly as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck. “It isn’t your fault, Honeybee,” he shushed you softly. 

“Yes it is,” you sobbed and gripped the lapels of his trench coat tightly. “I could have prevented all of this if I just came out of fucking hiding. She was my best friend Cas,” you sobbed again, leaving a large wet spot on his collar from your tears. “I was the one who found her, I held her lifeless body in my hands. I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Castiel ran a hand down your back and kissed your temple. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” he whispered softly before moving his hands under your thighs, silently telling you to wrap your legs around him. 

You carefully wrapped yourself around him. When he felt that you were situated enough he lifted you off of the ground and began to carry you to the stairs of the cabin. “Wouldn’t it be faster if you just flew to the bathroom?” you mumbled into his neck, barely loud enough for him to hear you. 

As he started walking up the stairs his arms got tighter around you trembling form. “I know how much you dislike using your powers when you’re upset, so I am not going to use mine either,” he responded when he was about halfway up the staircase. 

You nodded against his neck and held onto his broad shoulders tightly. “Thank you.” 

Keeping one of his hands on your thigh to hold you up, he moved his other to cradle the back of your head gently. “You have no reason to thank me, I need to take care of you,” he whispered into your ear and began walking down the hallway towards the bedroom. 

Your chest tightened slightly as you began to calm down, causing you to choke back some of your sobs. “You don’t need to Cas, you’ve done so much for me already.” 

“Shh,” he hushed you softly and opened the door to the bedroom. “I’m going to set you down, we need to get you out of these clothes.” 

“Alright,” you nodded into his neck and released your grip on his shoulders. “I know,” you added as you released your legs from his around his waist and dropped your feet to the floor. 

He slowly let go of you and brought both of his large hands to rest on your cheeks. “You’re going to be okay,” he said sternly and pressed his forehead against yours. 

“Thanks to you,” you whispered back to him. 

Dropping his hands from your face, he backed away from you. “I’ll leave you to get cleaned up.” 

Before he could walk out of the room you quickly grabbed his wrist. “Wait,” you paused. 

“Is everything alright?” he tilted his head, a look of pure concern etched into his features. 

 

You nodded. “I just, I don’t want to be alone,” you looked down at the ground. You were an all powerful being, but you absolutely hated being by yourself when you were upset. 

“Do you wish me to help you clean yourself then?” he raised his other hand and was about to snap his fingers. 

“Cas,” you said softly, taking a deep breath. “I would still like to do this the non magical way,” you looked at him sweetly. “I just don’t want to be alone,” you shrugged. 

He nodded and looked at you with soft eyes. “Then what do you suppose I should do while you shower?” 

You looked at his disheveled clothes that were now coated in blood as well. “I suppose you can join me, you’re about as bad off as myself.” 

“Alright,” he said shortly before swallowing harshly. “I’m afraid I have never used a shower with another person before, my time as a human was very insightful, but in other ways not so much."

You moved your hand from his wrist and intertwined your hands together. “It’s like a normal shower Castiel, just with another person.” 

He gripped your hand gently and gave you a small smile before following you into the adjoining bathroom of the bedroom. When you released his hand to walk over to the shower you missed the nervous look he gave you. “Are you sure you wish for me to join you?” 

As you slid the door open you turned your head back to look at him. “I’m sure,” you smiled at him slightly before turning your attention back to the shower. “It’s alright Castiel,” you said as you turned on the water, making sure the temperature was right before turning back around towards the awkward angel. “We’ll wash our clothes or something when we’re done, okay?” 

“Okay,” he watched you carefully as you walked back over to him. 

“You always take care of me Cas, ever since I met you,” you said as you ran your hands up to his chest, pushing his trench coat and suit jacket over his shoulders and down his arms. “You’ve always made me feel safe. You’ve always made sure I had what I needed, if it wasn’t for the fact you really were an angel, you’d be pretty damn close.” 

You watched as his adam's apple bobbed in his throat. “(Y/N), you don’t have to undress me.” 

“Shh,” you shushed him with a kiss to the corner of his lips. “You take care of me all the time, please let me take care of you, at least in this way.” 

“(Y/-,” he started but you cut him off. 

“Nothing sexual Castiel, just a comfort shower. Let me take care of you while you take care of me. Please, I need to,” you reached up and gripped his tie lightly. “Please.” 

“Alright,” he said as he watched you carefully tug on his tie, undoing it enough to pull it over his head. Before you could start unbuttoning his dress shirt he grabbed your hands lightly. “But only if I can help you.” 

You nodded and he released your hands. Castiel reached down reluctantly and grabbed the hem of your shirt. He slowly pulled it up and stopped just below your chest. Looking at you for permission you nodded at him, telling him that it was okay before he finished pulling it up and over your head and arms. You were wearing anything along the line of sexy lingerie, just a plain black sports bra with a clasp, but he seemed to be in a trance by it. The trance he was under was only broken when you reached behind you and unclasped the bra. You let the straps slide down your arms and dropped it to the floor. His eyes seemed to widen slightly as he took in your half naked form. “Now I think it’s only fair if I took that off,” you said as you pointed to his shirt. 

He half nodded at you as he continued to look at you admiringly. Reaching back to him you began unbuttoning his shirt, using your fingertips to ghost over his skin lightly as you went. His skin was flushed slightly and as the last of the buttons were undone, you took the time to admire his body. His vessel wasn’t as toned as Sam or even Dean but he was still built quite well. Running your hands up from his stomach to his shoulders, you slowly pushed his shirt down to join his other clothing. 

Standing on your toes you pecked his lips gently before backing away from him again. He watched you with a confused look on his face until you began to remove your jeans. Before you pulled them down your body you quickly kicked off your shoes and socks. As you pulled your jeans down over your ass and down your thighs you didn’t see the look of pure lust on his face. You knew even if he wanted to he wouldn’t, you’ve never been naked in front of each other like this. He respected your wishes of taking things slow and never tried to initiate anything like he had the first time. Sure you’ve seen the angel without a shirt on a few times when he’s been hurt and needed to be healed after a fight and he’s seen you partially naked when you’ve walked around the houses you stayed in, not knowing he was there. Of course there were the few times he popped in accidentally on you having sex with Dean, but he never got an up close and personal experience with most of your body. 

He watched as you turned around to face the shower, much like your sports bra your panties were very sexy. Just a pair of simple dark grey boy shorts that you loved because they were comfortable, but he seemed to enjoy them anyways. As you reached back into the shower to assure the water was still the right temperature you heard the sound of a belt clinking and a zipper.

Smiling to yourself slightly, you slid your panties off. Without turning around you stepped into the shower and stood under the shower head, letting the warm water cascade your aching body. You faced away from the shower door with your eyes closed so you barely realized it when Castiel finally stepped into the shower with you. 

His arms snaked around your waist and he pressed his body against your back, hugging you tightly. You couldn’t help but to lean back into him when he gently kissed the crook of your neck. “I really do care for you, (Y/N),” he said in an even deeper voice than normal. 

You turned around to face him, looking down slightly to watch the red tinted water go down the drain before looking back up at him. “I know,” you paused and reached your hand up to cup his scruff covered jaw. “I care about you too, Castiel,” he closed his eyes and leaned his face into your hand. 

He kissed your palm softly before pulling his face away. You furrowed your brow as he turned away from you. Your eyes travelled down his strong naked back to his firm ass and you made sure to take a mental picture for later. 

He turned back around to face you holding a bottle of shampoo. Your face instantly softened as he opened it to pour some of it in his hands. “May I?” he asked with slight nervousness lacing his voice. 

“Yeah,” you smiled at him before turning your back to him. 

Castiel slowly ran his hands through your hair as he lathered the soap into it. It felt amazing and his touch made you instantly forget yourself. His hands massaged your scalp gently and when he was sure the soap had spread evenly he moved you directly under the spray. As the soap ran down your body from your hair he moved to grab a washcloth and body wash. “Would you prefer to wash your body yourself?” he asked as he turned back around, holding the cloth now covered in soap. 

“You can,” you turned your body to face him once more and stood patiently, waiting for him to touch you. 

He nodded and moved the cloth up your arm and across your collarbone to your other arm. You watched his face as his eyes travelled where he moved the cloth down your other arm. He went from your hand to your stomach, avoiding touching your breasts, which made you smile at his awkwardness. Grabbing his hand lightly you moved it up to your chest. “It’s okay Castiel,” you said softly, looking into his eyes as he made eye contact with you. 

“O-okay,” he stuttered out slightly as he moved the cloth along the swell of your breasts. You heard him take a deep breath as he moved his hand between them and down to your waist. He bent to drag the cloth down your leg and up the other. When his hand came back up to your hip he gazed up at you, his eyes asking for permission to touch you in your most intimate part. You nodded down at him and ran your hand through his hair. The moment the soapy cloth made contact to your core your breath hitched in your throat and you bit your lip to keep any noise from escaping your lips. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yes,” you said slightly breathless. 

He stood back up and motioned for you to turn around. When you felt his chest touch your back, you almost jumped with how hot his skin felt against yours. You barely registered it when you felt something hard press into your lower back but couldn’t help but smirk knowing exactly what it was. You shook your head to get the dirty thoughts out of it, right now wasn’t the time to think about this. Your friend just died, this was about comfort. 

Castiel ran the cloth against your neck and shoulders, kissing where the water washed away the soap as it went. “Are you feeling any better, Honeybee?” he asked, his voice even deeper than before. 

You bit your lip when you felt his hard length slid across the cleft of your ass. “Thanks to you, I am,” you moaned softly as he moved his hands to your waist. 

Castiel ran his hand up your sides and onto your stomach, hugging you to him tightly. “Are you ready to get out then?” 

“You haven’t even washed yourself Cas?” you turned your head to look at him as he rested his chin on your shoulder. 

“I don’t require soap,” he said bluntly. 

You chuckled lightly. “I know, I know. You prefer using your grace to clean yourself up, but if you’d like I can wash you like you did for me.” 

He pursed his lips in thought and then finally nodded. “Alright, if you wish to do so.” 

Smiling slightly you moved away from him and turned around. You looked at his wet dark hair that stood out in multiple directions and chucked softly. “I’ll start with that mop,” you pointed to his head before reaching past him and grabbed a bottle of shampoo. 

“Mop?” he questioned. 

“Yes, your mop top,” you squirted a decent amount of shampoo into your hand before placing the bottle back. 

“I don’t understand,” he looked at you skeptically. 

“Doesn’t matter,” you smiled at him and rubbed your hands together, making sure the soap was fully lathered in your hands. “Do you mind bending down a little?” you asked as you raised your hands to his head barely being able to reach the top. 

He bent his head down for you and practically purred when you started to massage the shampoo into his scalp. You watched as the suds fell down his face and neck. “Now I understand why people enjoy showering together,” he grinned and looked into your eyes. 

“Most of the time it’s a little more heated Cas, but yeah it’s part of the reason. Good to know you enjoy me touching your hair though,” you said as you rinsed the soap from his hair. 

“Heated? Like sexual intercourse?” he asked as he raised his head back up. 

“Not like sex, it is sex,” you laughed softly and reached for the cloth he had previously discarded. Quickly putting soap on it, you began to wash his torso. 

“I see, do you enjoy it?” he watched your hands as the moved down his chest to his stomach. 

“Uh,” you paused and swallowed thickly. “Yeah, I do. It’s quite complicated though,” you looked at his face as you washed his arms. 

“Complicated how?” 

“Well, uh,” you took a moment to think. “It’s dangerous, if you don’t have the right footing you could both fall and die. I mean, if you’re human anyways,” you shrugged and moved your gaze to his waist, seeing his generously sized dick. Your breath caught in your throat as you noticed it had been hard basically this entire time. Shaking your head you emptied your clouded mind once again. “Do you want me to wash your dick too?” you cleared your throat.

He looked down at his own member and frowned slightly. “I apologize for this,” he said referring to its erectness. “I can’t really control it,” he sounded embarrassed. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” you stepped close enough to his so your chest was against his. “I get it,” you kissed his cheek lightly. “I won’t do it unless you’re okay with it.” 

“You allowed me to touch you, it’s only fair,” he responded. 

You nodded and looked straight at his chest as you moved your hand, with the cloth still in it, over his dick. You slowly ran your hand down it and across his balls. His breath hitched violently in his throat at the feeling, causing you to look up at his face. You watched as his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes closed tightly. “Cas?” you said breathily. 

His eyes shot open and he looked into your eyes for a moment before crashing his lips to yours. He was gently and rough all at once. His kiss was needy but passionate as he wrapped his arms around your waist. The cloth dropped from your hand as you quickly wrapped your hands around his neck. 

 

It barely registered in your mind when he moved his hands to your thighs and lifted you up. Wrapping your legs around his waist and running a hand through his hair, you let out a soft moan. His hard member was pressed against your core, which you only just realized was wet in more than one way. 

You hissed slightly and broke the kiss when you felt the cold wall of the shower door on your back. Taking the opportunity Castiel kissed down your neck, nipping and licking his way across your chest. “May I, (Y/N)?” he asked carefully, looking up into your eyes. His normally bright blue eyes were clouded and blackened with lust. 

You bit your lip and nodded, forgetting everything that had happened within the last few hours. “Please, Castiel,” you moaned. 

He groaned and nipped at your neck, moving one of his hands to touch your heated core. His fingers slid along your slit easily as he moved them, brushing his thumb across your clit every so often. “So wet,” he growled slightly. 

You nodded and gripped his hair tightly, pulling his head back a bit to kiss him deeply. He kissed you back feverishly, gripping your thigh tightly. Moving your hand that didn’t have a hold on his hair, you gripped his dick lightly and urged it towards your entrance. 

He hissed slightly as he felt your soaked folds. “You have my permission,” you whispered against his lips. “Castiel,” you said his name as a prayer. 

Castiel pressed his forehead against yours and began to press into you. You moaned loudly as he stretch you. When he finally bottomed out he gave you time to adjust. “Fuck,” he cursed breathlessly. 

Wrapping your arms around his neck tightly, you pressed your body against his tightly. “Move,” you whispered. 

He pressed his face into the crook of your neck and began thrusting his hips slowly. “You feel so good,” he groaned as he continued his torturingly slow pace. 

“Castiel,” you moaned as he moved his hips in just the right way to hit your sweet spots. 

Moving one of his hands to brace both of you against the shower door, he moved the other to cradle the back of your head. His thrust started to become harder and faster, causing you to moan louder. “Fucking hell,” he cursed again. 

 

Given any other circumstances him using hell and just cursing in general would have made you giggle, but right now you loved the sound of his voice as he did. “Yes,” you groaned feeling the coil in your stomach tighten. 

His hips started snapping into yours harder and inhumanly fast. Throwing your head back against the shower door and digging your nails into his back, you felt yourself get closer and closer. You felt yourself tighten around him and you were sure he did to. “Cum for me honeybee, please.” 

You nodded breathlessly feeling the coil in your stomach finally snap. Castiel continued thrusting into you a few times before finding his own released. You pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes tightly. He kissed your lips softly, to which you smiled against his lightly.

You started laughing softly at the events that just took place. When you opened your eyes you were greeted with the blissed out look of the angel in front of you. Throughout everything you didn’t notice the water go cold, only realizing it as your body calmed down from its high. Taking a deep breath you looked into his eyes as he did yours. 

Placing one of his hands against your cheeks he looked at you seriously. “I think I love you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that when they found Charlie this wasn't exactly how it happened, I needed to find a way to put our reader in there somewhere and this is what happened. 
> 
> For those of you who got upset reading that part, I am so sorry. I absolutely loved Charlie and hated writing that part. 
> 
> RIP.
> 
> Just so you know, I wasn't originally going to write shower smut but it just kinda happened. Oops.


	10. The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters release the darkness, but what does this mean for you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, this chapter is kind of gory and sad. Reader beware. 
> 
> Also I am aware that this chapter is shorter then my normal ones but two chapters within two days, that's being generous if you ask me. Any-who, enjoy my loves!

You walked down the hallway of a long corridor. It never seemed to end as you continued walking. Taking in the completely white walls with no doors interrupting its endlessness, you sighed softly. You had no idea where you were and why you were there.

You stopped walking and looked down at yourself. The same maroon colored dress covered your body as the dream you had had with Gabriel. Running your hands down the skirt you noticed it was damp. When you pulled your hands away from yourself and looked at them you were shocked by the sight of blood. “What the hell?” you breathed out as your brows furrowed in question. You had to be dreaming again, but why did it feel so real like last time. Taking a deep breath you turned around to see if anything had appeared behind you. Nothing, it was just an endless white hallway behind and in front of you. “Gabriel if you’re fucking with me again, I swear to your father,” you groaned. 

Wiping your blood covered hands on the wall nearby you pondered what happened. You couldn’t remember falling asleep, the last thing you remembered was being with Castiel. You smiled fondly at the memory for a moment before remembering the last thing he said to you.  _ “I think I love you.”  _ You took a deep breath and ran hand down your face. Why couldn’t you remember what happened after that. 

Just as you were about to begin walking down the hall again, a sharp pain erupted in your head. Collapsing to your knees screaming, your vision went blurry. Visions of black smoke clouded your mind. An image of Dean with a scythe standing over a kneeling Sam only to turn around to kill Death. The noise of the Impala sounded in your ears as it tried to pull out of a patch of mud. The face of a beautiful brunette in a black dress appeared in your mind. 

The pain quickly subsided and you opened your eyes that you didn’t even realize you had shut. Looking around around you again, there was a door to your left that hadn’t been there before. You crawled over to it, afraid that if you were to stand the pain would come back. 

Sitting up on your knees you turned the door handle of the door and slowly pushed it open. The room was slightly dark, but as your eyes adjusted you noticed something inside. You stood slowly and began to walk towards it. The closer you were to it the more you were able to make out of the object, you soon realized was a body. You quickly ran over to it, kneeling near the head of the unknown person. 

They were laying on their stomach so you couldn’t see their face, however when you noticed their clean suit you swallowed thickly. Turning the body over slowly you gasped as you were able to make out their face. “D-daddy?” you sobbed. Laying in front of you was Crowley, lifeless with his eyes burned from the sockets, someone had smited him. 

“Oh god,” you gasped and quickly moved away from his body. Tears began to cloud your vision as you continued to sob. The moment you closed your eyes and reopened them however the room changed. You were now sitting in a parking lot. 

Quickly you got to your feet and looked around. The first thing you saw made your breath catch in your throat. On the other side of the parking lot sat the beauty that was the Impala. You didn’t waste another second as you ran towards it, noting that you were still in your blood covered dress. “Dean!” you yelled. 

As you got closer you slowed your running. Something didn’t look right around the Impala. It was quiet and no one was near it. When you got to the side of the car you noticed that the back windshield was broken and blood coated the seats. “Dean?” you choked out, covering your mouth quickly.

Slowly making your way around it you felt a sharp pain in your foot, you had forgotten you were barefoot and stepped in glass, but you didn’t care when you saw more blood dripping from the open passenger door. You moved your legs quicker and when you looked inside the front seat you felt bile rise in your throat. Dean laid there lifeless, his head hanging slightly out of the car as blood violently ran out of his neck. Dropping to your knees in front of his lifeless form, not caring it any of the broken glass cut into your knees. Cradling his head lightly, you pressed your forehead against his. “Dean,” you sobbed his name as tears ran down your cheeks. 

Before you had a moment to realize what happened the area around you changed again, your arms falling limp where you had been holding Dean. “What kind of sick joke is this?” you growled as you looked around you new surrounding, realizing where you were instantly. 

The once very organized library was destroyed. Books were thrown everywhere around the room. Tables were broken and in pieces across the floor. Standing up you slowly walked around the catastrophic room. The room you once loved looked like a battle zone. Looking down at the ground you noticed one of the pieces of wood, from what you assumed was a table, had blood covering it. A trail of blood drops lead off towards the other side of the room. 

Following the trail you let the tears fall down your cheeks knowing you weren’t going to like what you were about to see. The trail lead to the other side of one of the book cases and as you turned down the small isle you were right to cry

Sam sat there against the side of the bookcase. His hair was dripping was coated with blood and as you got closer you saw how bad off he really was. You kneeled beside him and placed your hand on his shoulder, letting your tears fall freely. You tried to find the reason for the blood in his hair and when you did you had to swallow down your own vomit. He had a large hole in the side of his head, it looked to almost go through to the other side. His brain was a pile of mush, no doubt from the wood you had seen earlier. “Sammy,” you sobbed softly, closing your eyes and burying your face into his shoulder. 

This time you felt the world around you shift. You continued to keep your eyes closed, mentally preparing yourself for what you might see next. Whatever this was, it was mentally and physically fucking with you. Taking a deep breath and clenching your fists you slowly opened your eyes, only to see a living Castiel backing away from something. “Cas?” you whispered and stood slowly. 

“Please, don’t do this,” he said gruffly. He didn’t seem to hear you, only focused on what he was trying to get away from. 

A dark laugh sounded from in front of him from, where you couldn’t see. “Why not? I killed the other idiots, why should I spare you?” that voice, it sounded so familiar. 

“(Y/N), this isn’t you,” he responded back in a warning tone. 

Your eyes shot open wide and you quickly moved to see past him. Your jaw dropped at the image of yourself holding an angel blade, covered in blood and chunks of flesh. “Oh but it is Angel,” your doppelganger laughed evilly. “You have to go, no hard feelings. She wants this and I need to please her.” 

Castiel quickly launched himself towards you-her. She quickly deflected him against a nearby wall and smirked. “Why are you doing this?” 

“She’s the real reason I’m still alive Castiel. She left some of her power inside of me, in a way she’s like my mother,” she tilted her head mockingly as she moved closer to Castiel. She quickly grabbed his collar and lifted him off the ground with one hand. “I would’ve thought that you would fight me harder on this. Sam didn’t, Crowley didn’t, and Dean definitely didn’t,” she gave him a toothy grin as he ran the angel blade across his cheeks. “Shame, I really did like you Angel,” her eyes quickly changed into a bright maroon color. 

“STOP!” you screamed, but neither of them could hear you. You tried to run to him but your feet were stuck to the spot. 

“Don’t do this,” Castiel choked out. 

“Amara commands me Cassie poo, she wants you dead. You only get in the way,” she grinned as she moved the blade to his chest and applied slight pressure, starting to rip through his clothes. 

“You don’t need to listen to her,” he groaned in pain, feeling the blade penetrate his flesh. 

“I don’t need to, I want to. Don’t you get it Castiel? I like being like this. I always have, just had too much nice in my life to see it. Now everyone who my humanity cared about is dead, well except you but you’re as good as gone. It’s a shame really, I did love you Cas, really,” she smirked as she sunk the blade deep into his chest. 

You screamed loudly and tried to run to him again as his grace left his body, leaving an imprint of his wings behind on the wall. “CASTIEL!” you screamed his name as she dropped his body to the floor. 

Your doppelganger turned to you and tilted her head to the side with a mischievous look on her face. “Did you enjoy the show (Y/N)?” 

“What is this?” you looked at her and continued trying to get away, only to find your feet still stuck in place. 

She pulled the angel blade from Castiels chest and began to walk towards you. “Well, I’m you  sweetheart,” she smiled evilly. 

“No,” you shook your head. “I would never hurt any of them.”

“Sure you would,” she shrugged. “After all, you’re evil.” 

“I am not, I am nothing like this,” you sobbed. 

“Let me tell you something, (Y/N) to well (Y/N),” she chuckled to herself and stood directly in front of you. “You’re going to meet the darkness, real soon. And she’s going to want you to join her. You won’t be able to say no, at least not for long,” she smirked and ran the angel blade across your jaw, still covered in Castiels blood. “She’s going to ask you to do some things, might take a little convincing but this,” she moved her hands to motion behind her where all four of the people you loved now lay dead. “This is what you’re going to become,” she snarled. “You can’t fight it.”

You turned your head to look away only to be grabbed roughly and forced to look back at her. “I will not become you,” you bit back. 

“Of course you will,” she chuckled darkly. “We were made to serve her, she gave us what we have. Our powers and our gifts, were all her. Sure we would’ve been strong and powerful, but with her juice inside of us we’re unstoppable,” she looked into your eyes and her maroon eyes shifted to a complete blackness. “She will awaken the darkness in you, the full power inside and you won’t be able to fight it.” 

“Let me go,” you fought to get out of her grip. “I will never be like this.” 

“Oh you will, because you will always be this way. You will always have this darkness inside of you, you’ll kill (Y/N) and when you do it will be the best thing you’ve ever felt,” she leaned in closely and whispered into your ear. “You are an abomination, you’ll just start acting your part,” she leaned back and smiled at you before throwing you to the ground roughly. Darkness quickly overtook you.

 

…

 

“I told you I do not know what happened,” Castiels gruff voice spoke amongst the darkness. 

“So she just, passed out like that?” Sam’s sweet smooth voice asked next. 

“Maybe she’s just faking,” Deans deep scratchy voice sounded lastly. 

Castiel gave Dean a sharp look before responding. “She’s been out like this for hours.” 

“Well, you didn’t really give us much information over the phone Cas,” Dean huffed. 

Castiel shifted his feet slightly from where he was standing and cleared his throat. “Some intimate things happened between (Y/N) and I, then she just passed out.” 

Sam and Dean both had looks of anger on their faces at Castiels confession. “What do you mean ‘intimate’?” Dean spoke first, using air quotes at the angels wording. 

Castiel looked between the brothers before looking at the sleeping form below them all. “She and I had sex,” he said bluntly before looking back up at them. 

They both shared a look of utter shock before Dean mumbled something incoherent and left the room. Sam cleared his throat and ran his hand over his face. “Do you think that maybe she was just overworked?” It killed Sam inside at the thought of you being with someone else, even if it had been months since you were together. 

Castiel shook his head and looked at Sam sternly. “We were in the shower and she was fine one moment,” he paused trying to think of the correct words. “The next moment her eyes rolled back and she screamed in what seemed to be pain, by the time I got her to the bed she was out cold.” 

“Cas,” Sam paused. “Is there something else you’re not telling us?” 

“What do you mean?” Castiel furrowed his brow looking at him. 

“Well, we haven’t heard from her in months. Then she randomly shows up at Charlie's,” he paused trying not to relive the moment. “She showed up at her hotel room, then just disappeared. Then it seems like the moment we released the darkness she just happens to black out. Does that not seem strange to you?” 

The angel nodded his head in thought and looked at the younger Winchester thoughtfully. “I’m afraid that’s not something I can discuss.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because it is information for her to share, not me,” Castiel said sternly. 

Sam shrugged and looked down at you. “Alright, I guess we’ll wait then.” 

Castiels facial expression morphed into one of concern and worry with what was to come of telling the Winchesters your most well kept secret. “I guess we will.” 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this one was a bit shorter but I was tired and thought that this would be a good filler chapter, because I like to keep people hanging. 
> 
> Please leave any feedback or suggestions you may have. 
> 
> This story is going to have plenty more angst and maybe some fluff, so just be ready for that poop storm.


	11. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally confront the boys with whats happening along with some rather new information that not even Crowley knew. Things are going to start getting a lot more real for you, and quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on this for a few days and hopefully it lives up to expectations! Thank you guys for sticking with me through all of this because this has over 1800 hits and nearly a hundred kudos! You all make me feel so loved. 
> 
> Please make sure to check out my other fics if you haven't already. I know I don't get these chapters out sometimes as much as I'd like to and those are there just in case. I'm going to try to have another part at least written before the end of this week but don't hold me to it. With my new job my hours are weird still. T
> 
> Thanks again and enjoy Chapter Eleven!

Images of the people you loved continued to race through your blurry mind. All of them going from good memories to gory bloodbaths, always ending in you covered in someone's blood. You knew you were still trapped in your own mind, there’s no way that these things could be real. You hated not knowing how long you were out of it for, not knowing what was happening in the world around you. The last conscious memory you had was Castiel telling you he loved you, and then everything went black. You hated yourself for not responding to him before everything happened. The truth was, you didn’t know if you were truly in love with him. You loved him, of course you did, but you also loved Sam and Dean. After everything happened with all of them, you shut off most of your emotions. It was a defense mechanism and you knew it but you wanted to stop hurting, but you also didn’t want to hurt them. Though, you wanted nothing more then just to turn off your humanity and let the darkness consume you.

You sat in an empty field picking at the dead grass in front of you. This was your only solace from all of the terrible things you saw. You didn’t know exactly who Amara was and why she had an interest in you, but every image you had contained pieces of information from her or about her. She was the darkness and apparently Gods sister, which you had a hard time believing. The thing you had the hardest time believing was that she was trapped in the mark. She was apparently the reason you were born, at least that’s what your doppelganger told you after she slaughtered everyone. Each day their deaths were different, you had just relived Sam's head being ripped off of his body. To say it was disgusting was an understatement.

You sighed softly and picked at a clover you found. “I don’t understand,” you huffed out softly.

“You know, sitting around denying the truth is just delaying the inevitable,” you heard your own voice say.

“Just leave me alone. You’d think torturing me as much as you have would have been enough,” you growled.

She sat down in front of you and smirked viciously. “You know, there’s some more things we should discuss.”

“Not interested,” you ignored her.

She laid her head in your lap and looked up at you with black eyes. “Oh come on angel,” she chuckled softly when you glared at her. “I’m hilarious.”

“What do you want?” you sneered at her as she sat back up.

“Well, figured I’d share some more interesting information with you,” she grinned mischievously, the black holes of her eyes looking at you.

“Okay, so share and leave,” you huffed in annoyance.

“Now now, no need to get hostile (Y/N),” she tsked at you.

“I’ve been trapped in my own mind for who the fuck knows how long, watching people I care about get murdered over and over again. I don’t care if I’m hostile, spill and get lost,” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Okie dokie,” she paused and thought for a moment. “Well, if you haven’t realized, I’m you.”

“You’re a figment of my imagination,” you rolled your eyes.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” she smiled. “I’m the other part of you, the evil part. I was kind of dormant for like ever, but with Amara being set free by those morons, so am I. Well, only as free as you let me be, although I have had some guest appearances.”

“What do you mean?” you furrowed your brow.

She shrugged. “Whenever you accessed your demonic abilities you were harnessing my power, when you got your angelic grace though, that’s all you. You could almost say that you have a multiple personality disorder.”

“I don’t understand,” you looked down at your lap.

“Let me put this to you clearly then,” she clapped her hands together. “When we were born, daddy Gabriel locked away your grace. However, he knew about there being two of us in our gorgeous head, so he locked me away.”

“Conceited much?” you looked at her skeptically. “There’s no way that’s possible.”

“Honey, you’re a demon and an angel. I think everything is possible at this point,” she pointed at you. “Now, I just need you to do me a huge favor and turn that humanity switch off. That’s the only thing keeping me from taking over your body. Plus, by the looks of it you don’t really want to go back out there. You’re not just in a love triangle but a love square,” she laughed loudly.

“What?” you scoffed.   
  
“You forget, I’ve seen everything you have. They are all practically in love with you, even ol’ Dean-o. But you’ve been whoring around and now you can’t choose,” she pouted at you. “Pour little Sam has been following you around like a lost puppy since you met,” she smirked. “Dean has been fighting his feelings for you from the start. I mean fucking some slut he met in a bar, that was just a tantrum he had because he couldn’t come to terms,” she stood and began to circle around you. “And dear ol’ Castiel, that sweet clueless angel. He’s been at your beck and call since you first called him Cassie."

“Shut up,” you growled.

“Make,” she laughed. “Me.”

You growled and quickly jumped to your feet. “You forget who is the stronger species here,” you flashed your eyes bright blue. Your grace was weaker in here then it was in reality, most likely being from your two parts being split. You had angelic grace while she held all of the demonic powers. It was a good thing that angels held more power over demons. “I am tired of you tormenting me in my own fucking head,” you snarled and quickly grabbed her neck tightly. “Enough.”

She just laughed and smiled smugly. “Even if you wanted to, can’t kill me without killing yourself in the process. We’re one person sweetheart, whether you like it or not. We will become what Amara wants us too. I was just trying to cushion the blow for what’s to come. Gabriel shielded you from the truth when I knew the entire time. You won’t be able to resist her (Y/N/N).”

“I will never become what you want,” you hissed and lifted her off the ground, holding firmly still on her neck. “I will not take any more of this, you hear me. You made the mistake of pissing me off,” you threw her to the ground, hard. The moment her head hit the ground you felt your own spin and you fell to your knees, blacking out.

 

…

 

“How long has she been out?” Crowley looked at Castiel, concerned etched into his features.

“A few days, ever since the darkness was released,” he responded, looking down at your still motionless form.

[ ](http://78.media.tumblr.com/2276fd25a43ac7c2acef41498377a3d3/tumblr_inline_nf4e8bEGjj1sazdz0.gif)

 

“And why am I just hearing this, you giraffe,” Crowley growled at the angel.

Castiel pursed his lips before looking at the demon on the other side of you. “Because Sam and Dean don’t know about her yet,” he hardened his eyes at the shorter man. “They just left to go get supplies.”

“How exactly do you know about her then?” Crowley raised his eyebrow.

“She told me everything, and the fact you raised her. Which I do not wish to go into right now,” he answered as he looked back down at you, his face softening.

“You look a little too comfortable with her,” Crowley accused.

Castiel cleared his throat and turned his head to look out a nearby window. “I care very deeply for her. I have looked after her all these months and we have grown closer.”

“I see,” Crowley nodded. “Well, I am very pissed that I haven’t heard from her in months and the first thing I hear about her is that she’s practically in a coma,” he looked down at you and ran has hand across your cheek. “She may not be biologically mine, but she’s the one thing in existence I actually care about. If any of you morons hurt her, I will show you tortures you can’t even imagine.”

Castiel nodded. “Did you know she was part angel?”

“What?” Crowley scoffed.

“She’s part angel,” Castiel turned his head and looked back at Crowley. “Her father was Gabriel.”

“You bloody idiot,” he huffed. “You broke the seal to her grace didn’t you?”

“So you did know,” before either of them could say another word your eyes fluttered open and you groaned. “Honeybee?” Castiel was at your side in an instant.

“Cas?” you groaned out, blurrily looking up at your angel.

“I’m here,” he whispered and put his hand on your cheek.

Crowley scoffed at the interaction. “Of course.”

You turned your head towards his voice. “Daddy?” you sobbed and reached your hand out to him.

His face instantly softened and he sat on the other side of the bed not currently occupied by Castiel. “Hello my darling,” he smiled gently at you.

“What happened?” you looked at both men who shared a strange look.

“You don’t remember?” Castiel asked.

“The last thing I remember was being with you,” you paused not wanting to finish because of your father sitting by.

Crowley gave Castiel a dirty look before placing his hand over yours. “Darling, you’ve been out for days.”

“What?” you furrowed your brow and tried to sit up, only to be stopped by both men.

“It’s not wise for you to get up just yet,” Castiel said sternly.

You looked up into his eyes and a flashback of watching him die violently pushed it’s way into your vision. “Castiel,” you whimpered. Looking to your father another image played of his eyes being burnt from his skull. “Oh god,” you gripped your head tightly as tears streamed down your cheeks. “Make it stop.”

“Make what stop?” Crowley asked with his eyebrows raised.

The sound of your own laugh rang through your ears along with the cries of the men being murdered. “Make it stop,” you yelled and covered your ears. The moment you closed your eyes you felt your body being moved, you knew instantly that you transported somewhere.

Opening your eyes you looked around cautiously. Trees surround you and you were sitting in a small open area of the dense forest. “Well shit,” you huffed.

Standing on shaky legs, you brushed the dirt that had somehow managed to get on you. You ran your hand through your hair and sighed, this was not good. Having no idea where you were, you tried searching your body for your phone. Only to realize you didn’t even have pants on. You furrowed your brows and looked down at yourself. “How could I not feel the coolness of the grass on my bare skin?” you spoke to yourself. You were only wearing a long flannel and panties. The shirt must have been Sams, knowing all too well how big his shirts were on you.

Crossing your arms you decided to start walking around the forest to see if you could find a road. Eventually you started feeling the rocks and sticks cut into your bare feet, but it didn’t hurt as much as it once would have. You internally groaned, something must have been up with your senses.

You had been walking for what feels like hours until you finally found something. An old park ranger tower sat in the middle of an opening between trees. Nodding to yourself you pictured yourself inside, as soon as you blinked and opened your eyes you were in.

[ **** ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d5/15/19/d515197d40bd645260717faab874459b--bedroom-windows-treehouse.jpg)

 

It was run down and you could tell it hadn’t been used for quite a long time. There were a few lockers up against one of the walls and a table with what looked like the radio the one opposite of it. Walking over to the lockers you decided to check to see if there were any left over clothes. Opening one of them you groaned loudly when you realized there wasn’t anything in there.

“Try the one all the way to the right,” you heard someone say behind you, in a voice very similar to your own.

You did as the voice said and found a pair of cover all. Shrugging you decided it was the best it was gonna get. You slipped it on and tied the arms around your waist before digging through the locker, finding a pair of boots. Grabbing them you slammed the locker shut and turned towards the voice. “Wasn’t it bad enough tormenting me in my own mind? Now I’m seeing things,” you growled, looking at yourself.

She shrugged and sat on the table that held the radio. “Well,” she slurred out. “What else do I have to do? I’m trapped in our head, remember?”

Huffing out in response you made your way over to a chair that sat in a corner of the room. Sitting down heavily you began to put the boots on. “Any idea where I’m at?” you asked as you tied the shoelaces.

“Somewhere in the woods,” she shrugged and looked at her fingernails. You gave her a dirty look when you stood back up, looking out the windows. “How am I supposed to know?”

“You seem to know everything so, thought I’d ask,” you sneered at her.

“Why don’t you get on the radio, call the angel?” she raised an eyebrow at you, crossing her legs. “I’m sure he’d come get you, maybe have a little fun in the process,” you sneered at her as she leaned back on her arms.

“I can’t look at any of them without seeing the shit you planted in my brain, so not a chance,” you crossed your arms and continued to look over the vast landscape.

She shrugged and kicked her legs against the table. “Just an idea, princess.”

“Don’t call me that,” you turned your head to give her a dirty look. “What do you want?”

“I want you to give in to your darkest desires (Y/N/N), I’ve seen everything you’ve seen. I know you want to, just flip that humanity switch and the pain will all be over. You won’t have to worry about loving anyone or choosing who you want to be with anymore,” she smirked at you. “Plus, I’m bored. My little cage in your minds broken so I can have a little more free range.”

“Doesn’t mean I want you here,” you paused and walked to the other side of the building, looking at the mountains in the background. “I’m not going to give you what you want, I’m not stupid.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” she snickered. “You really want to find out where you are, summon the angel or something. Worst case you see his death again, at least you won’t be lost.”

“I could just fly back there,” you glared at her.

“Ah, yes. I forgot you can teleport,” she nodded her head. “Why not just fly somewhere else then?”

“I want to be alone,” you sneered and looked back out at the mountains.

“Secluding yourself isn’t going to help you know,” she pursed her lips. “Believe me, I know. I was secluded in there for a very long time.”

“Don’t care,” you rested your hands against the window ledge and watched as birds flew overhead.

“Not to mention,” she leaned forwards and rested her elbows on her knees. “You have to confront those pesky Winchesters eventually. Especially before Castiel or Daddy dearest blabs. Can’t just disappear sweetheart, they may know about you. But I guarantee that they won’t believe much of anything. You were in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and the only way to get out that fast would be to teleport. And the only person they knew could was Castiel, they don’t know about Crowley.”

You growled softly. “Fine, then I just won’t go back.”

“Bullshit, you’ll go back. You care about them too much not to. Especially since you already lost that nerdy redheaded lesbian,” she chuckled softly.

You moved to her quickly, throwing her to the ground. “You may be a hallucination but you do not get to talk about Charlie. At all,” you snarled as you put your foot over her neck. “I want you gone.”

“Suit yourself,” she choked out before snapping her fingers, disappearing from your sight. Your foot fell to the ground with a loud thud.

You groaned loudly and gripped the table tightly. How dare she bring any of them up, especially Charlie. Clenching your teeth you threw the radio of the table, shattering it into pieces when it hit the floor. Grabbing the table you lifted it and brought it down quickly, breaking the legs under it completely off. You threw the table top at one of the windows, effectively breaking it into pieces as the table flew out of it.

Screaming loudly you ran to the lockers, ripping them off of the wall, before collapsing in the middle of the room. So many thoughts ran through your head. _‘Why am I so weak?’ ‘Why can’t I protect the ones I love?’ ‘I should be dead, not her.’_

Breathing heavily you ran both hands through your hair. You knew she was right, one of them would tell the Winchesters. You were in fact dangerous, even if you never acted out and did something bad, you had the power to hurt people. That’s what they did, they hunted things and saved people. If you became one of the things that needed to be put down, nothing would stop them. Crowley may try to keep you safe but what happens if she was right about the visions, you couldn’t afford to risk hurting anyone.

Crawling over to the door of the room you pressed your face against it. “Fuck,” you breathed out. Clenching your eyes shut the image of your father lying dead in front of you came back. “NO,” you screamed and beat your hands against the door, cracking it in the process. “Stop, please,” you sobbed. “You won’t break me,” you whispered as you opened your eyes and placed both hands against the door. You had to tell Castiel, he may be the only one who could help you.

Sitting back on your heels and taking one more deep breath you prayed to him. _“Castiel, can you hear me?”_

Almost immediately he responded. _“Honeybee? Where are you?”_ he sounded frantic.

 _“I don’t know,”_ you sobbed out loud. _“But I need to speak to you.”_

 _“Of course, just come back to the cabin,”_ he said relieved.

 _“I-I can’t,”_ you stuttered out. _“I need you to meet me somewhere, alone. Please.”_

 _“Okay,”_ he paused. _“Where do you want me to go?”_

 _“Meet me at a motel in Giddings, Texas. I will let you know which one,”_ you paused. _“Don’t tell the boys, or even Crowley.”_

 _“Then what do you suppose I tell them, they’re all worried sick.”_  

 _“Tell them you’re out looking for me or something. Don’t tell them we talked or where you’re going. They can’t know, not yet anyways. Just, please,”_ you pleaded with him.

You heard him sigh. _“Fine, but you will be the one to tell them when the time comes. They are going mad trying to figure out where you would go.”_

Sighing out loud you answered. _“Thank you, I will see you soon.”_

You closed your eyes ready to fly there when you heard his response. _“Be safe,”_ you smiled slightly before flying to the small town of Giddings, Texas.

 

…

 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Dean asked angrily, following Castiel to the front door of the cabin.

“To look for (Y/N),” he sighed heavily before turning back to look at the eldest Winchester.

“Do you have an idea where she is?” Deans face instantly softened at the idea of knowing where you went. “I mean, Sam and I have been looking everywhere around the cabin, she couldn’t have gotten far.”

Castiel nodded at him before looking to the ground. He knew that Dean still cared for you deeply, maybe even loved you, especially with the mark gone. Dean looked helpless with not knowing where you were and he felt horrible for keeping the information from his friend, but he promised you. “I do not know where she is, but I know that I can look a lot faster then you and Sam would be able to.”

Dean seemed to think about it for a moment before looking at the angel skeptically. “So you’re just going to walk around the area looking for her?”

“I would fly,” he said flatly.

Dean nodded and moved closer to his friend. “It’s a couple hours to drive to town from here, even further when walking. You sure she didn’t have help going anywhere?”

“I do not understand what you are asking,” he tilted his head and squinted at Dean.

“I’m asking if you flew her somewhere else,” he sneered. “I get it, you two are a thing or something now. But you have no right to hide her from me or Sammy,” he glared at the angel.

Castiel swallowed thickly. “I did not take her anywhere, I do not know where she is Dean,” he said gruffly.

“Well it sure looks like you know something,” he paused and pursed his lips. “I’m coming with you.”

“No,” Castiel answered quickly.

“You sure you’re not lying to me Cas? You’re a pretty horrible liar,” Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

“That is not true, I once deceived you and Sam to become god,” Castiel held his hands at his sides.

“Don’t remind me,” he huffed. “I’m going with you. Shouldn’t be a problem if you’re not lying to me, plus we can take baby. Since she couldn’t have gotten far.”

“I do not have time for this,” Castiel growled and turned away from Dean. He opened the door and walked out, only to be followed by the insatiable Dean Winchester. “Go back inside Dean.”

“What are you keeping from me Cas?” Dean yelled as he ran in front of the angel, placing a hand out to stop him.

“I can’t tell you,” he responded back, quickly moving past Dean.

“Why?”

“Because she asked me not to,” he looked back at Dean and glared. “And after what you did to her, I don’t blame her.”

“That wasn’t me,” he paused before Castiel began walking again. “Okay it was,” he ran to catch up to the angel. “But it wasn’t, it was the mark.”

“She will tell you when she’s ready Dean,” Castiel stopped abruptly when he heard your prayer. _Motel 6, room 32._ “Dean, I have to go,” he looked at the other man.

“I’m going with you,” he placed his hand on Castiels shoulder and gripped tightly. “Or I’ll track you and get there anyways, this would just be faster.”

“Fine,” he answered back gruffly, knowing you would be pissed. Surely what you needed wouldn’t be that bad though, right. He sighed and prayed to you. _“I’m sorry Honeybee.”_

“Awesome,” Dean smirked. “Let’s go,” Castiel nodded to him and in the blink of an eye they were no longer at the cabin.

 

…

 

You paced around your crummy motel room impatiently. You wish that you could have went to a nicer place but you could only get so much money from hustling someone in a bar nearby. He caught on quickly to what you were doing, so you had to flee.

Sighing you ran your hand through your hair and sat heavily on the single bed. “Hurry up Cas.”

Almost immediately you heard the familiar knock on the door. Getting up quickly you hurried to answer. What you thought would be a happy sight filled you with dread, seeing not only your angel, but the older Winchester as well.

“Hello, (Y/N),” Castiel greeted roughly, you could see the sympathetic look on his face. You knew Dean didn’t give him much of a choice when he left.  

“Cas,” you moved your gaze for the blue eyed angel to the green eyed hunter. “Dean.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean smiled gently at you. Something that you definitely didn’t expect from him.

You moved out of the way to let them inside, looking at the ground as they moved. Without looking up you grabbed Castiels arm and pulled him closer to you. Making sure to whisper so Dean couldn’t hear you. “Why is he here, he can’t be here right now.”

Castiel looked at his friend before looking at you. “He wouldn’t let me leave unless he came with me, he doesn’t know how you left or what’s going on.”

You nodded and released the angel, sighing heavily. “So, I guess you guys found me,” you laughed dryly.

Dean looked around the room before resting his gaze on you. His eyes held more softness in them then you ever remember being there, he looked tired and upset. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “Where is here anyways?”

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat. “Texas. Giddings to be exact.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he looked directly at Castiel. “You brought her to Texas? What the hell Cas?” he yelled at his friend.

“I didn’t do anything,” Castiel growled at Dean defensively. “She was still healing, I wouldn’t have let her go anywhere.”

“Then how the fuck is she here? She can’t just fly like you or teleport like Crowley,” he growled back, before looking at you. “Did Crowley bring you here?”

You shook your head from side to side before shutting the door to the motel room. “You shouldn’t be here Dean.”

“You just disappeared (Y/N/N), why shouldn’t I be here? I’ve been looking everywhere for you only to find out your hundreds of miles away,” he moved towards you quickly. “What the hell is going on?” he looked between you and the angel.

You raised your hand to keep him from getting any closer. The sadness in his eyes reminded you of the dreams, or where they visions of the possible future, you didn’t really know. “Cas, you need to get him out of here,” you looked up at him sadly.

The hurt in his eyes made your chest clench, he wasn’t the same man you knew months ago. The man that used you for sex and attacked you was gone, you could see that by the way he looked at you. “You can’t just push me away, please don’t.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” you whispered as he placed both hands on your biceps.

“Why would you hurt me?” he looked down at you as you placed your hands on his chest. You took a deep breath as the feeling of him being so close made your heart beat faster.

“Dean please,” you pushed him away slightly, trying to get a distance between you both.

“(Y/N), I think you should tell him,” Castiel spoke from behind you both.

“I-I can’t,” you started to sob as you backed away from Dean. You looked back to Castiel as a tear slipped down your cheek. “I don’t know what’s happening anymore Castiel,” you said as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

Dean looked like a kicked puppy because of how you reacted, which made you cry more. Why did this have to happen now of all times, he was a completely different man without the mark. You were a completely different person with the mark being destroyed. Flashes of your visions came flying forwards. Instead of Dean standing in front of you, he was laying across the bed with his chest ripped open. He heart had been ripped out and his other organs were scattered across the room.

You quickly covered your mouth to control the choked sobs trying to escape. All you could see was his dead body, you could hear both men speaking to you clearly but no matter what you did the image before you wouldn’t change.

“(Y/N),” you heard one of them yell your name as a pair of hands gripped your shoulders tightly, shaking you.

“(Y/N), what’s going on?” the other voice sounded.

Clenching your eyes and fists tightly you tried to control your mind. You knew it wasn’t real, but it felt like it was. Everything in you was telling you that it was going to happen, whether it be right then or in the future, you were destined to kill them.

Suddenly there was a hot stinging sensation against your cheek as someone yelled your name again. Opening your eyes you saw Dean, alive and in front of you looking like he was just slapped himself. “What the hell?” he whispered staring at something on your face.

You turned your head to find Castiel standing beside him, looking in awe. His eyes looked between your face and something behind you. You knew then that your grace had pushed itself to the surface. “Dean,” you whispered.

“Why are your eyes glowing like that?” he asked a bit louder, backing away slowly. “And why do you have wings?” his voice sounded shaky.

“He can see them?” you looked at Castiel confused.

He nodded. “Normally they would be hidden to every creature besides angels, yours are different. They can be seen by everything, but only if you choose to let them see them. You are distressed however, it is a type of defense as well,” He looked at you sadly.

You felt your wings move behind you in a flutter as they stretched. “Dean,” you looked back at the confused hunter as he stared at you.

“What are you?” his brow furrowed.

Taking a deep breath you looked down at your feet. “I’m a hybrid.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know so far we haven't seen much of the dynamic between the reader and Dean when he's not being an asshole, but that will soon change. Some fluffiness with him and Sam will happen again before the story takes a turn for the worst. However I will leave it to you the readers as to choose who she may end up with, I have an idea of how I want to take this but I would love some suggestions! Thanks again for reading! And just by the way I've never been to Texas, I just found the town and motel online.


	12. Cleanin' out the closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more truths are revealed. Dean finally admits to his own feelings after he hears something come out of your mouth that he doesn't think is true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, another chapter done and posted. Hopefully its up to par with the previous chapters thus far. This chapter does have some angst and some fluff with Dean, so enjoy.

“Wait a second,” Dean was sitting on the small bed of the motel room with you. His gaze was one of wonder and slight fear all at the same time. You had been trying to explain yourself for over an hour. To say he was angry about being lied to was an understatement but after awhile he seemed to understand. “So your father was that douchebag Gabriel and your mom was a knight of hell?” he looked at you with an eyebrow raised. 

“Uh, yeah,” you nodded looking at him before lowering your gaze to your hands in your lap. 

He huffed out a sharp breath. “You were raised by Crowley and in all the time I’ve known you, you’ve been part demon.” 

“Well, I’ve always been half angel too. The just didn’t show up until Castiel broke the blocker I had on it,” you said weakly as you ran a hand through your hair. “That’s why I never came back to the bunker. Well that, and I was afraid I’d hurt you again.” 

“It would explain what I saw though. I thought I just imagined it to be honest with you,” he swallowed thickly. “God, I treated you like shit and I’m so sorry,” he pressed the backs of his hands against his eyes as he took a deep breath. 

 

 

 

You looked up to Castiel who was standing near to window of the room, making eye contact with him briefly. “It’s okay,” you hushed him and ran your hand up and down his back. “It wasn’t you, it was the mark.” 

He looked up at Castiel before moving away from your comforting hand, he hated himself for it, but he knew he needed to push you away. You were with Castiel now, at least that’s what he thought, he didn’t want to hurt you or his best friend again. “It’s not okay,” he stood from the bed. 

You shrugged and laid down on the bed. “I’m over it all,” you huffed out a dry laugh. “We both did terrible things, just have to move on from it all.” 

“Yeah, I guess so,” he watched you carefully as you brought your arm to rest over your eyes. 

“Now that you have told him, can you please tell me why you ran? And why you called to me and only me,” Castiel moved over to stand above you.

Pressing both hands against your face you sat back up on the bed and rested your elbows on your knees. “I don’t really know what’s happening Cassie,” you whispered and removed your hands, finally revealing just how tired and week you looked to both men. 

“What is happening, Honeybee?” he asked kneeling beside you. 

As Dean watched your interactions with each other he couldn’t help but feel jealous of the angel. In all the time he’s known you, he’s never seen you look so distressed and broken, but at the same time open, that was all thanks to Castiel. He had his chance with you, but ruined it because of the mark. He wanted nothing more than to love you like you deserved and seeing you in so much pain felt like someone stabbing him in the chest. His eyes watched as your form trembled lightly, trying to keep down a sob. Your words barely registering in his mind. 

“I’m seeing things Cas,” you choked out between sobs. “Ever since I blacked out with you in the shower,” you paused at remember the other presence in the room before continuing. “I’ve been seeing and hearing horrible things,” you ran a hand over your mouth. 

“Like what?” the blue eyed angel looked at you, eyes full of emotion towards you. 

You looked at him and then over to Dean. “When I was asleep or in a coma, I saw images of,” you clenched your eyes shut trying to calm your nerves. “I saw images of everyone I care about being slaughtered.” 

“They were just dreams though,” Dean said moving to lean against the wall by the door. 

“I don’t think they were,” you shook your head. “Ever since I woke up, I’ve been seeing the same things and sometimes they were different. Not to mention I’m seeing myself too.” 

“What do you mean?” Castiel ran his hand up your arm. Dean swallowed tightly as he watched his friend show more affection towards you then he’s ever seen before.

“In my dreams I saw myself kill you,” you looked at Castiel with a tear running down your cheeks. “All of you, and then she spoke to me.” 

“What’d she say?” Dean raised an eyebrow in your direction. 

“That I was meant to serve Amara,” at this both men's eyes opened wide. “That I’m supposed to join her and hurt the people I love,” you bit your lip looking down at your feet. 

“How do you know who she is?” Dean said with a slight more gruffness in his voice than normal. 

You looked up at him raising your hands in defense. “I didn’t even know she was real.” 

Castiel looked up at Dean, watching as the hunter clenched and unclenched his fists. “She’s telling the truth.” 

“I thought you couldn’t read her mind,” Dean scoffed raising his hand in your direction. 

Castiel looked back at you and ran his hand gently through your hair. “When I broke the barrier on her grace, it left an imprint on me as well. I can’t just read her mind, but I can tell when she’s distressed and lying if she ever is,” he pressed his lips to your head softly. “What else happened?” 

“Before I woke up, it wasn’t a vision. I was speaking to myself and I finally snapped at her. I knocked her out and that’s when I woke up,” you paused and took a deep breath. “When I saw you and Crowley all I could see was your dead bodies. All I could hear was your screams and cries for mercy.”

Dean's eyes were wide with emotion as you continued to explain what happened in your own mind. He knew all too well the feelings that came with even the thought of hurting someone he cared about. “Is that why you left?” he asked.

You nodded, not wanting to look at either of them. “Ever since I woke up, when I see one of you my image goes straight to someone either being hurt or already dead.” 

“Where did you go when you left?” Castiel asked as he ran his hand over yours. 

“I ended up in the middle of a forest or something. I never really did find out where I was, but after walking about an hour or so I found an old lookout tower for rangers. S’where I found these,” you gestured towards your coveralls and boots. 

“So you just wandered around the woods with only a flannel on and underwear,” Dean couldn’t help the small smile that graced his lips at the thought. “Not worried someone would find you?”

“I mean, I was probably the scariest thing in there. Didn’t give it much thought,” you pursed your lips. “But by the time I got inside the look out, I saw myself again. She was talking to me and I could touch her.” 

“Kind of like when Sam was having the visions of Lucifer?” Castiel asked.

“Maybe,” you sighed. “It seems more real though, like she told me where to find these clothes. There were at least 5 lockers in there and I only looked through one before she said something.” 

The both nodded and shared a concerned look. “And just to be sure, nothing like this has ever happened before?” Castiel said, turning his attention back to you.

“Nope,” you popped the P at the end and shook your head. “In my dreams she was the demon though, I was the angel,” standing from the bed you moved to the window of the room, looking out of it aimlessly. “I don’t understand what exactly is happening to me and why exactly it is, but I know that I’ve had problems controlling my darkness.” 

You heard footsteps before you felt a strong firm hand rest on your shoulder. “We’ll figure this out,” Dean said softly. 

“Was she really trapped in the mark?” you asked softly, not looking back at either of them. 

“Yeah, she was. She’s uh,” he moved his other hand to rub the back of his neck. 

“She’s gods sister,” you paused. “Before you ask, she told me that too. Also said Amara had a part in making sure I was born,” sighing you turned back to face them. “I need you both to promise me something,” you looked up at Dean who was still next to you, and over to Castiel who was still near the bed. 

“Anything,” they both breathed out breathlessly. Dean was looking down at you, staring at the way your hair fell against your shoulders and how your (Y/E/C) shimmered in the dim lighting. You were breathtaking, he’s always known that but hasn’t had the chance to really appreciate it in a long time. Castiel was lost in how sad your eyes looked, he could feel how distressed you were on the inside, even if you didn’t show it. His vessels heart clenched tightly having a strong feeling of what you were going to ask. 

Taking a deep breath you rested your hand over Dean's, reaching your other out to take Castiels. “I know how you both are, you won’t hesitate to drop everything and save me if you need to,” you smiled at them both as Castiel took your other hand. “And I love that about you both, but I need you to promise me that if I go dark side, you won’t try to save me. If what I’m seeing is any idea of what's to come, you need to be the ones to put me down.  I don’t know how you’ll do it, but I can’t hurt any of you. Do you understand?” 

“(Y/N), I can’t pro-,” Dean started before Castiel cut him off. 

“We promise,” he looked at you with soft eyes, not seeing the glare Dean gave him. 

“No, I will not promise that,” Dean scoffed and moved away from you both. “How can you even say that to her Cas? Aren’t you supposed to be a thing, you’re supposed to want to save her.” 

You looked up at Dean and tilted your head to the side, opening your mouth to say something but only to shut it again when Castiel answered. “I can promise it because I care about her Dean,” he growled. 

“If you care then you should want to keep her safe,” he growled back and moved into the angels personal space, getting into his face. 

“Why does it matter to you Dean?” he raised his eyebrow at the younger man. “You treated her like garbage practically the entire time you have known her,” Castiel practically snarled, getting right back into Dean's face. “You know why I would promise her something like that, even if it would hurt me? Because I love her Dean,” the angel paused and looked at you. “I know how much it would kill her if she did something to anyone who did not deserve it. I would rather take her pain away then make her live with it, even if it would kill me in the process.” 

“Are you a fucking moron?” Dean pushed Castiel back. “You don’t just kill someone you love, you fight for ‘em,” he raised his lip in a snarl. “You make sure they don’t go darkside in the goddamn beginning.” 

You watched as Castiel’s jaw clenched and he made a calculated step to the side. “You’d rather her suffer? From how it sounds, it could be like possession.”

“We never let it get that fucking far then,” Dean yelled at the other man. 

Deciding you didn’t want to watch them get into a fist fight you walked over and placed your hand gently on Dean's back, feeling him tense but quickly relax under your touch. “Please stop fighting,” you said gently. Dean turned his head to look down at you and saw that the fight had practically left your eyes.

He turned and placed his hands on the sides of your face, gazing intensely into your eyes with his dazzling greens. Your breath caught in your throat at how intense his stare really was. “Sweetheart,” he said gently, resting his forehead against yours, not caring about being in the presence of another person. “You can’t think like this, okay? You’re not an evil person, remember that vamp you took out months ago and you asked if I was worried?” you nodded the best you could with his hands still on your face. “Well I lied about what I told you, I was fucking scared shitless because I didn’t know if you were okay. When we fell asleep that night, I wanted nothing more then to wrap you in my arms and never let you go. I didn’t know why you did that but I didn’t see anything evil, I saw a girl on the edge of losing control. I know all too well how that is (Y/N/N), I know what it’s like to need to kill something and how much you hate yourself for needing it. I kept pushing you away because I was afraid I’d fall for you and then lose you,” he swallowed and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “But even in the process of pushing I still fell for you, I love you, Sweetheart and I hate myself for not telling you sooner,” he whispered just a breath away from your face. “You are not and will never be evil, you hear me.” 

Taking a deep breath as you felt your stomach drop from his words you took a step away from him. Castiel and Dean had just both admitted their feelings for you, this couldn’t happen. Especially not now. “Dean I-,” you stuttered out, looking around the room only to see the two of you were alone. “Cassie,” you whispered out.

Dean clenched his jaw and looked around the room, only to find it empty as well. “Great, he knew I was right so he left,” Dean smirked at you victoriously. 

You glared up at him and scoffed, feeling anger course through your veins. “When are you ever wrong?” you questioned sarcastically and pushed past him towards the door. 

He grabbed your arm quickly to stop you. “Woah, where’s the fire?” his brow furrowed when you looked back at him. 

Pulling your arm away from him, you ran your hands down your face letting out a choked laugh. “I can’t do this right now Dean.”

“(Y/N), I’m so-,” he started but you cut him off.

“No Dean, it’s fine,” you rubbed your cheeks and shook your head at him. “You just, it's been months, you know? I get that you had the mark, but I told you how I felt. Only to have you push me away, now that Castiel has admitted he has feelings for me and you don’t have it anymore, you think it’s okay.” 

“I’ve always had feelings for you,” he growled out.

Turning away from him you laughed dryly. “Yeah right,” you scoffed. “Which is why you treated me like dirt, why I found you fucking some blonde. Which probably wasn’t the first. Probably why you never kissed me either, huh?” 

“I treated you like dirt because of what the mark made me into, I couldn’t control myself and I needed to push you away. That’s why I never made it intimate,” he sighed and paused. “The only time I ever slept with anyone else since we got together was after I heard you with Cas.” 

You looked back at him with your eyes open wide. “What?” 

He looked at you and ran his hand across his neck. “Yeah, I figured after that it was over between us. Afterwards she kinda heard me say your name and told me to man up, tell you how I felt. I was going to tell you, but then I saw you and Sam together.” 

Shaking your head you laughed loudly. “You thought Cas and I slept together when you and I were a thing?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I heard you guys. I was pretty pissed off,” he pursed his lips. 

“Well, I probably should tell you that what you heard wasn’t sex. I mean it was, but it was from the tv. We were watching that weird pizza man porno,” you rolled your eyes. 

“But I heard you scream his name,” he looked at you wide eyed.

“Instead of assuming that I was having sex with him, maybe you should’ve asked,” you scoffed. “He was tickling me Dean, because believe it or not Cas and I were friends. We hugged and did stuff like that, but he and I didn’t have sex. At least until a few days ago,” you shrugged and moved to open the door. 

“You didn’t have sex with Cas?” he looked at you dumbfounded. 

“Nope, at least not when you thought we did,” you shrugged. 

He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. “I ruined us.” 

“No, we were already fucked up Dean,” you chuckled. “You with the mark and me being part demon, we were a bomb ready to blow. We just happened to sooner rather than later,” you sighed. “I’m sorry, Dean. You need to let Cas do what I asked him to,” you opened the door but before you could walk out, you found yourself pinned to the wall near the door. 

“I’m not letting you walk away from me,” his arms rested on either side of your head and his body was flushed against yours. “Not again,” his lips were a breath away from yours and you couldn’t help but want him to lean forward a little more, to at least know what it feels like once. 

Shaking your head you looked down at the ground next to you. “You have to, I’m an abomination,” you smiled at him weakly. “You do what you would do with anyone else. One fuck up and I’m done, just don’t let me hurt someone.” 

He moved one of his hands to cup your cheek and looked into your eyes, his own glassy with unshed tears. “You won’t hurt anyone,” he shook his head and smiled at you grimly. “That’s not you.” 

You scoffed. “I’m a monster, we kill monsters. I turn and you need to do your job.” 

“No,” he said shortly. 

You shoved him off of you, watching him tumble back. “Why Dean?” you yelled. “Why won’t you just do this one goddamn thing?” you moved towards him. “What if I kill someone? What if I hurt my dad, you, Castiel, or Sam?” you pushed him again. “Is that what it will take? When it’ll be too late?”

He grabbed your hands and kept you from pushing him more. “Because I can’t watch you die,” he practically sobbed out. “And I sure as hell can’t be the reason. I already told you how I felt (Y/N), you need me to say it again.” 

“Fuck you,” you snarled and tried to pull away from him, not using your full strength. 

His gripped tightened as he looked you dead in the eye. “I’m in love with you, you stubborn ass.” 

“You don’t get to do this to me,” you felt the tears run down your cheeks before you knew you were even crying. “You don’t get to say these things to me after what happened. Not after I’ve moved on, you can’t love me,” a sobbed ripped its way out of your throat. 

“I can and I will, sweetheart,” he held onto you as you tried to rip yourself away from him again. “You’re like me though, you think you moved on but it was just sex with them. Right? Sex as a coping mechanism for your pain.” 

“No,” you barely whispered. 

“What?” he leaned towards you more, his face only being inches away. 

“No, it wasn’t just sex with them,” you finally ripped yourself free from his hold and wrapped your arms around yourself. “I thought it would be,” you said as you looked at your feet. “But it was never just sex with any of you.” 

“I have a hard time believing that,” he raised an eyebrow at you, making a small step towards you. 

You sighed and nodded. “When I was with Sam, at first all I wanted to do was get back at you for what you did. Turns out I care about him,” you shrugged still refusing to look at him. 

“And Cas?” he questioned.

“At first, I just wanted comfort,” you bit your lip and rubbed your arms. “It just happened.” 

“What about with me then?” his voice was thick with what sounded like jealousy.

You chuckled dryly and moved your hands to run them through your hair. “I was in love with you Dean,” you said just loud enough for him to hear. “At first it was just great sex, but then I caught feelings,” you gave him a sad smile. “All I wanted was for you to feel the same, but I didn’t want things to get more complicated than they actually were. I should have ended it when I felt more for you then friendship. Even when you treated me so horribly, I just looked past it all. I saw the real you through it all and I held onto that,” you rolled your eyes at how pathetic you sounded. “I had a job to do and I fucked it up, right from the beginning,” you moved to stand directly in front of him. “You should hate me.” 

“I could never hate you,” he looked at you sadly. 

“Yeah?” you cocked your eyebrow and smirked slightly. “Even after I lied to you? After I slept with you brother and best friend? After you find out I’m a monster that you hunt? Or what about the fact I was raised by the king of hell, sent to spy on you and moose?” you looked him in the eye and flashed your eyes their bright maroon color. “I’m a monster Dean-o, you need to put me down before I get worse,” you growled at him. 

“I’m not going to let you go dark side (Y/N/N),” he growled back. 

“You gonna stop me? What if it’s already too late and you’re sentencing yourself to death?” you snarled and got in his face. 

“Better me than you sweetheart,” he looked down at you with his lip curled in a snarl. 

“Why are you so fucking stubborn?” you went to push him and walk away, but were quickly grabbed. Dean had his arms wrapped around your waist with your chests pressed flushed against you. “What are you doing?” 

“Something I should have done a long time ago,” before you even had a chance to respond, Dean's lips were crashing into yours. It was sweet and passionate, nothing like you had imagined it would ever be. Feeling yourself start to melt into the kiss you tried to push away, only to have his grip on you tighten. 

Your lips moved in almost perfect sync when you finally gave into him. Moving one of his hands to cup your cheek he gently pushed his thumb down on your chin, asking you to open your mouth. Without thinking you did just as he asked, allowing him to slide his tongue against yours. You could taste the mint of his toothpaste and a sharp hint of alcohol, which you could only guess he was drinking before he came. 

You were so wrapped up in his embrace and his kiss you didn’t hear the flutter of wings. Only realizing you weren’t alone when you heard someone clear their throat. Quickly pulling away you turned to see your father, Sam, and Castiel all standing in the room. 

“Well, this is certainly awkward,” your father scrunched his face in disgust, while the other two men in the room had a look of jealousy flash through their eyes. 

“Hello, boys,” you smiled awkwardly, knowing that whatever happened next was going to be literal hell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed this part of the story. Please leave any feedback or suggestions in the comments. If any of you might have requests for one-shots or stories please follow me on my tumblr lr-supernaturaladdict. I'm always looking for new ideas for stories because some times I just need a break from my series. Promise to have a next part out soon, I work at a book store and with the holidays coming up it's going to be busy and I may not have as much time to write. 
> 
> Thanks again my lovelys!


	13. Awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being overwhelmed with all of the men in your life arguing over something out of their control you decide to go out for a little walk, only to be followed by the youngest of the men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the weird posting consistency. My work schedule is all over the place and I've just been to exhausted to do much of anything, add writers block to the list and its a huge mess. But here is yet another addition to Abomination. Enjoy!

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes. Everything happened so fast and you didn’t know how to handle it anymore. Dean finally admitted how he felt and then everyone else you cared about showed up. For the past hour they had all been arguing about whether or not I would go total dark side given the new information you had given them. Dean and your father were against ganking you if the time would ever come, but Sam and Castiel were willing to go with your wishes rather than make you suffer. You hated turning them against each other but they needed to understand what they wanted and what you wanted didn’t matter if it meant keeping you alive would possibly kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people. 

“Well, you certainly are the life of a party sugar,” you heard a very familiar voice say. “You have all these men wrapped around your little finger,” the voice tsked. 

Opening your eyes you looked around to see who was speaking to you, but you only saw the four men in the room who had been fighting still. You couldn’t help but groan slightly.

“I’m not going to let you kill my daughter,” Crowley yelled, his face turning a beet red. 

“We’re not going to kill her,” Sam sighed. “Unless she tells us too.” 

“She’s acting mental, you’re really going to listen to her Sammy?” Dean scoffed and looked at Castiel. “And you, after what you said to me you really want to let her go. Just like that? You’re both tools.” 

“It’s not our choice to make Dean,” Castiel glared at the green-eyed hunter. “You should know by now you can’t make other people's decisions for them, either of you,” he eyed up the demon in the room. 

“How dare you, you giraffe,” Crowley scoffed and moved to get into Castiels face, but before he could Dean pulled him back. 

“You can’t keep controlling her Crowley,” Sam stepped forward. “We know everything now and she’s an adult,” he paused and thought for a moment. “Well, a hybrid.” 

“You don’t think I know that,” Crowley growled and pushed Dean away. “I bloody raised her, she’s the one thing in existence I care about and the fact you all know that is sickening. However I will not let you harm her, no matter the circumstances. I would sooner lock her away in hell then let her do something like that,” at that you rolled your eyes and scoffed yourself. None of the men seemed to notice or just chose to ignore you. 

This time Castiel stepped forward and flashed his eyes his angelic blue, showing the lesser being the extent of his power. “I will not allow you to lock her away, she will make her own choices whether any of us like it or not,” he growled, sliding his angel blade down the sleeve of his trenchcoat. “If you don’t listen to my warning, there will be consequences.” 

At this your eyes opened wider, things were beginning to get angrier and more heated between them all. As you were about to step forward that voice began to speak again. “I wouldn’t step in if I were you,” it said. 

Furrowing your brow you thought to yourself ‘What the fuck?’ and walked towards the front door of the hotel room. “Hello?” you whispered as you got further out of earshot from the men. 

“You better be careful, they might hear you speaking to yourself and think you're crazier than you already are,” the voice snickered. 

You suddenly realized who the voice belonged to and that they were in your head, explaining why no one else in the room had heard. Quickly looking back at the group of men in the room to check if they had watched your weird behavior but luckily they paid you no mind. Sighing you imagined yourself outside of the hotel room and immediately felt the cool crisp air of the night hit your skin. 

“What do you want Gabriel?” you huffed out as you hugged yourself, walking further away from your room. “I told you I didn’t want anything to do with you.” 

The voice didn’t immediately reply but as you walked across the street from the hotel, you noticed a change in the weather. The cold night air warmed slightly and the once dark sky lit up slightly. You continued walking to the bar that was a few blocks down the road when you made it across the road. 

“You know, that’s no way to speak with the person who brought you into the world,” Gabriel said. 

“Yeah, well I don’t really care,” you scoffed as you felt a slight breeze and heard a familiar ruffle of wings. 

“Oh really? I couldn’t tell with how bubbly you are,” he said sarcastically walking up next to you. 

You stopped walking and turned to face him. He looked just like he had in your dream about him, only he had a bright aura about him. You could see his gorgeous golden wings and couldn’t help but gape at them. Before he noticed you gawking at him you quickly looked at him with a straight face. “What do you want and why are you tapping into my head?” 

“I can’t just pop in to see my daughter?” he raised an eyebrow and smiled at you. Scoffing again you turned and began walking towards the bar again, not answering him when he called out your name. “Alright, you got me okay. I need to warn you,” he said as he ran to catch up to you. 

“Why would you need to warn me?” you asked angrily. 

“Because of aunty Amara,” he sighed when he finally caught up to you. 

You stopped dead in your tracks, not turning to face him. “What about her?” 

“When she’s strong enough, she’s going to come after you,” he watched you carefully to see your reaction and when you didn’t move he continued speaking. “She’s going to use you to kill God.” 

Suddenly you felt a bubble of laughter slip out of your throat. You were laughing so hard you had to double over in pain. “You really are a trickster, huh?” you managed to speak between laughs and wiped your face of any tears that may have escaped. 

“For once I’m being serious Sugarplum,” he looked at you sadly when you looked at him. “Despite what you may think, I care about you and I know if she has her way you’re as good as fucked."

“Pft,” you shook your head and began walking again. “I’m not worried about her, I’ll be dead before then anyways.” 

“What?” he grabbed your shoulder quickly and turned you around to face him. “Why would you even say that.”    
  
“Castiel and Sam Winchester are going to find a way to kill me before I turn darkside,” you shrugged. “Either that or she takes me away as a puppet and I kill the people I care about, what kind of life is that.” 

“How do you know that?” he watched your face carefully, most likely trying to detect if you were lying. 

“I’m been having visions,” you bit your lip slightly at the memories. “I see myself killing people I love, I black out and then when I wake up I can’t recall what I have done most times, but when I do it’s horrible. Not to mention when Amara was released so was a part of me,” you glared at him. “Why am I even telling you this?” you huffed and pulled away from him. 

“Because I can help you hide,” he said as he looked you in the eyes. “From her and everyone else, I’ve done it once before and I can do it again. You’re my blood.” 

Rolling your eyes you looked away from him. “I may be your blood but that doesn’t make us family.” 

“Please, just let me keep you safe,” as your eyes met his again he looked as though he was going to cry. “Please.” 

“Why?” you whispered, you could feel your own eyes start to sting from unshed tears.

“Because I don’t want to see you hurt, whether it's mentally or physically. I’m sorry I invaded your dreams like I did, I just needed to speak with you at least once. I’ve always watched over you and made sure you were safe, it killed me to let Crowley look after you and to hear you call him father. So please, let me be a good father this one time,” he pleaded. 

“I-,” before you could respond you heard someone yelling behind you. 

“(Y/N),” it was Sam’s voice. 

You turned to look at Gabriel once more before looking in the direction of the voice, only to turn back and see that the archangel had vanished. “Yeah,” you yelled back, staring at the empty space in front of you. 

“Hey,” he ran up to you and placed his hand on your shoulder. “Everything okay?” he asked being genuinely concerned. 

Turning your head you looked up at him, meeting his hazel eyed gaze and nodded. “Sure,” you said haphazardly. 

“C’mon,” he said and bobbed his head back towards the hotel.

Pursing your lips you thought for a moment before answering him. “Actually,” you paused and grabbed his hand. “Let’s get a drink, yeah?” 

Furrowing his brow he looked down at your intertwined hands then back at you. Smiling you pulled on his hand in the direction of the bar you had previously been walking to. “You really think that now is the best time?” 

“Why the fuck not,” you shrugged and let go of his hand, turning away from him to start walking, missing the look of longing he held in his eyes. 

“Because some serious stuff has just happened,” he paused and watched as you started to walk away, looking at the way you moved your hips, completely losing his train of thought. 

“You don’t think I’m aware,” you said with a roll of your eyes. “Just, you coming or would you rather stay in a stuffy room with three other men?” 

He opened his mouth to answer but shook his head, knowing you were right in your own odd way. “Just one drink?” 

Your ears perked at the sound of him agreeing to come with you and you teleported back to him quickly with a smile on your face, but causing him to jump back startled. “Sorry, forgot you just found out I could do that,” you laughed slightly and shrugged. 

“It’s fine,” he shook his shoulder and stuck his arm out for you to grab. “Shall we?” 

“We shall,” you continued smiling up at the taller Winchester and looped your arm between his larger ones. 

 

…

 

“COME ON SAM,” You yelled, laughing at the taller man fumbling around to try to stand. “You hunt monsters for a living, are you really this uncoordinated?” 

“W-well, excu-se m-me,” he slurred. “Not everyone has an unbelievable tolerance to alcohol with the help of supernatural powers, well Dean might,” he put his finger on his chin in thought, causing you to giggle. 

“You have a point, he could probably drink a liquor store and be okay. Not even Cas can do that,” you laughed and quickly got up to help him. “Why are you standing anyways?” 

“Um,” he paused and thought for a moment, man was he drunk. “I was going to ask you to do something,” he scrunched his face in thought. 

“What were you going to ask Sammy?” you shook your head at the normally very smart and collected man. 

“I wanted to ask you,” he paused and hiccuped, giggling at himself. 

“I think you had to much to drink,” you smiled and tried to put him back in the booth you had both been sitting at. 

“What, me? Noo,” he said as he reached for his empty beer bottle on the table, frowning like a child when he realized it was empty. “Did you drink my beer?” he turned and looked at you innocently, his hazel eyes meeting your (Y/E/C) ones. 

“No Sam, I did not drink your beer,” you motioned your hand towards the other side of the table. “I was drinking a rum and coke, remember?” 

“Oh, right,” he smiled brightly, showing his dimples off. “You know something,” he leaned closer to you, almost putting all of his weight on you. 

“Hmm,” you asked, again trying to sit him back in the booth. 

“You’re really pretty,” he reached up and twirled a strand of your hair. “When we got to your room and I saw Dean kissing you, god I really wanted to tear his head off. Hell, I even wanted to stab Cas when I found out you guys had been together,” he stared at his hand while he played with your hair. 

Taking a deep breath you looked up at him. “You did?” you asked. You had no idea Sam had felt that way about you. 

“Mhm,” he stopped playing with your hair. “Hey, wanna dance?” he asked wiggling his eyebrows. 

“I don’t think you’d be able to stand straight if we tried,” you said flatly, trying to process what he told you about how he felt. 

“Yeah,” he huffed a breath. “Yeah you’re right,” he finally sat back down in the booth, pulling you into his lap in the process. Before you could get up or say anything about it he continued talking. “God, I can’t stop thinking about you, you know? I kind of always had a crush on you, ever since we met and you were in that short little dress. Fuck, I may even be in love with you,” he said with a giggle. 

Your breath hitched in your throat at the younger Winchester's words, but you knew he couldn’t mean it. At least not when he was this shit faced. “Sammy,” you smiled at him and cupped his cheek. “You don’t mean that, you’re just drunk.” 

“You’re sexy and short,” he said with a louder giggle. “And I mean it, I mean it a lot,” he leaned against your hand. 

 

 

Sighing you ran your thumb across your cheek. “I think it’s time we got back, I’m surprised that they haven’t come looking for us yet.” 

“That’s probably because I texted them,” he said while running his hand down your arm. “Well, I texted Cas,” he shrugged. “I just wanted to spend time alone with you, to be honest,” he looked down, looking almost like a kicked puppy. 

Smiling you lifted his head slightly. “I had a good time Sammy, no reason to look so blue.” 

“You did?” he asked, his eyes sparkling slightly in the lighting you hadn’t noticed before. 

“Of course I did,” you kissed his cheek softly, lingering longer then you should have. “I always do, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss hanging out with you.” 

“I missed you too,” he watched you carefully as you pulled away from him, quickly placing his hand on your cheek. 

Your gaze met his as you watched his shift from your lips back to your own eyes. “Sam,” you whispered. He slowly moved his large hand from your cheek down to your neck, dragging his fingertips across the nape of it. Biting your lip slightly you looked away from him, fearing that things would escalate if you continued to stare at him. This was different then the last time you had been alone with him. Even though you were in a public area with actual people around, this seemed much more intimate. 

“I really want to kiss you right now,” he breathed out huskily, his face now only a breath away. 

“That’s not a good idea,” you looked back at him as you felt his breath against your lips. 

“Why?” he tilted his head slightly and brought his other hand up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

Swallowing thickly you felt a knot in your stomach form as your entire body began heating up. “Because you’re drunk and I’m a fucking mess.” 

“I’m not that drunk,” he whispered. “And no matter what happens, you’re fucking perfect. You understand me?” 

“What about your brother?” you said so quietly if he had not been so close to you he would not have heard. 

“He didn’t stop us last time,” he paused and licked his lips. “Plus, he’s hurt you enough.”    


“And Castiel?” you stuttered slightly. 

“They both knew how I felt,” he moved his hand on your neck and tangled it into your hair. “And yet they acted on their feelings rather than consider my own, I’m tired of everyone acting like mine don’t matter.” 

“They did?” you asked placing your hand on his chest. “Why did no one tell me anything until now?” 

He shrugged. “We aren’t so good at sharing our feelings unless we’re angry, dying, or drunk.” 

“Oh,” you looked down at your hand on his chest. 

He placed his hand under your chin and lifted your head to look him in the eye once more. Before you had a chance to say anything his lips connected with yours. It was nothing like the first kiss you had shared with him that night at the impala. This was sweeter and less hurried, you could feel him pouring the love he felt for you into this kiss. You knew you should have pulled away and stopped him before making things more complicated between the Winchesters and the angel but you couldn’t get yourself to. 

His lips moved against yours skillfully and carefully, almost as if he were afraid to break you. Bringing your hand up, you ran your fingers through his hair and gripped it tightly to kiss him back. He seemed a little surprised with how you responded but continued to kiss you, going as far as to run his tongue across your bottom lip, asking for entrance. 

Before you lost control of yourself in the kiss with Sam you pulled away, causing him to try and follow your lips. “Sam stop,” you breathed out heavily.

He opened his eyes widely and seemed to sober up instantly. “(Y/N) I’m so sorry.” 

“Sammy, it’s okay. I just,” you ran your hand through your hair and took a deep breath. “I need time to process all of this,” you looked at him sadly. 

“I understand,” he nodded and rubbed a hand against his scruffy chin. “I uh,” he sighed deeply.

“I get it, the alcohol took over for a bit. It’s alright,” you smiled at him weakly. 

“It’s not just that,” he pursed his lips. 

“I know,” you said before he could even say what was on his mind. He had feelings for you like Castiel and Dean. “I’m a mess.” 

“No no,” he shook his head. “You’re not, this isn’t your fault at all.” 

“Sure feels like it is,” you rolled your eyes and wiped your face. “First Cas, then Dean, now you,” you huffed out. “Not to mention my own mental problems,” you tapped your head. 

“That is not your fault at all,” he grabbed your hands softly and held them. “We’ll figure this out, okay? The whole Amara business and everything else, I promise.” 

You felt tears form in your eyes as your emotions began to get harder to control. “What if we can’t? What if it’s too late when we do?” 

“Hey,” he looked you in the eye. “Don’t think like that, okay? I know I just threw more shit at you, but at least you know we all love and care about you,” he sighed saying that outloud. “We won’t let anything hurt you.” 

“That’s not what I’m worried about Sam,” you trembled slightly. “It’s not meant to end well, I might hurt you all and I don’t want that. I can’t risk your lives in order to try and control me.”

“You aren’t risking our lives, we are,” he smiled sadly at you and ran a thumb across your cheek, brushing off a tear you hadn’t realized fell. 

“I’m sorry,” you said weakly. 

“It’s okay,” he embraced you tightly. “I know it’s probably the last thing you want to hear, but I do love you (Y/N/N).” 

“I know Sammy,” taking a deep breath you were about to answer when a familiar voice spoke first. 

“Am I interrupting something?” he said sarcastically. 

 

[ ](https://media.tenor.com/images/cac0970ca0e4840d46bececcd242793d/tenor.gif)

 

Pulling away from Sam you stood from your spot on his lap and looked up at the older Winchester. “Nah, but you missed Sam getting shit faced,” you responded normally, having your emotions back in check. 

“And me fondling your brother,” you heard a voice inside your head say, sounding much like yourself. “Man, three pieces of man candy wrapped around your little finger and you’re just gonna kill them,” the voice laughed loudly, sounding as though it was in the bar with the three of you. 

“Always next time,” he winked at you and sat down on the other side of the booth. “Figured you two had enough of a girl moment, you can braid each others hair later right?” 

“Yeah,” Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

You smiled at their normal demeanor even though you knew both were struggling with their feelings, speaking of feelings. “Hey, where’s Castiel?” you frowned and turned to look back from where Dean had come from. 

“He had business to take care of,” Dean said with a shrug and picked up your nearly full glass, drinking it all at once, making a grimace at the taste. “And here I thought you had good taste.” 

Rolling your eyes you chose not to make a remark at his comment. “And what business would that be?” 

“Well,” he drawled and smirked slightly. “Had you both been in the room you’d know.” 

“Dean,” Sam said annoyed. “Out with it.” 

“Decided that the only other person other than Amara, the ol’ bio dad, and the mother who know what you are and what you are capable of needed to be paid a visit,” he cringed slightly. 

“And who might that be?” you squinted your eyes at him and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Lucifer.” 


	14. I Love Lucy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is an asshole and Dean doesn't seem to be coping well with that fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, sorry for taking forever yet again getting a chapter posted. Home sick from work and figured I needed something to do so here is chapter 14!
> 
> Be ready for some smutty goodness guys, but you'll have to endure some angst and some pretty harsh language.

Pacing around the library of the bunker you waited for the Winchesters and Castiel to return from visiting Lucifer. You had agreed to let them go after a very loud and destructive rant. Apparently you still weren’t capable of controlling your powers when your angry, and lets just say angry at the time was an understatement. Tables and chairs had been flung everywhere, books had flown from their places on the bookcases. It took some time but the boys all managed to calm you enough for you to see reason. You had told them that you wouldn’t be apart of their suicide mission and if they were to go they would need to stay out of the cage. No need to give Lucifer the satisfaction of killing them all.

Hearing the loud slam of the bunker door shut you hurried to see what damage had been done. “So how did the boys trip go?” you asked sarcastically before noticing both Sam and Dean covered in blood. “Oh no,” you ran to them quickly. 

“We’re fine,” Dean said gruffly as he made his way down the bunker stairs. 

“You’re covered in blood,” you had your brows furrowed as you met him at the bottom of the stairs, Sam right behind him. 

“Just a little banged up,” Sam smiled slightly at you although he was clearly in pain. 

Looking at them both sadly you moved out of the way. “Go sit down.”

“We’re okay,” Dean smirked at you as he walked past you, doing his best not to limp. 

“Dammit Dean, you’re limping,” you huffed out in annoyance. “Go sit your pretty ass down,” you practically growled, causing him to look back at you with his eyes open wide. 

He quickly replaced his look of shock with his famous Winchester smirk once again. “And to think, I thought Sammy was the only one who would make me all tingly taking control like that.” 

Rolling your eyes you looked at the younger Winchester. “You going to be an ass about it too? Or will you let me heal you?” Sam's eyes shifted between you and his brother until he finally decided it would be best to just listen to you. You smirked to yourself when Sam walked over to one of the chairs that surrounded the war room table. “Now someone listens to me,” you say proudly walking over to Sam. 

“Yeah,” Dean scoffs and walks towards the hallway which held your bedrooms. “Of course he would listen.” 

“He’s just smart not to piss of the hybrid more?” you say with a glare thrown at Dean. “Speaking of which, where’s Cas?” 

“He’s not here?” Sam asks as he sits in the chair he had chosen. 

Raising an eyebrow in question you looked at the younger Winchester. “No, was he supposed to come back without you guys?” 

Not realizing Dean had walked up beside you at the mention of his missing friend his answer startled you. “He said he was going to come back to check on you.” 

“So he just left you guys with Lucifer?” you backed away from Sam so you could look at both of them. 

Wincing slightly Dean took a seat next to his brother. “No, we were about halfway back when he went poof,” he said with a wave of his hand. 

“And neither of you thought to call me and tell me this?” you said with venom in your voice, causing both men to grimace slightly. 

“Didn’t think about it,” Sam said quietly, just loud enough for you to hear. 

Throwing your hands in the air you scoffed loudly. “So instead of just healing you both and then coming back with you, he just goes MIA?” 

“Pretty much,” Dean purses his lips. 

“Yeah,” Sam said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Just wonderful,” rolling your eyes, you quickly moved towards them both. Not knowing what you were doing they both flinched back, only to have you press your hands to their heads, healing them instantly. “Since the angels missing, might as well tell me what happened and why you two got so beat up.” 

“Wel-,” Sam started, only to be cut off by Dean. 

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he stood quickly and made to walk away. 

Using your powers you made him sit back down, keeping them both pinned to the spot. “Neither of you are moving until you tell me,” you said with your arms crossed.

Giving his brother a dirty look, Sam practically told Dean to not be an ass about it. They both knew you would chew them out and tell them you were right, but you had a right to know. “Lucifer happened.” 

Feeling your stomach drop you looked at them both fearfully. “I told you both to stay out of the cage,” you knew exactly what would happen had Lucifer escaped 

“We did,” Dean huffed, running his hand against his scruff cover jaw. He hated remembering how the encounter with Satan went and he just wanted to let it go. “Drop it.”

“Then how the hell did he beat you both up?” you put your hands down on the table forcefully, looking Dean in the eye. “And don’t you dare say it doesn’t matter,” you could feel the anger bubble in your chest. 

Raising his lip in a slight snarl. “You don’t need to fucking yell at us about it, we went to find out how to help you,” Dean stood quickly, getting into your face and causing you to back down slightly. You hadn’t expected him to be able to stand but you must have released him on accident. 

“I wouldn’t yell if you didn’t get so damn defensive about a simple question,” you regained your stance and shoved your finger into his chest. “I told you not to go, then I tell you not to go in the cage. Sure as hell looks like you did just that,” you pushed him back softly, making sure not to use your full strength. “Lucifer is bad news and I know he did and said shit to you, just to get a reaction.” 

“Enough,” Sam finally stood and attempted to separate you both.

Both of you turned to look at Sam and yelled at him. “NO!”

“I’m not backing down until he accepts that I was right and lets you tell me what happened,” you growled. 

“You want to know what fucking happened?” Dean practically yelled in your face. 

“Dean,” Sam said gruffly, using his hunter voice. 

“Yeah, what the fuck happened Dean? Did lil’ ol’ Satan hurt your feelings so you wanted to try and teach him a lesson?” you huffed a dry laugh, you could feel the darkness inside of you wanting to take control, saying things you didn’t mean. 

Dean looked at his brother from the corner of his eyes, seeing Sam look at him with his puppy dog eyes, he knew he shouldn’t egg you on further. Sighing he ran his hand through his hair and waved it in your direction. “Forget it, if Sam wants to tell you, he’ll tell you,” and with that he turned and walked away towards his bedroom. 

You watched as he walked away, to say you were confused was an understatement. His moods were more off than yours were right now. You thought that since the mark had been gone he would have been able to control his anger better but it seems as though you still got on his nerves, even after his confession to you about his feelings. Seeing them both hurt the way they were hurt you deeply and all you wanted to do was help but he didn’t seem to care either way. 

“I’m sorry,” Sam said softly, placing his hand on your shoulder he turned you to face him.

“Why are you sorry? You haven’t done anything wrong Sammy,” you smiled at him and put your hand over his. 

“I’m sorry because of him,” Sam rolled his eyes slightly and gestured his head in the direction of the bedrooms. “I think he’s just upset because of what happened.” 

“Well if I had known what happened I may have been able to make him not as pissed,” you sighed and ran your hand through your hair. “The past few days the darkness inside of me has just been itching to get out and that stubborn ass has not helped.”

Rubbing the back of his neck he looked away from you briefly and sighed. “Lucifer said some things that were pretty upsetting, to all of us actually. And then things kind of went from there.” 

“What happened?” you swallowed thickly, knowing something terrible happened. 

 

Third Person POV:

“Well well well, what have we got here,” Lucifer chuckled looking at the three men walk towards his cage. “If it ain’t the plaid wearing wonder brothers and my darling winged brother, to what do I owe this pleasure. Hey, Sam Winchester, you miss me?”

 

Dean rolled his eyes and walked up to the cage, looking the devil in the eyes. “We have some questions that you’re going to answer,” he shrugged and pulled out his angel blade. “Either the easy way or the hard way.”

“That toothpick of yours won’t kill me,” Lucifer sneered, looking at his brother and his true vessel. “You boys bring anything better?”

“Lucifer, we need to ask you about (Y/N),” Castiel said in his gruff voice, not paying any mind to his older brothers teasings. 

“Once we get what we came for, we’ll leave you be,” Sam added, always being the peacemaker. 

“(Y/N), huh,” Lucifer smirked. “Haven’t thought much about her since the last time I laid in bed loney.” 

Dean growled and stepped closer to the cage. “Watch it buddy.” 

“What do you want to know?” Lucifer asked looking into the eyes of the green eyed hunter. “Other then the fact she’s a great lay, which I’m guessing you’ve all figured out.” 

Slamming his hand against the bar of the cage Dean snarled at the fallen angel. “You wouldn’t know anything about how she is, let alone that. So shut your trap.” 

Raising his hands in mock surrender, Lucifer snickered. “Well I’m just saying what all three of you are thinking, considering I can see it in your simple minds. I could expect you two to fall into her lap, well vagina,” he pointed between both Winchesters. “But you to brother? I get she’s absolutely gorgeous, but to be with such an abomination is so unheard of for you. Tell me, how was tasting tainted goods? Enjoy the sloppy, what was it thirds?” 

Sam stood with his jaw and fists clenched in anger, he tried to hold back his anger knowing full well that his brother would show enough for the both of them. Castiel was the one to ultimately break first with his anger when he was suddenly right up against the cage wall. “How dare you speak so lowly of her?” he hissed out. “When you yourself were cast down by our father because you couldn’t love what he created, if anything she loves to much.”

“You really think that’s love?” Lucifer smirked and snapped his fingers, magically putting all three men inside the cage with him. “You want to know what it was like to be with her from the others points of view? No well I will show you anyways,” he continued smirking and snapped his fingers once more. 

In an instant all three men were reliving your sexual encounters with the others. Dean saw you in the shower with Castiel. Castiel saw you on the hood of the Impala with Sam. Sam saw you in bed with his brother, over and over again. All three men felt their hearts ache at the sight of you with another man, even with someone else they cared about. 

Growling Dean lunged at Lucifer with his angel blade in attempt to stab him. “You son of a bitch.” 

Laughing Lucifer swiftly moved out of the way and shoved Dean up against the bars of his cage. “You are really stupid, making a move a satan. You’re in my house little man,” struggling against the bars Dean continued trying to lunge at Lucifer. Lucifer enjoying watching him struggle didn’t pay any mind to Castiel and Sam come up behind him. Before they could attack him, Lucifer struck behind him. Effectively knocking both men to the floor, Lucifer swung a punch at Dean for extra measure. “She’ll be mine boys, believe me when I say that in a way, it was meant to be. You want to know her purpose and what she is? Well she’s a weapon made directly by the darkness, once she’s at her full potential and no one can stop her,” his lip curled in an evil smile. “I intend on making sure she’s taken care of boys,” he winked at Dean as he heard him growl. “But this cage won’t hold me forever and you’ll need me to help her control those urges.” 

“You sick son of a bitch,” Dean growled. 

“Don’t you dare touch her,” Sam snarled, trying to get up from the floor.

“I won’t touch her until she’s begging for it,” Lucifer snickered and kicked Sam in the stomach. 

Castiel attempted to reach for his friends only for Lucifer to step on his hands. “We won’t let you even near her.” 

“So you think,” with one last laugh Lucifer snapped his fingers and put them back into the Impala, telling them very little of what was to come of you.

 

Your POV:

“Dean?” you knocked gently on the bedroom door of the eldest Winchester. “Dean can I come in?” A sound of a very quiet grunt sounded from the other side of the door. Sighing you pressed your forehead against his door and knocked again. “Please answer me.” 

“Fine,” you heard him huff and move around the room. 

Opening the door and entering the room you looked at him briefly before shutting the door behind you. You noticed his eyes were now bloodshot and he looked even more tired then he had been, his eyes were even slightly puffy. He must have been crying. “Sam told me what happened,” you moved and leaned against the desk in his room before continuing. “I’m sorry for getting so mad at you, are you alright?” 

He smiled at you with his famous Dean Winchester smirk. “Never better, sweetheart.” 

Rolling your eyes you ran a hand down your face. “Please talk to me De,” you looked at him, trying to hide the pain in your own eyes. 

“What’s there to talk about? Sam told you what happened. What’s done is done, Lucifer wants you to be his bitch,” he shrugged and looked down at his hands that rested in his lap. He sat up against the headboard of his bed and you watched as his hands clenched and unclenched. 

Standing up straight you moved to sit next to him on the bed, placing your hand over his you sighed. “Ever since the last time we were alone together you’ve been even more distant, I hate what he said to you,” you shook your head and took a deep breath. “I know what I am and I hate that I’ve hurt you all so much to the point the freaking devil can use it against you,” you squeezed his hand gently before removing it from his. 

“It’s not your fault,” he muttered under his breath, barely loud enough for you to hear him. 

“Yeah, it kind of is,” you laughed dryly. “What a way to treat each other, huh?” 

“What do you mean?” he looked at you with gentle green eyes that you remember him having the moment you met him in that bar. 

“We were idiots and we loved each other, yet we fucked like we hated each other. I had sex with your brother and best friend. You fucked some random girl in a bar,” you felt a tear run down your cheek at the memory of walking in on him. “Months later Castiel admits he loves me and I black out. You admit you love me and everyone walks in to see it. Sam admits it and he hates himself for it,” running your hands over your face you scoffed. “I ruined your lives.” 

“Our lives were already pretty fucked before you came into them,” he shrugged. “You just made it more bearable, well until recently.” 

“Gee thanks,” you pushed him slightly with your elbow. “What are we going to do?” 

“Well,” he ran his hand through his hair and bit his lip. “I’m going to stop the devil from becoming your suga daddy.” 

“Oh god, ew,” you scrunched your face and gagged. “He’s practically my uncle and grandfather.” 

“Isn’t Cas technically your uncle too?” he raised an eyebrow at you and smirked. 

“Oh shit, he is. Although it’s not as bad as Lucifer, he quite literally created my mother and was created like right before my father. I’m an incest baby,” you gagged and pressed your hands against your face. 

Dean let out a loud laugh and threw his head back. God you missed seeing him like this, he may not have been happy but at least he was smiling. “That’s pretty fucked up.” 

“Yeah,” you smiled slightly at him. “At least you got a kick out of it.” 

“Don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in awhile,” he took a deep breath and turned to look at you. “I’m sorry to by the way.” 

“Why? Did you plan my incesty birth?” you cocked an eyebrow at him, only causing him to laugh more. 

Once he finally stopped laughing again he took your hand in his. “For snapping at you, you only wanted to help and I was being an ass.” 

“You had a long day,” you shrugged and rested your head against your shoulder. “It’s understandable, plus you’re always an ass,” you smirked.

“Yeah that’s true,” he smiled down at you and ran his hand down your arm. “We’re both pretty screwed up, huh?” 

“Big time,” you sat up and kissed his cheek. “But I still think you’re pretty okay, Winchester.” 

“Yeah?” he asked with his eyebrow cocked. “Just okay?” 

You shrugged and put your hand on his cheek. “I said pretty okay, don’t put words in my mouth,” you smiled at him and patted his cheek. 

“Well I guess you’re pretty okay yourself,” he said as he nuzzled his face against your hand. “I missed you,” he breathed out softly, placing his hand over yours and holding it in place. 

Running your thumb over his cheek you pressed your forehead against his. “It’s going to be okay Dean.” 

He laughed softly. “I should be the one telling you that,” he took a deep breath. “Why are you the person who can infuriate me the most, but also the person who can make me forget about all the bullshit?” 

Shrugging you looked in his dazzling greens. “I ask myself the same question about you sometimes, especially with the mark.” 

He closed his eyes for a moment, squeezing your hands tightly. “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you when I had that thing. You never deserved any of that.” 

“Well,” you smirked slightly. “There were a few times I did deserve those spankings.” 

Breaking into a breathtaking smile, which quickly turned into a panty dropping smirk his voice was deeper and huskier. “Sweetheart, you always deserved those,” the moment he opened his eyes you noticed the change immediately. Those were the Dean Winchester eyes you became accustomed to frequently, whether it was when you rode him or when he was on top of you. 

“Dean,” you said softly, finally noticing how close your faces were to each other. You knew it was a bad idea to be with him again, especially when you cared for two other men. It wasn’t fair to him or them. Taking note of him moving closer to you, you placed your hand on his chest to stop him. “We shouldn’t.” 

“Why?” he whispered, his lips only a breath away. 

“Castiel and Sam,” you blinked and looked him in the eye, having a hard time concentrating on controlling yourself. 

“After what I saw, I don’t care anymore,” he swallowed thickly and ghosted his lips over yours. “If you don’t want me, or this then tell me. I,” he paused and licked his plump lower lip, causing your eyes to immediately look at them. “I want you (Y/N/N), I meant what I said in the motel. If you feel the same then great,” he shrugged and looked away for a moment. “If you don’t anymore, that’s okay too. But if you do then please, tell me.” 

Taking a deep breath you centered yourself once more. “I do Dean, but I care about them too. I love you all,” you whispered. 

“Then we’ll make it work,” he placed his hand on the back of your neck and looked you in the eyes. “I’m not going to lose you, we’ll make it work,” before you had a chance to answer Dean crashed his lips to yours. 

You instantly reacted and gripped his shirt tightly, holding him to you like your life depended on it. Your lips moved together with his almost like they were made for each other. Using the hand on the back of your neck, Dean gripped your hair tightly, tilting your head back slightly to have better access of your mouth. Sliding his tongue against your bottom lip asking for entrance, you gladly gave it to him. 

The hand not holding onto you for dear life made its way down your back. His hand slipped under the hem of your shirt and made its way back up to your bra strap, effectively snapping it open. Gasping slightly at the sudden change you felt him smirk against your lips. “I forgot how good you were at that,” you pulled away from him briefly, breathing heavily. 

His lips attempted to follow you but when you put your finger over them he let out a soft whine. “Seriously? I’ve waited so long to have you again and you do this,” he groans and slams his head back against the headboard. 

“So impatient,” you tsked him and sat up on your knees. “I just wanted to show you what I can do with my new powers, but if you’d rather not that’s okay.” 

“Does it involve you getting naked?” he smirked again at his joke. 

“Actually yeah, and something else too,” you smirked at him and snapped your fingers. You felt the sudden chill down your spine now that you were naked. You learned that you could make your clothes disappear one of the first days you had grace, you normally just had them placed in the hamper after removing them. 

“Holy shit,” he breathed out at the sight of your naked form in front of him. He’d never admit to himself how much he truly missed you, you were the most beautiful person he had ever been with and he loved your body. When you had been together before he never truly showed you how much he loved it, he chose to change that. “Lay down.” 

“So eager,” you giggled and laid down on the bed, prepared for him to just fuck you. “Barely noticed you were naked yourself.” 

As he moved to lay above you he looked down at himself and shrugged. “Why would I when you’re here?” he whispered against your ear and kissed your neck softly. 

Running your hands through his hair you noticed he was acting completely different then what you had been used to. Normally Dean was eager to be inside of you, almost always skipping foreplay. You whimpered slightly as you felt him bite your shoulder, leaving his mark there, while running his hand down you body. “Dean,” you sighed softly. 

“I love hearing you say my name like that,” he moved his head and kissed you softly. Squeezing your hip slightly he pressed you to his body tightly, almost afraid that if he let go you’d disappear from him. You felt his length press against your thigh and as you were about to ask him what was taking him so long you felt his other hand graze your folds. You gasped against his lips as he rubbed you, just barely giving you any satisfaction that you needed. Gripping the hair at the nape of his neck you broke the kiss and pressed your forehead against his, your breathing became labored. His hands began to work more skillfully, working one digit in and out of you while his thumb occasionally grazed your clit. You both maintained eye contact throughout and you were sure that your eyes were as lusted over as his. 

He continued working your over slowly until you were sure he was as worked up as you were, you could barely control yourself at this point. His teasing was almost seemingly endless and you wanted nothing more then released. “Dean, please,” you whispered against his cheek. 

“Who am I to deny you since you asked so nicely,” he whispered back against your cheek. Moving the hand not currently working over your core to the back of your neck, he gripped your hair tightly, pulling your head back against the bed. Thrusting multiple fingers in at once he began to fuck you with his fingers harder, effectively hitting your g-spot with each thrust. He had you turned into a moaning mess in seconds. Kissing you to help contain the noises you made, you heard him grunt himself as he felt you constrict around his fingers. Eventually the coil building in your stomach snapped and you came with a loud moan, swallowed by Dean as he kissed you. 

As you came down from your high, he pulled away with a smug grin on his face. “I guess you are as good with your hands as I thought you’d be,” you smirked at him as he sat up on his haunches. 

“Oh, you’d think that, but I’m even better with my mouth,” he brought his hands up to his mouth and sucked his fingers clean. “I’m nowhere near done with you, I have a lot of time I need to make up for.” 

Before you had a chance to ask what he was talking about he had your legs in the air. Moving so that your legs were now over your shoulders Dean laid down on the bed, his mouth hovering over your slick heat. You never got a chance to react before his lips and tongue were on you. He had never done this for you before and it all took you by surprise. Feeling his tongue lick up your slit had you moaning more than you had before. It wasn’t like you had never had anyone go down on you but he was different, better even. Placing one hand in his hair you gripped tightly, almost holding him to you while the other gripped the edge of the mattress for dear life. As he moved his lips to your clit, he sucked gently, moving one of his hands to gently stroke your folds in a teasing manner. His other hand slide up your side to your chest, groping your breast lightly before pinching your nipples. “Dean,” you almost squealed. 

Smirking against you, he sucked harder on your clit while pinching your nipple harder as well. Inserting his fingers back inside you he curled them just right, causing another orgasm to crash through you. Your grip on the mattress was so tight you ripped part of the seems, making a large hole in the end. Once he worked you through your second orgasm, he slowly kissed up your body, caressing and groping your body as he went. “I take it I did good,” he huffed out a laugh upon seeing the new found hole in his bed. “You’re fixing that.” 

“It just gives it more to remember, shh,” you hushed him and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him with all the energy you had left. Quickly flipping him onto his back you straddled his waist. 

“You know, ever since we got into that fight, I’ve thought about you on top,” he chuckled and ran his hands up your thighs. 

“You’re insatiable. You know that,” you smiled at him and ran your hands up his stomach. 

“So are you,” he sat up and captured your lips in a heated kiss, not breaking contact as he lifted your hips and lined himself with your entrance. As you sunk yourself down onto him you both hissed at the contact. “Fuck, I forgot how good you felt,” he broke the kiss.

“Really? I thought I was unforgettable,” you moved your hips slightly, biting your lip to hold back a moan. 

“Yeah,” he said through clenched teeth at the feeling. “You’re right, you are but fuck. I never got used to how good you felt on me.” 

Before you had a chance to make a snappy comeback his lips consumed yours once more and his arms wrapped around your body. Wrapping your arms around his neck you starting to move yourself slowly, lift off of his length every so often just to sink back down on it. You felt one of his hands slide up your back and grip your shoulder, holding you down to him tightly, while the other made its way to tangle in your hair. He held you to him tightly as he moved onto his knees. Breaking the kiss slightly, only so your lips were less than an inch apart he started to work you up and down on his cock slowly, while his hips thrusted up into you. “Dean,” you breathed out his name softly. 

“I know baby,” he said back just as quiet, pressing his forehead to yours in such an intimate way that you could tell he wasn’t the same person you were once with. 

Moaning slightly as his cock grazed your g-spot he instantly increased the pace. He was making love to you and you couldn’t get enough of it. He watched you intently, clenching his jaw holding back his own release to make sure you hit yours first. One more hit to your g-spot and you were a goner, your third orgasm didn’t his you as hard as the last two but in a way this one was sweeter. It was strong and hard, just like the man you were with, you didn’t know what overcame you but you couldn’t help the words that slipped out. “I love you, De.” 

His lips were on yours instantly as he continued to thrust up into you a few more times, until he finally met his own release. Opening your mouth in a silent moan at the feeling of his warm seed coat your insides, he moved to kiss your neck again. “I love you too, (Y/N).” 

Laughing slightly you moved your hand to run through his hair as you both caught your breath. “We’re terrible people.” 

He laughed with you and moved one of his hands to stroke your cheek, not moving to remove himself from you yet. “The worst.” 

Sighing you pressed your forehead to his cheek. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“We’ll figure it out,” he whispered into your neck, holding you tightly to him. 

“God, I hope so,” you kissed his cheek and sat up, moving yourself off of his lap. You heard him hiss as he pulled out of you, instantly missing the feeling. Snapping your fingers you made your clothes reappear next to you on the bed. 

“Will you please,” he paused and rubbed his neck. “Please stay for a bit.” 

Looking back at him you nodded. “Of course,” you smiled at him slightly, laying down on his bed. 

Laying down next to you he engulfed you in his arms, pulling you to him tightly. “I’m sorry if I just made things more complicated.”

“Don’t be,” you leaned back against him, pressing your back to his chest. “I meant what I said, I just think that I feel the same for them to,” you sighed.

Kissing your shoulder he ran his hand up and down your arm. “I may not like the idea of having to share you, but I’m willing to if they are,” he whispered against your skin. “I’m not losing you though.” 

“Really?” you looked back at him with your eyebrows comically raised. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled slightly. “With all the shit happening right now with Amara and you with your evil twin inside, can’t afford not to if it’s the one good thing we got. You know?” 

Smiling more to yourself you nodded. “I know, we’ll talk to them then.”

“Later though, right now you’re all mine,” he squeezed you tightly before pulling his blanket over you both. “Also meant what I said, you have to fix my bed.” 

“Why when it’ll probably happen again?” you smirked and looked back at him. 

“You naughty little girl,” he raised his eyebrow in a way that screamed dominance. So he was still a Dom even when he didn’t have the mark, this should be fun. 

 

 

 

_ Meanwhile in the cage: _

“You really are an idiot,” Lucifer smirked, looking down at his brother whose face was beaten and bloody. 

“I need you to help us,” Castiel coughed slightly, feeling the blood drip down his lips. 

“I already told you my answer Cassie, can’t help if I’m in the cage,” he said in a sing songy voice. 

“I just want answers,” Castiel huffed out between ragged breaths. 

“I gave you all that I’m willing to answer, she’s fucked no matter what you do. Few and far between can help her from becoming the abomination she truly is,” Lucifer's lips curled in an evil sneer. “But I tell you what, if you let me out I’ll help save her.” 

“How do I know you would betray us?” Castiel looked up at his older brother skeptically. 

“Well you don’t, but if you let me use your vessel,” he shrugged. “Then you’d be able to see what I’m doing.” 

“Why would I do that?” Castiel attempted to stand defensively, only to be pushed down once again by his brother. 

“Your vessel would be strong enough to hold me and this way you can still keep watch over your little slut,” he hissed slightly at the mention of you. 

“Don’t call her that,” Castiel growled, making a move towards his brother again but realizing it’s useless. 

“This is a one time option Castiel,” he said slightly, as though he hadn’t just beat the life out of his own brother. 

Sighing, Castiel knew that this would be the only way to keep you safe from Amara and yourself. “Promise not to hurt her.” 

“I promise I won’t hurt her,” Lucifer said, smiling like a cat who had gotten it’s cream. 

“Then yes,” Castiel said, looking to his brother sadly. He knew it was a bad idea but it was the best one he had. He would do absolutely anything to keep you safe, even becoming a vessel for the devil himself. 

 

[ ](https://pa1.narvii.com/5985/fa83abcc33d6b8f1252b3c6dd9f8bb4338a6c5c1_hq.gif)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I couldn't decide between my three boys so here's the answer you were all probably wondering. Until further notice this is what's happening, but don't worry all the fluff isn't going to last. Love you guys!
> 
> By the way I love Lucifer, he's a favorite of mine but for the sake of the fic he kinda had to be a douche, just sayin.


	15. The Devil Inside Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer gives you a taste of how it would feel if the demon inside had control for a brief moment. Just when you thought you were on top of the world, you get thrown back down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because I love you guys and because I had time to write this, I present you chapter 15 of abomination. Sorry if the points of view get a tad confusing, I tried.

Castiels POV:

 

It felt weird being possessed. He knew that he was still in his own vessel and yet everything felt foreign to him. He watched as his body walked up to a mirror, his face wearing a large smirk as he stared back at his own reflection. Castiel knew this was a terrible idea but it was the only one he could think of to help you, so he had to deal with it. He only hoped you wouldn’t be to angry with him when you finally figured out what happened. Lucifer promised not to hurt you when he possessed him, but that didn’t mean he would still play nice. He knew you’d be able to hold your own, but he hated to think that you’d have to. 

“You know little brother,” Lucifer said in the voice Castiel had become highly familiar with as himself speaking. “I can see why she fell for this vessel.” 

“She’ll know that you are not me if you go near her,” Castiel thought, knowing full well his own lips wouldn’t move. 

“Will she though? Maybe I’ll be able to get her on her knees and you know, pray for me,” Lucifer laughed and wiped away at his cheek, faking a tear. 

“I wouldn’t underestimate her Lucifer,” Castiel almost growled. 

“I’m not in the least bit,” Castiel, no Lucifer shrugged his shoulders. “I just know she won’t be able to tell.” 

“And how might that be,” Castiel ground out between clenched teeth, liking this plan less and less. 

“Same way you can’t see her other true face,” smirking Lucifer readjusted the trenchcoat that hung from his body. “You see what you want to see brother, when there’s two powerful beings in one body, the more powerful one is in possession. Like us for instance. She’s an abomination, not because of the type of person she is, but because she’s quite literally two people."

“I don’t understand,” Castiel said skeptically. 

“Don’t expect you to,” Lucifer smirked one last time at their reflection in the mirror. “Just sit back and enjoy the ride. You’ll see soon enough,” with that said Lucifer snapped his fingers, flying them both to hell. He intended on retaking his rightful place on the throne and making sure your “father” was taken care of. 

 

Your POV: 

 

Waking up next to Dean was something you weren’t expecting, then again nothing about the night prior was what you expected. Dean was so much different then you thought he would be, including being big on cuddling. You woke up with his strong arms wrapped around your torso and his nose buried in your hair. The only sign he was still asleep was the soft snores he seemed to make. 

His entire body was pressed against your back and the warmth was definitely welcoming. Turning your head slightly you were met with his relaxed face, that no longer held all of the hard lines and exhaustion you normally saw him with. You couldn’t help but smile at him and run your hand up his arm, squeezing it slightly as you burrowed against him once again. 

“You keep that up, you ain’t leavin’ this bed anytime soon,” he said gruffly, keeping his eyes shut. 

“What? What am I possibly doing?” you feigned innocence, watching as his lips curled up into a smirk. 

“You’re lucky you wore me out last night,” he huffed and ran his nose along the crook of your neck, placing soft kisses as he went. “Even if I wanted to, which I do. I don’t think I’d be able to move,” he brushed his nose against your ear and kissed it softly. “Rubbing your butt against a mans crotch is bound to get you into trouble though, just remember that for later.” 

Rolling your eyes at him, you laughed. “Dean Winchester, to tired for sex. That’s a first.” 

“Well I’m sorry if going, fuck I don’t even know how many times we did it last night. My dick is gonna fall off if we keep it up though,” he chuckled and moved to lay on his back, pulling you with him as he did. 

Turning to face him, you rested your hand on his chest, absentmindedly tracing patterns. “Are you complaining?” 

“Not at all, sweetheart,” you could hear the smirk in his voice. “If it were up to me, I’d be inside you all the time,” he mused as he kissed your head, running his hand up your bare back. 

“I can’t tell if that’s charming or gross,” you scrunched your face and looked up at him. 

“Probably both,” he shrugged and cupped your cheek with his hand not currently holding you to him. Before you could respond he pressed his lips to yours in a sweet kiss. This kiss wasn’t about sex or proving a point, it was just about showing how much he cared about you. 

When he pulled away you looked into his bright green eyes. “You didn’t have a nightmare last night,” you said softly as you moved your hand up to rest on his neck. 

“I always did sleep better with you in the same bed,” he shrugged, not meeting your eyes. 

Running your hand through his hair you couldn’t help the love sickening look you gave him as he moved into your hand. “You’re trouble Winchester,” you sighed. 

“If I’m trouble, then when you’re around it makes it double,” he laughed at his own stupid joke. 

“You’re an ass,” you huffed, trying to hide the urge to laugh. Sitting up away from him, you watched as he pouted. “Are you pouting at me?” you raised an eyebrow as he continued to look at you. 

“Pfft, no,” he looked away but moved his hands up your arms, trying to pull you back to him. 

“De,” you laughed at his attempts to bring you back to him. “We need to get up.” 

“It’s to early,” he huffed and threw his arms back down on the bed. 

“It’s 11:30,” you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes as you stood up from the bed. “We probably didn’t get to bed until around 4 or 5 though,” you shrugged. 

“Seriously?” he sat up and looked at his alarm. “Shit,” his face broke into a shit eating grin. “Haven’t lost my touch.” 

Walking around the room you picked up the pile of clothes on the floor. “Sam is probably gonna barge in any minute,” you said as you grabbed your panties from the pile. 

“So?” he raised an eyebrow as he watched you dress. “So our clothes were just poofed onto the floor?” 

“Something like that, yours are in your laundry basket,” you pointed your thumb in the direction of his dirty clothes before shimmying into your jeans from last night. 

The moment Dean opened his mouth to say something the door of the bedroom burst open. “Dean,” Sam said, his voice telling you something bad happened. He was about to say something else until he noticed the state you and his brother were in. Rubbing his hand against his neck he tried not to look at you, even in your shirtless state. 

“What’s up Sammy,” Dean said in order to find out why he had just barged into his bedroom. 

Clearing his throat, Sam moved to walk back into the hallway. “Castiels back, and he’s not looking so good.” 

Instantly your attention was on Sam. Snapping your fingers your clothes were completely back on your body, as well as Deans who was now fully dressed. Before either brother had time to question what happened you ran out of the room to the library. “CAS!” you yelled as you made it into the room. 

He was beaten and bloody. “(Y/N),” he said in his gruff voice as he made eye contact with you. 

Your eyes softened at the injured man before you. Collapsing in front of him you grasped his hands in yours, looking up into his clear blue eyes. For a moment something felt different, almost as though he was different, but you brushed it off as quickly as the feeling arrived. “What happened Angel,” you said softly. 

“Lucifer,” he squeezed your hands and watched you as your eyes continued to look over his injuries. “I tried to get him to see reason, but he decided to do this,” he motioned to his beaten body. 

Putting your hand on his cheek you looked into his eyes once more, they seemed colder to you. Closing your eyes you used your powers to heal him, but before you could remove yourself from him you felt something try to pry into your own grace. Furrowing your brow you tried pulling your hand away, but Castiels strong hand kept you there, connected. It felt as though a wall was trying to break in your mind.  

Finally able to pull away you opened your eyes with a gasp escaping your lips. Looking at the angel before you, you knew something was wrong. It wasn’t Cas, but you couldn’t do or say what you needed to. It was though your body was no longer under your own control. You felt your own lips conform into a smirk as your body stood from the floor. This couldn’t be happening, what was going on. 

“(Y/N),” Sam ran over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “Are you okay?” 

You tried to answer him as you looked into his deep hazel gaze, but your lips just wouldn’t move. When you heard yourself answer, you knew it wasn’t you in control any more. “I’m just fine, Sammy,” you heard your voice, but it sounded colder and meaner. 

“Are you sure?” Dean said, walking up behind you both. His eyes glancing between you and Castiel. 

“Of course Dean,” you smiled sweetly at him, it was almost sickening to you. All you wanted to do was scream and yell that this wasn’t you, but how could you. Your gaze moved to the angel in the room and that’s when you saw it, Lucifer was in your angels vessel. 

Your feet were moving but it wasn’t you commanding them.  _ “What the hell are you doing?”  _ you thought to yourself. 

_ “Things are gonna start changing (Y/N),”  _ your own voice answered, laughing at you. 

_ “I won’t let you do this,”  _ you snarled at yourself in your mind. 

_ “You’re not in control anymore, sit back and enjoy the show. I know I have,” _ she answered you before turning to face all three men. 

“I’ve got shit to do,” she said, smirking at them. “Have fun jerking each other off,” she saluted to them. No matter how hard you tried, you were not longer in control. You just hoped the boys would figure it out before it was to late. 

 

Third Person POV:

 

Eyeing her retreating form questioningly, Sam turned to look at his brother. “That was weird.” 

“Yeah, I’ll say,” Dean said, looking at his brother. “Cas, what happened before we came in here?” 

Clearing his throat, Lucifer looked at them with the best Castiel impression he could muster. “She healed me,” his eyes moved between the Winchesters. “Maybe something happened before that upset her.” 

Sam’s gaze quickly dropped at the thought of walking in on her and his brother. He hadn’t expected her to be in his older brothers bedroom, then again he thought that he still had a chance with you. “Maybe,” he answered, not looking at the other men. 

The once good feeling Dean had about being with her quickly faded. Had she regret last night after his brother walked in on them? After all she admitted to having feelings for the other two men in the room. Sighing he waved both men off without another word, walking back to his bedroom. 

Lucifer smirked proudly at what had already started to unfold. His goal was to unleash the other her and to tear team free will apart. He of course knew that if could be a bad idea on his part because she could always betray him and side with Amara. In fact he was positive that’s what was going to happen in the first place. He just couldn’t help himself when she touched him. He felt Castiel trying to reach out to her through his own grace and he couldn’t have that, at least this way she would go about her business without trying to stop him. 

Lucifer watched intently as Sam moved to the bookshelves of the library, most likely to do some sickening research on some bullshit hunt. Rolling his eyes, Lucifer stood and moved to walk in the direction she had. 

“Probably shouldn’t poke the bear,” Sam said, not looking up from the book he was looking at. 

Furrowing his brow, Lucifer stopped but did not turn to face the younger Winchester. “I am only going to check if she is okay.” 

Sighing Sam sat down at one of the tables and shook his head. “Just don’t piss her off man, she doesn’t seem to be in a mood for dealing with anyone anymore.” 

Without answering, Lucifer continued his goal of finding where she went. He was going to try to get her to join him, or at least form an alliance until further notice. He felt how much the other (Y/N) wanted the Winchesters and Castiel dead, all he needed to do was convince her that he wanted the same. Smirking to himself, he knocked on the door he assumed she was hiding behind. 

 

Your POV: 

 

“Not in the mood,” she groaned as she got up from your bed. 

_ “You know, if you want them to believe you’re me. Be nicer,”  _ you said to her. 

_ “Oh well fuck that,”  _ you felt her roll your eyes as she opened the door, smirking when she saw who it was. “Oh well look who it is.” 

“May I come in?” Lucifer asked wearing a smirk on Castiels lips. 

Moving out of his was she waved her arm back towards the room, welcoming him into your bedroom. “What do you want Lucy?” she said with a roll of your eyes. 

“What do you think I want?” he answered, shutting the door behind him. 

“A quick fuck?” she responded wiggling your eyebrows. 

Rolling Castiels baby blues he scoffed. “No, at least not right now.” 

“Then what do you want,” she said as she crossed your arms. 

“There’s a reason I helped you take over your body,” his eyes roamed down your body. “I support what you’re for, figured we could help each other.” 

“Yeah right,” she said with an exaggerated flick of your wrist. “I ain’t helping you do shit. I’m only gonna listen to one person, and she doesn’t see fit to harm them yet. She even kinda wants Dean alive. Don’t see why myself, sure he’s a great lay but not worth it.”

You growled at her admission even though you knew it wouldn’t do you any good. You tried as best you could to claw your way back to the surface but you had no luck. You had to sit back and watch as Lucifer walked towards you. “I released you and I can just put you right back,” he growled at her. 

“You do that and she’ll turn on you so fast your head will spin, she’s fighting right now,” she said smugly, feeling your lips turn into a shit eating grin. 

“How about I ask her?” Lucifer raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Wait wh-,” before she could finish, Lucifer lifted his hand and pressed it to your forehead. You could feel the control come back to your limbs. 

“She’s kind of a bitch,” Lucifer said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“What are you doing?” you snarled at him, knowing you had full ability over your body. 

“Making sure that either way you know, I’m stronger than you. Even as this,” he motioned his hands up and do the length of Castiels body. “So let me tell you this,” he pursed his lips in thought. “I won’t let her take control of you again and you agree to help me.” 

“Why would I help you? You want the people I love dead,” you scoffed and scowled at him. 

“Because if you don’t, I’ll bring her back and she’ll be pissed. She’ll go running off to auntie Amara and then she’ll kill them without batting an eye,” he moved his hands as a way of showing a scale. 

“You’ll kill them anyways,” you felt your jaw tick in anger. 

Wagging a finger at you, he smirked. “Not if you help me take down Amara.” 

“You’re lying,” you huffed. 

Before you had a chance to react, his hand was around your neck and you were pressed to the wall of your room. His face only centimeters from yours, you could feel his warm breath on your cheek. No matter how much you struggled, he was still stronger than you. “You can believe whatever you want. I promised Castiel I wouldn’t kill you, didn’t promise not to let that she devil run around in place of you though,” releasing your neck and running his hand down your hair, in what you assumed was an act of comfort. “I like you kid. I don’t want to hurt you, not really. I wanted to tear you all apart, but I realized that probably wouldn’t be best for myself. I want them to live in hell, but she’ll just kill them first. I want cooperation, she doesn’t seem to want to give me that.” 

You couldn’t help the longing you felt the longer he touched you. You knew it wasn’t the angel you’ve come to love but a part of you felt drawn to Lucifer. “What are you doing to me?” you said quietly as your eyes met his. 

“You forget that I had the mark first (Y/N),” he brushed his nose against your cheek. “In a way we’re as connected as you and Dean, maybe even more so. The demon inside of you craves me, maybe even the angel too,” he smirked as he felt your body tense. “Probably doesn’t hurt I’m wearing your precious angel boy,” he chuckled to himself as you felt one of his hands creep up your side. “So I tell you what,” he moved away slightly and placed his hand on your neck. “You do as I tell you, when I tell you. I won’t kill your precious boyfriends, or your father. You help me stop Amara, I won’t release the other you on the world.” 

You tensed more so than you ever thought possible at the mention of your father. “What did you do to Crowley.” 

“Let’s just say I think he has a few kinks of his own,” he chuckled darkly as his eyes flashed red. 

“If you hurt him,” you moved to try and attack him but his grip on you held firm. 

“I won’t if you listen,” he slammed you against the wall, causing the air in your lungs to escape all at once. 

“Why would you think it’s a good idea to let her free if I refuse anyways? Won’t she just go after you?” you asked, taking a deep breath. 

“You let me worry about that,” he brought his face closer to yours once more, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. “So do we have a deal?” 

Looking down at his chest you shook your head as a tear ran down your cheek. You knew it was a bad idea, but you needed to protect them. He showed you how easily he could turn you and you couldn’t let it happen again. Lucifer had you in his dirty clutches and it was all thanks to Castiel saying yes. Clenching your jaw you looked back into the once again blue eyes of the man you had started to fall for. “We have a deal.” 

Ghosting his lips over yours you watched as Castiels once gorgeous face morphed into a cocky grin. “You know all too well how we make a deal in hell, sweetheart,” without giving you a chance to respond his lips were on yours. They were cold and nothing like the ones you often thought about when thinking of Castiel. You knew it was wrong but you also knew you didn’t wish to pull away. When his tongue ran over your bottom lip you opened your mouth for him, fully submitting to the devil. You wanted to punch yourself for what you were doing, knowing full well that Castiel probably saw and felt everything Lucifer was doing. When he finally pulled away he clenched his jaw and looked at you sharply. He put his hand under your chin and gripped it roughly. “First thing I need you to do is end that relationship with both Winchesters,” his lips curled up into a smug smirk. 

Looking up at him dumbfounded, your brows furrowed together. “Why? What does having a relationship with them have anything to do with listening and doing what you want.” 

Moving his head lower to look straight in your eyes he raised his lip into a snarl. “Because you’re mine now, don’t need what’s mine getting into the wrong hands. I know how you feel about both Sam and Dean, even Castiel. You love them so much it’s sickening and yet knowing that it’ll hurt them to not be with you makes me feel all tingly inside. Sure Cassie will get you through me,” he shrugged. “But those boys need to know how it feels to have something they want so much taken from them, either that or I’ll just kill them.” 

You could feel your stomach forming a knot at the thought of losing them. “I’ll end it,” you said softly.

“Good girl,” he said patting your cheek. “Now show me exactly why you have these men wrapped around your little finger.” 

His eyes flashed red once more and you knew then and there that no matter what you did, your life would never truly be your own. “Yes, sir.” 

Moving his hand into your hair he practically growled. “Now that’s what I like to hear,” he laughed as he pulled you into his body. The smile he wore on his face made your heart skip a beat for a moment reminding you of Castiel. You fought back a tear as his lips moved along your neck. You had really done it this time. 


	16. "Feelings"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer has some feelings of his own and knows when you're lying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait guys, the last month has been hectic. I don't think this is my best work but it definitely adds more depth into was Lucifer wants. Things will start kicking off more soon, promise.

“You son of a bitch,” you growled as your back slammed against a brick wall. 

“Now now now, is that any way to talk to me,” Lucifer said smugly as his hands moved down your body. 

“I agreed to help you,” you tried to push his hands away but only managed to allow him to slam them against the wall above your head. “I never agreed to be a booty call.” 

Smirking he looked up curiously at nothing. “That’s right, because you haven’t ended it with those Winchester boys,” he tsked. 

“I haven’t done anything with either of them since the last time we had spoken,” you said, continuing to try and get out of his grip. 

You watched him roll his eyes dramatically before moving his hand to cup your jaw roughly. “I gave you a week to do as you’re told,” he slammed you against the wall again roughly. “Or are you planning to try and find a loophole?” he moved his face closer, your heart aching for it to be Castiel so close to you but you knew it wasn’t. “I can see and hear every dirty little thought running through the minds of those asshats. You’re mine now and they need to know that, understand?” 

“Yes, sir,” you ground out between your teeth. You couldn’t help but watch as his plump lips formed into a smirk once more. 

“Don’t act like you don’t enjoy my company,” he said before nipping your jaw. 

“I loathe you,” you pulled your head away from him. 

You expected him to grab you roughly again but instead he just put his hand on your cheek and met your eyes. “That’s not what you were saying last time.” 

“What can I say,” you shrugged, not letting his piercing gaze effect you. “You’re wearing Castiel, love the body. Hate the man wearing it.” 

“You’re lucky I like your fire,” he sneered and pressed his thumb to your lip roughly. “Or else you’d be dead,” he pursed his lips and tapped his finger against your cheek. “Now, I’ll give you one more day to let them down harshly. Don’t care what you do to do it, just get it done.” 

“Or what?” you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Or I kill your dad,” he said with a shit eating grin, moving his lips just a inch from your own. “Did you forget I had him while you were busy sucking their dicks?” 

“No,” you glared at him. “And for the last damn time we’ve been hunting, I haven’t even been in the same room alone with either of them for that shit.” 

“Hmm,” he moved his hand to rest on the side of your head and you watched as his eyes flashed red, before a rush of memories came back into your head.    
  


_ One week earlier: _

 

Having sex with the devil had been pretty much what you expected. Cold and hard, with very little care in it. It was nothing like the passion you felt when you were with Castiel and you hated it. You knew it was the only way to really be close to the Seraph again, but at what cost. You were the devils bitch and you had to do what he told you to. Including breaking Dean Winchesters heart and never being able to know how it would feel to truly fall for Sam Winchester. Maybe it was for the best, you were being selfish after all. You didn’t even deserve one of them to care for you, let alone all three of them. Could that be why you cared so deeply? They were better than you, probably. It didn’t matter though, Lucifer gave you an ultimatum and you couldn’t risk it. He’d kill them all and continue hurting your father, you had to do it for them. 

“(Y/N),” you heard Sam's voice call from down the hall of the bunker before you heard his footsteps. 

Wiping your face, you felt the tears on your cheeks that you didn’t know even fell before calling back to him. “Yeah Sammy?” 

You looked towards the open door when he came into view. “We have a lead on a hunt,” he said rubbing his neck. “Wanted to know if you would come with.” 

You smiled at him and nodded. Ever since he walked in on you half naked in his brothers room he was like an awkward little kid, it was cute. “I’d love to,” you stood from your spot on your bed. “When did you wanna head out?” you asked as you bent down next to your dresser to pick up your duffel, not realizing you gave the younger Winchester a great view of your ass. 

Clearing his throat, he looked away. “As soon as possible,” his voice was deeper than normal. 

Standing up with your bag you looked back at him, only to be greeted with a blushing moose. Furrowing your brow you looked down at yourself and realized you weren’t wearing any pants, only a large flannel and panties. “Sorry Sam, forgot,” you gestured towards your bare legs. 

Looking back at you, his eyes gave you a once over. “Is that my shirt?” he raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Uh,” you looked at the sleeve briefly, pretending that it would tell you the answer you already knew. “Yeah, it is. I like your clothes,” you shrugged. “Plus you never made me give it back to you when you let me borrow it.” 

He thought for a moment before he remembered the day Dean was being a dick to you about needing clothing, so he just gave you his. He had to admit he did it for a slightly selfish purpose, he wanted to see what you looked like in his clothing. “You look better in it then I do anyways.” 

“Why Sam Winchester,” you smirked and walked over to him, throwing your duffel on the bed. “Are you flirting with me?” 

“Just stating a fact,” he smirked back at you when you stood toe to toe with him. Without thinking much of it Sam reached his hand out to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. “Not that you don’t always look good anyways.” 

You felt your cheeks heat up, causing you too look down. His bright hazel eyes were looking down at you with an intensity you couldn’t read. You wanted to tell him what was going on, that you loved him. He cupped your cheek with his large hand and gently moved your head until you were looking him in the eye once more. The moment he noticed you were blushing a genuine smile graced his face, defined dimples joining it. “Stop looking at me like that,” you mumbled as you looked into his eyes.

You weren’t sure if you were imagining it or not as his face slowly got closer. “Can’t help it,” he whispered so close you could feel his breath on your face. 

You felt your chest clench, this couldn’t happen. Though you wanted him, you wanted to tell him everything you had kept hidden, you couldn’t. Lucifer had you wrapped around his ice cold finger and no matter what you did, someone would get hurt. At least they’d be alive though. 

“Sammy,” you breathed out as his lips ghosted over yours, your thoughts of Lucifer being thrown away as all you could think about was Sam and how he felt against you. How he made you feel all those months ago. 

He didn’t crash his lips into yours, it was more of a gentle push which gave you time to pull away. When he realized you wouldn’t reject him his hands found your waist and pulled you into him tighter. As your lips moved together one of your hands found its way into his shaggy chestnut hair, gripping it tightly and drawing a soft groan from the man in your arms. Your stomach fluttered as his hands felt there way down to your bare thighs, lifting you to wrap your legs around his waist and moving to press you to a wall. It was nothing like how it had been last time, it was sweet in a weird dominate way. Sam made sure he was in control but not in a demanding way. His hands stayed a safe distance away from your most intimate parts as he held you to the wall, ravishing your mouth. 

When you both finally pulled away for air, you looked him in the eye. He quickly looked away and put you back down on the ground. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and backed away from you. 

“Sam?” you reached out to touch his arm. The look on his face showed you the guilt he held, why he felt that way you had no idea. 

“I-,” he paused and moved towards the still open door. About to say something he thought better of it when you had heard the heavy footsteps of the older Winchester making his way down the hall. Clearing his throat he contorted his face to hide any of his emotions. “Get dressed and packed. Meet us in the garage in 30,” without another word or waiting for a response from you he walked out the room, not bothering to look back. 

You watched after him with your mouth gaped open in shock. What had just happened? One moment he was kissing you like you were what gave him life and the next he wanted nothing to do with you. Did you do something wrong? Groaning you went to your dresser and began pulling clothes out to pack.    
  


_ Present:  _

 

Lucifer looked at you with a smirk on his face as he pulled his hand away. “Although that was getting interesting,” he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “You lied to me, kitten,” he tsked. 

“So one little lip locking,” you shrugged not meeting his eyes. “He rejected me Lucy,” you smirked at the look of irritation that graced his handsome face at his nickname. 

“Oh, I’m sure he did,” his voice was dangerously low as his face became closer to yours. “But if you want to continue lying to me, I can always find out for myself.” 

“You sure you wanna dig that deep?” you raised an eyebrow at him. “My heads all sorts fucked up, may seem some shit you don’t want to.” 

“What could be worse than what I’ve already seen in my lifetime?” he questioned snarkily. 

“Well there was that time I watched two dudes going at it,” you laughed at the look of shock on his face. “Don’t knock it until you try it man, I’ve been around a long time. As you know, I’ve seen some interesting stuff.” 

Huffing he backed away from you and moved towards a crate that had been sitting in the alley he had cornered you in. “You sure are something else.” 

“You don’t know the half of it,” you huffed a laugh and watched him carefully as he sat atop of the crate. 

Sighing he ran a hand through the dark hair of his vessel. “Why must you do that?” 

“I don’t follow,” you moved away from the wall and stood a few feet in front of him. 

Growling he looked up at you with a cold look in his eye. “Piss me off and then go and make me feel these,” he rolled his eyes and motioned his hand over his chest. “Feelings.” 

“I still don’t think I understand,” you pursed your lips and stared at the devil. He went from a deadly force to a simple insecure man. 

“You lied to me,” he stood and clenched his jaw. “Which is enough for me to want to pull out of our little deal by the way,” he pointed his finger in your direction. “And yet it seems I have a soft spot for you and I hate that, so even when you say disgusting crap like you just did I don’t care,” his arms hung limply at his side as he eyed you curiously. “I’ve seemed to always have a soft spot for you,” he said quietly. “Even before Castiel and I shared a vessel.” 

“What?” you were dumbfounded hearing this from the devil himself. 

He looked at you like he was broken and shook his head, his fists clenched at his sides. “I’ve watched you for a very long time,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You were the only thing that kept me going while I was in the cage, okay.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” you were getting angry with him. After all the shit he had pulled in the years prior, he had no right to say anything like this. 

“You’re different,” he moved closer to you, his cold hand reaching out for you shyly. Nothing like that angry angel he had been moments before. “An abomination, but you’re an amazing abomination. You’re powerful and I’ve never been more fascinated with another being like I am with you.” 

“You’re lying,” you growled and backed away from him. You didn’t miss the look of hurt that flashed on his face though. 

“How could I lie to you?” he whispered. 

“You’re the damn devil, that’s how,” you glared at him as he ran a hand down his face. He seemed vulnerable, nothing like the Lucifer you’ve met in the past. 

“Well maybe if you realized that much like the other men in your life,” he growled back and pushed you against the wall once more, although putting one hand behind your head to cushion the blow. “I’m in love with you.” 

 

_ 4 Days Ago: _

 

“Dean,” you groaned as you rolled over in your motel bed. 

“C’mon sweetheart,” you heard his gravely morning voice as he pushed on your arm again. “Get up.” 

“G’way,” you huffed and pushed him away. “M’sleepin.” 

“We have a hunt we need to work on,” he rolled his eyes and pulled on the blanket you had covering you. “You don’t think I wanna go back to sleep,” he yawned. 

Opening one eye you looked at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s 5 in the fucking morning,” you growled and turned to look at him angrily. Your anger almost immediately disappearing as you took in his sleepy appearance. His flannel pajama pants hanging low on his hips and his bare torso immediately attracting your eyes. 

“Don’t you wanna shower with me?” he smirked at you when he noticed what you were looking at. 

Squinting your eyes at him you shifted enough to push him with your foot. “No,” you said bluntly. 

Shaking his head he immediately grabbed your ankle. Before you could react he pulled you out of the bed and onto the floor. “Glad to see you’re awake,” he winked at you when you looked up at him from your spot on the floor. 

Rubbing your now sore ass, you looked up at him wanting nothing more then to punch him. “You’re lucky I love you, you jackass,” you grumbled and winced as you moved to stand. 

He embraced you in his strong arms and looked at you with his emerald green eyes. “I’m the luckiest guy, like ever,” he pecked your lips gently before you could push him away. Pressing his forehead against yours. 

You felt your stomach clench and bile rise in your throat, but you managed to smile at him anyways. Lucifer wanted you to leave this man, even after all you had gone through to finally be with him, you couldn’t. “Go take your shower,” you said softly, moving your hand to run through his short hair on the back of his head. “I’ll go see if Sammy’s up.” 

“Oh he is, who do you think woke me up?” Dean yawned with a sleepy smile gracing his beautiful face. “You tell him yet?” 

“No,” you shook your head and rested your head against his firm chest. “But I might while you’re showering.” 

“Just don’t give me any details,” he scoffed but hugged you tightly. 

Pulling away from him you gave him a weak smile. “I’ll see you in a bit.” 

He raised a brow in question but didn’t want to push you into telling him something if you didn’t want to. “Alright,” he pecked your lips once more and left you to take a shower in the small motel bathroom. 

You watched as the door shut behind him and sighed. It was going to be harder than you thought. Feeling a tear escape and run down your cheek you quickly wiped it away and moved to your phone sitting on the nightstand. Quickly sending Sam a text to ask if he was in their room you waited for a response. 

You heard your phone ding fairly quickly and smiled.  _ “Yeah I’m in my room, just got back from my run. Why?” _

_ “You’re brothers an ass and woke me up, plus I needed to talk to you,”  _ You laughed slightly at your response. 

Not waiting for a response you got ready to leave the room. Looking down at yourself you decided to put a robe on before going to see Sam, not that your outfit was that bad. You had a pair of plaid sleep shorts and a black tank top on, though you weren’t wearing anything under those. 

Grabbing the generic cream colored motel robe you put it on before exiting your room. Luckily Sam and Dean’s shared bedroom was right across the hall from your own, so you didn’t have far to go.

Holding the robe to your body tightly you knocked on the door. The moment the door opened you were greeted with the half naked body of Sam Winchester. His work out shorts were hanging low enough to be greeted with the sight of his Saxx boxers waistband. His torso was bare and glistening with sweat. 

Swallowing thickly you looked up at him and tried to train your mind to think of anything other then the adonis in front of you. Clearing your throat you smiled. “Can I come in?” 

Raising both eyebrows he nodded and moved out of the way. “I’m guessing you didn’t read my next text.” 

Moving past him and into the room you looked around. “Nope,” you said popping the ‘P’. Their room was very similar to your own but it had two queens rather then just one. Looking at both beds you could tell which Winchester slept in which bed. Dean’s was still a mess with blankets halfway off the bed and Sam’s was pristine, almost like he didn’t sleep in it. “Why?”

“Said I was gonna shower first,” he shut the door and moved to the small table of the room, grabbing a towel that had been set on top of it. 

“Oh,” pursing your lips you looked at your feet. “I can go back to my room then,” you shrugged. 

“No,” he moved closer to you and put a finger under your chin, raising your gaze to his own. “What is it? You said you needed to talk to me.” 

“It can wait,” you smiled up at him and grabbed his hands. 

Looking down at you he must have noticed that something was up and he shook his head. He grabbed your hands tightly and pulled you over to his made bed. “What’s wrong?” 

You bit your lip tightly and tried to avoid his eye contact. Taking a deep breath you pulled your hands away from his and ran them through your hair. “I know that you saw Dean and I the other night in his room, I want you to know that I didn’t just choose Dean.” 

Nodding his head he took a seat on his bed. “Then what exactly is going on?”

Rubbing the back of your neck you debated on whether or not if you just wanted to tell him. Lucifer wanted you to end your antics with the boys, but did that mean Sam didn’t deserve to at least know how you felt. “I uh,” you swallowed the lump in your throat. Why was this so difficult? When you told Dean it just came to you, then again you were fighting with him and couldn’t control yourself. 

“You what?” he looked at you with his signature puppy dog eyes, urging you to go on. 

“I,” taking another deep breath you sat beside him and took his hands in yours once more. “I love you too, Sammy.” 

It was his turn to be at a loss for words at your announcement. He looked down at your intertwined hands and you watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched. “Why are you telling me this, especially after you were with my brother.” 

“Because you deserve to know, he knows,” you ran your thumb across the top of his hand. “I can’t help but to love you both as well as Castiel. All of you are so important to me and I fell in love with each of you for different reasons. If you don’t feel the same, that’s perfectly fine. I’m not going to push this on you, but I want you to know Dean understands and he’s okay with it. Fuck, he encourages it in his own weird way. I don’t know if its just because of his guilt from his past or if he’s really fine with it or not.” 

“So my brothers basically trying to pimp you out?” he asked with an eyebrow raised. 

You snorted a laugh suddenly and covered your mouth. “If anything, I’m pimping myself out. But I just figured you should know, especially before anything goes out of control. Amara could come and kill us all tomorrow. I needed to get it off my chest,” you paused and pursed your lips. “You’re not one to judge though, after walking in on me and Dean you still kissed me like your life depended on it.” 

This caused him to smirk as he brought a hand up to cup your cheek. “Couldn’t help myself. You’ve always been irresistible to me.” 

You gave him a small smile and held his hand against your cheek. “And to think, I always thought you were the innocent one.” 

“I think you found out I’m not by the way I fucked you on the Impala,” he said like it was nothing, causing your eyes to open widely. “I love you too, by the way,” he shrugged getting up and leaving you to take a shower in the connected bathroom. 

Once the door was shut you let out a heavy sigh. You needed to tell them before it was to late. But what exactly could you tell them. ‘So I know I said I loved you both, but I don’t want to be with you’, that was a way to make them pissed off. They’d never just let you leave like that. Maybe you could just up and leave all together, at least until you had a plan to stop Lucifer and get Castiel back. Groaning you flopped back onto Sams bed. It was to early for this, yes you didn’t actually need to sleep but you liked to. Especially when you didn’t have to worry about the Devil, God’s sister, and three men who hold your heart making your life hell. Not to mention you had not just three lives on the line, but your fathers as well. You were wrapped around satans finger and there was nothing you could do about it. 

 

_ Present:  _

 

“You what?” you hissed at Lucifer, who still had you pressed against the wall tightly. 

“You know you heard me,” he hummed as he ran a light finger along your cheek. “Maybe it’s just me who feels these things or little Cassies feelings coming through too,” he shrugged. “But you sure are something special.” 

Clenching your jaw you tried to move your head out of his reach, though his grip was tight, he loosened it slightly. “Then why go about things this way?” 

“Because you’re in love with those flannel wearing apes and my lesser angelic brother,” he rolled his eyes. “Plus, I’m not a goody two shoes like them. See, I know a part of you loves this. The demonic piece of you,” he pressed a finger against your chest and you felt a warm presence enter your body. “But that bitch will go crying to mommy if I let her out, as we’ve learned. So, I’m left with your good hearted angelic self,” he grimaced. “Gotta get you on my side some way.” 

“Ever think if you were nice and didn’t treat people lesser than you like garbage, you’d get a chance?” you cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Not with those three idiots and your father in your life,” he smirked and brushed his nose against your jaw. “Leverage my dear. I may have,” he paused and grimaced again. “Feelings towards you, but I’m still the devil. And until that other side of you chooses the right side, I’m stuck with you. Gotta make things fun somehow,” he smirked once again and buried his hand in your hair, tilting your head back to allow him access to your neck. “And baby, I’m just getting started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me guys, I love you all and I appreciate you all being patient with me.


	17. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the reader finally give in to what her real destiny is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. I've had some pretty extreme writers block and it all hit me at once. I realize that this may not live up to the rest of the fic but I sure hope it does. I love you guys and hope you enjoy this chapter. I think we're coming to and end, this chapter took a turn I didn't think I would go but I like it.

Darkness always seemed to calm you. Maybe it was just the demon half of you that liked it, but it was something you always found solace in for whatever reason. Any time you felt yourself slipping you could always rely on it. You figured that’s why you really enjoyed sleep as much as you did, considering you really didn’t need it. You cherished your dreamless nights and more times than not feared when you had dreams, given the fact you would always have unwanted visitors. Tonight seemed like one of those nights.  

“I always look forward to seeing what your mind comes up with,” a feral voice said from a distance. Though you couldn’t see them, you knew who it was.

“I thought you had left me for good,” you rolled your eyes. 

“Oh no, I would never do that. After all I’m trapped in here with you at all times,” you saw her walk up to you from out of the darkness. 

“What do you want? Haven’t you caused me enough problems?” you glared at your mirrored self, only it wasn’t you. Not really. 

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, though with the blackness in them you could barely tell. “It seems to me you caused enough problems. Falling for not one, but three men. Not to mention the fact the devil himself has you wrapped around his little finger.” 

“You’re one to talk,” you snarled at her. 

“Now really, what have I done to make your situation any worse? I just simply want to go home, and I think deep down you do to,” you watched her lips form into a dark smile. 

“I am home, my family is home,” you felt your fists clench. 

“No, you only think that,” she stalked towards you. “Amara is our home, she is the reason we are what we are. You think we would be alive if she didn’t want this?”

“It doesn’t matter what she wants, I am my own person and I can make my own choices.” 

“Really?” she laughed. “Your own choices, sure seems like there’s always someone making choices for you. WE were built as one, WE are better as a whole. She wants what’s best for us.” 

“Best for us? She wants everyone dead and I’m willing to bet as soon as she destroys everything and everyone we’ll be next,” you glared at her, you could feel your wings stretch in defiance. 

“You really think that lowly of her?” you watched as her face formed into a stone glare. “Everyone has pushed her away (Y/N), even her own brother.”   


“You don’t think there’s reason for that? She destroys everything she touches and anything she creates destroys for her.”

“So is that what we are, a weapon?” she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Yes, but more so you. All you want is death and agony of others, you reek of everything evil. I will die before I ever agree to anything you or her want me to do,” you sneered.

She lifted a finger and tapped her chin. “You may say that now but if anything happens to one of those boys,” she paused walking closer to you. “You would do anything to save them if you couldn’t. Hence why you’re working with the devil right? Didn’t he, what’s the word for it. Threaten to kill all of them, including daddy dearest,” you looked at her without answering so she continued. “You are not only part archangel but part knight of hell. You have more power than any of them could dream of. Yet you choose to do nothing.” 

“I choose to do nothing in the way you want me to because I know once I let myself go, you’ll be there waiting to take control and I cannot let that happen.”

“The thing you don’t seem to understand,” she smirked and ran a rough hand through your hair, grabbing it tightly and pulled. Her lips raised up in a snarl as she showed her teeth. “You have no choice. Either they die or you die,” he voice got louder as her face was directly in yours, you couldn’t move. You were trapped. “It will end with blood just as it had begun, and I will not let you kill me,” she pulled harder, enough to pull you to the ground. Though it was all blackness. “One way or another everything will end with blood.”

 

…

 

You woke with a jump and clutched your hand over your chest. Why did she come to you again, after all of the things that happened why now. Running your hands through your hair and down your face you took a deep breath and looked around your empty room. You had chosen to leave the boys without much explanation, so you were alone for the first time in what felt like forever. 

Sitting up from your makeshift bed you rolled your shoulders. Maybe deciding to sleep in an abandoned warehouse wasn’t the best of ideas, but you didn’t want anyone to find you. It had only been a week, but it felt like ages. You couldn’t decide if it was the fact you were waking up alone or if it was just the idea of not seeing any of the people you cared about again, but you felt empty inside as well. The only person you allowed to know your location was Lucifer, and that was only because if he didn’t know he’d kill everyone without much thought. 

“Fuck this,” you groaned and laid back down with a huff, covering your face in anger. She’s right in a way, you shouldn’t be letting him control you like this when you may very well be stronger than even the devil himself. Why take the risk though and piss him off further, maybe he wouldn’t kill you but the lives a stake were to great to lose. 

Reaching your hand out to your left you pulled your bag towards you. You left the bunker with the bare essentials, taking clothes, money, and your phone with you. Though you kept your phone off most of the time, you needed to know if the boys were okay. 

Turning it on you sighed, holding it above your head trying not to drop it on your face as the power screen turned on. The moment it turned on you saw at least 30 missed calls and even more texts, all from the boys. At first you thought maybe it was due to them wanting you to come back but as you looked through them you realized it was worse. You opened the messages and you could feel your throat tighten.

 

_ Sam: Call us back ASAP, please (Y/N) _

_ Sam: I know you left for your own reasons but we need to know you’re okay _

_ Dean: Answer your Goddamn phone _

_ Sam: It’s about Cas, please  _

_ Dean: I swear to god if that son of a bitch hurt you..  _

_ Dean: Please _

_ Sam: Crowley isn’t picking up his phone either, are you with him?  _

Not wanting to see anymore of the messages you swallowed down the bile rising in your throat. Did Lucifer make an appearance? You were sure but you’d bet money on it if he did. Swallowing your pride you clicked on Sam’s contact and hit call. Putting the phone on speaker, you sat up and crossed your legs. 

“(Y/N)?!” Sam’s distressed voice answered.

“Yeah Sammy,” you smiled sadly. “Sorry I didn’t answer, my phone was off,” you said ashamed for worrying them so much. 

You could hear a gruff voice in the background and could only assume it was Dean. “I’m going to put you on speaker.” 

“Alright,” you bit your lip anxiously, standing from your spot on the floor. 

“Sweetheart? Are you alright?” you could hear the concern and fear in Dean’s voice. 

“Just peachy,” you rolled your eyes and smiled a little when you heard him scoff. 

“Where are you?” Sam asked, all seriousness in his voice. 

“Honestly, I’m not sure anymore. Just kinda been flying around, seeing the sights,” you shrugged and began picking up your stuff, throwing it into your bag. 

“Well you need to get your feathery ass back here, now,” Dean said assertively. 

“You can’t talk to me like I’m Cas,” you cringed at the slip of his name through your lips. 

“NOW,” Sam and Dean yelled all that once. 

Sighing to yourself you through your bag over your shoulder. “Fine,” you closed your eyes and appeared behind the two distraught hunters. “Happy?” 

They both turned to face you, shock of your sudden appearance fading quickly. Shaking off the surprise Dean looked at you seriously and assessed your body, checking for any damage. “Has Castiel come to see you at any point since you’ve been gone?” Sam said before Dean could say anything. 

Swallowing you looked away from him. You had to choose between telling them the truth or lying. “(Y/N),” Dean looked at you questioningly waiting for an answer. 

“Yes,” you said softly. Choosing to go with the truth, maybe they’d understand and if not well you’d be fucked either way. 

“Did he say anything to you or do anything to you?” Sam asked, his eyes laced with pure concern. 

You held up your hand to stop them both from saying anything more. “Before I tell you both anything. I need to know what happened and why I had so many messages.” 

Dean looked at Sam briefly before shrugging. “Lucifer is possessing Castiel.” 

[ ](https://49.media.tumblr.com/9b54b3996063a0a076c0a78895e3a3a0/tumblr_o2q3xeJBPo1qlu8two1_500.gif)

 

“What?” you squinted your eyes at them.    


“Well, while you were gone and before we knew about it. He sent Dean into the past to retrieve the hand of God. And well he let it slip when he was about to kill us,” Sam looked at you like it was a normal day for them. You cut him off when he opened his mouth to say something else. 

“I’m going to tell you both something and you’re going to get very pissed off, and I need you to promise me that you won’t freak out,” you looked at them pleadingly. 

“Depends on what it is you have to say,” Dean's defence was up higher than it had been in a long time, you felt hurt even though you had no right to.

Running a hand through your hair you let out a deep breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “I knew.” 

“WHAT?” they both yelled at once.  

“I KNEW,” you yelled back so you could continue talking. “He threatened me, my dad, Cas, and you both. He brought her to the front and made it so I didn’t have control,” you could feel your eyes sting slightly at the remembrance of the feeling of losing control like that again. “I’m sorry,” you sighed softly, looking down at the ground. “That’s why I left. He made me leave.” 

You heard Dean scoff and heavy footsteps walk away from the library. You couldn’t bare the thought of how much you had hurt him, only to look up and see the pain Sam held in his eyes. You had lied to them both and they would never forgive you. Their best friend was being possessed by the devil and the woman they loved lied to them about it. 

“Samm-,” you started but Sam just lifted his hand at you to cut you off and walked out of the room. You watched his retreating form as it followed after his brother. You could feel your heart breaking more than you thought possible. Your lip trembled as a tear escaped down your cheek. “I’m sorry,” you whispered to the empty room as you felt her laughing darkly. She was close to the surface again, but this time you didn’t completely mind it. 

_ “I had a feeling this would happen,” she chuckled. “The moment you fucked up they literally turned their back on you.”  _

_ “Maybe you were right,” you said to her sadly.  _

_ “About what?” her voice was cocky. She already knew.  _

_ Looking down at your hands you sighed. “I don’t have my own choice anymore. I either do something to piss one person off or another.”  _

_ “You’ll learn to accept that, can’t make everyone happy,” you could feel her pat you on the back. “But maybe you could make yourself happy again.”  _

_ “How?” you asked quietly.  _

_ “I think you know exactly how,” she tapped your shoulder lightly. “Let me in.”  _

_ “I can’t do that,” you clenched your jaw tightly.  _

_ “You said it yourself and you know deep down it’s true,” her lips were right by your ear. “You have no choice, I’ve always been here waiting. It’s time you let me in.”  _

_ “I don’t want to join Amara, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I love them,” you could feel her hand run through your hair.  _

_ “And yet they turned their backs on you. One even got possessed by the devil to get away from you,” she tsked. “Some love that is, but you still have me. No matter how much we fight I will never leave you.”  _

_ You turned your light blue, almost white eyes to her black eyes. It didn’t feel like this was all in your head anymore. She was right in front of you.  _

You both stood in the library of the bunker. For the first time you realized how real she really was. She held out her hand to you as you looked into her dark onyx eyes that actually held genuine sympathy. 

You held your hand out to her and as you connected your skin to hers you felt a warming feeling. It washed over you in comfort and for the first time you felt whole. 

You only felt slightly different, your mind and body were the same and yet you no longer cared for anything. You no longer felt any pain in your heart. You smirked and you could feel her inside as you stretched your limbs. 

“Let’s get started.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this part. Please leave any feedback you may have! The reader and her inner demon I feel as though can be all of us when we are in a fight with ourselves. AKF Guys


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